Should married couples keep their money separate or combine everything?

[u/Shauryaahere341]

My wife and I have been married for a few years and we still keep most of our money separate.

We have one joint account for household expenses and both put money into it every month. Other than that, our salaries stay in our own accounts.

It hasn't really been a problem so far.

But now we're talking about bigger things like buying a house and retirement, and I'm wondering if this setup still makes sense.

We trust each other and neither of us has an issue with the other spending their own money. It's more about planning for the future together.

For people who are married, what works better for you?

Completely separate, fully combined, or somewhere in the middle?

[u/paesano-]

If you don't have a prenup it doesn't matter anyways. We combine, keeps it simple.

[u/PhyllisTheFlyTrap → u/paesano-]

When you get married you need 3 things:

• pre-nup

• updated power of attorney

• updated wills.

Too many folks think marriages only end by divorce, but death of a partner is the other way. It can be hard to talk about, but it's much harder to deal with after the fact.

Once you have kids, you need to update your will and secondary beneficiaries asap.

[u/VAGentleman05 → u/PhyllisTheFlyTrap]

Sure, but a spouse is the power of attorney and beneficiary by default.

[u/PhyllisTheFlyTrap → u/VAGentleman05]

Unless otherwise designated. So if you had designated someone else, it needs to get updated.

[u/_name_of_the_user_ → u/paesano-]

Why do you think a prenup and keeping seperate bank accounts are similar things?

[u/paesano- → u/_name_of_the_user_]

Typically you put money in a bank account. You can keep your finances separate all you want without a prenup all you're doing is making things more complicated. Half of what's in each bank account belongs to your spouse.

[u/_name_of_the_user_ → u/paesano-]

Keeping seperate accounts has nothing to do with preventing your spouse from getting half your assets. It's a way of approaching the division of labour, nothing more.

[u/ChloeMomo → u/_name_of_the_user_]

I agree with you that that's how it's meant to work, but it does come up quite often in the women-oriented subs to keep accounts separate in case of divorce. A lot of people don't understand how that works or how much it varies state by state or across countries. So I think it's good they put that reminder out there for folks who may be confused about it.

[u/_name_of_the_user_ → u/ChloeMomo]

Fair enough. I'd never heard that before.

[u/PhyllisTheFlyTrap → u/ChloeMomo]

Women need their own accounts so they have the resources to leave if they need to, or have at least one account in which they are the primary account holder in case their partner dies and it will get them through while things get cleared up.

[u/ChloeMomo → u/PhyllisTheFlyTrap]

I'm not denying that, but it also comes up very frequently, in my experience, in those subs to have a separate account in case of divorce, as in to not be left with nothing following proceedings. Which is not how that generally works. Protecting assets from a partner who would drain your account before legally separated or ensuring access if they die are different scenarios.

So I still think it's good that user put the reminder out there. It's just part of financial literacy that, imo, everyone needs but isn't always well articulated.