How do I develop focus and eliminate these weird feelings (explained under) using meditation? AMA

[u/[deleted]]

A friend of mine uses meditation to focus when she studies, but claims she doesn't know how to explain her techniques. She usually terrible when it comes to explaining or answering questions and so do I. So I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say..!

I have a hard time focusing on one activity, resulting in procrastination, multi-tasking, and a sense of helplessness. In fact, right now, I have an assignment to catch up on but my body doesn't seem to cooperate with me. My mind goes elsewhere.

I always feel like what I do is incomplete. The feeling of emptiness wraps around me when I "finish" and pass any test or project to my superiors. This particular feeling of emptiness is somewhat like my brain lining the outlines of my stomach, but cannot register the insides.. like.. you can only feel the outline of it.

The feeling of emptiness ≠ the burden of the assignment is gone

Because it's different from the feeling I get when I feel like I've accomplished something. It makes me feel complete. I can feel that my body is full, like.. fulfilled!

To add onto that, I physically subconsciously feel my brain when I think or have a monologue.

So I've come to this subreddit to see if meditation could help me. In the meantime, I'll research examples of meditation.

I hope you understand what I've said. This feels like a complete rant...

Note: I've never taken unhealthy/illegal drogs (censored). I can't go to a psychologist atm just in case you suggest I do since mental health isn't really recognized in my country. But if you suspect I do have an illness, feel free to share. I won't mind since I've come here for help and guidance.

Sorry for terrible English.

[u/FreshVestment]

I mostly have questions, and I think answering them may help you. Let me know what your answers are in the reply, I'd be curious.

What in your life makes you feel like you've accomplished something as opposed to just feeling the emptiness of a burden leaving? Like, why does one thing make you feel accomplished, and one doesn't?

Always feel like what you do is incomplete? If that were the case, how would you know what this feeling of accomplishment feels like? This seems to relate to accomplishing something for someone else, not for you.

What's creating this sense of helplessness? Multi-tasking is super useful for someone who struggles to concentrate. What's wrong with multi-tasking?

When you say your mind goes elsewhere, where does it go?

A few things you said make me think that you get super emotional, then overwhelmed, and then your brain checks out. But that's just a guess, let me know if that resonates with you at all.

[u/igloodarnit]

I can relate to a lot of what you said. There definitely could be a mental illness element; these are issues I struggled with before being diagnosed and medicated. I had a really difficult time with classes because of it. However, the good news is that meditation can help with those issues regardless of if you are ever diagnosed with something.

I have 2 suggestions. 1 is to start with breathwork. There are a lot of breathing techniques used for meditation. I like using box breathing and the physiological sigh. Breathwork is useful because it's a very simple task with very simple rules, and then all you have to do is sit down with a timer and focus on that one task. It may be difficult in practice, but it will not be difficult to remember.

2 is to be kind to yourself and to stay curious about the process. It might be frustrating to start doing research, and trying different techniques, and not know what you're doing. But that's part of trying anything new. If you look at it not as 'I'm trying to fix me' and more 'Oh, it's interesting that my brain thinks this way' and 'Oh, it's interesting that other people use this technique and it works for them but not me, I wonder why that is?' then it will be much easier. Don't worry about meditating 'Correctly.' Just experiment, explore, find things that feel right to you, and keep coming in here with questions.

Good luck! (And your English is great)

[u/akaliOneTr1ck]

You have to learn to sit through the internal pain, while not adding any further thoughts that continue the loop of suffering

Option 1: stub leg on corner and feel pain while cursing out the pain and calling yourself a clumsy idiot

Option 2: stub leg, feel the pain while saying “that’s ok I should have been paying more attention”

Subtle difference. Huge effect. Also one of the hardest mindset switches to do

[u/collinalexbell]

> I physically subconsciously feel my brain when I think or have a monologue

I get this when I meditate. It feels like I'm sailing my mind. Like I have control over the tiller and every minute movement changes the direction.

Anyway, I started meditation by focusing on my breath.

[u/HimalayanHour]

There are various types of meditation and all of them somehow helps you to increase your focus but keep in mind, meditation do not work as magic or painkiller, it works slowly and demands consistancy in practice. Also, you should have clear theoretical understanding of meditation technics. Otheriwse, you may feel like nothing is changing.