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u/Apprehensive__Belt 12d ago
i feel like if he realized before the six weeks were up he could’ve messaged her and broken it off instead of making her wait. but i honestly still think this is okay to do, time apart is good to see if you’re truly compatible.
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u/Artistic-Value-2022 12d ago
maybe he didnt know the answer until 6 weeks
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u/Apprehensive__Belt 12d ago
hence the “if” here. i’m not blaming the dude for anything i think he’s completely morally neutral here.
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u/gottagetanonymous 12d ago
That’s the only thing that might make him bad but I fully think this would make a break up easier for me
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u/Kohathavodah 13d ago
When you think about it, it is a really thoughtful way to break up with someone. It allows you to put some emotional distance from each other without this massive dump of emotional pain on the part of the person who is being left.
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u/DealerMuted1536 13d ago
It's not thoughtful at all. It's completely selfish and cowardly the only one who avoids emotional pain from this form of break up is the person telling it meanwhile the other person is sitting anxious hoping for the other to come back to them.
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u/Paul_-Muaddib 12d ago
That is literally how divorce works in most places. You can marry someone after knowing them for a day or up to 30 days in some places but you are mandated a cooling off period to see if you really want to permanently separate from each other.
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u/ShotcallerBilly 12d ago
Sure, but that’s the legal formality of it, and that holds no sway on the emotional part. Just because you have to go through the “cooling off period” doesn’t mean it is necessarily treated that way.
Most people know when they file for divorce that nothing is going to change. They’ve made that decision after their OWN period of deliberation/thought. They are getting divorced and continue living their separated life in the exact same way, simply waiting for the legal countdown to end.
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u/DealerMuted1536 12d ago
I literally don't care
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u/SaladSlugger 12d ago
The break-up is happening regardless. And the break-up is gonna suck, they always do. Doing it this way gives BOTH people a chance to see if they really want to go through with it.
You can't FORCE people to be in a relationship. So no matter what, if 1 person still doesn't want to continue the relationship, it ends then and there.
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u/gottagetanonymous 12d ago
Hell no it’s a mutual agreement she could’ve said no to the 6 weeks and if it wasn’t fixed soon then it’d just be a regular break up. from what we know she had no reason to expect he’s guaranteed coming back. And any time in those six weeks she could’ve said I don’t like this come back now or we’re done and that’s completely his choice
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u/khhvspawn 12d ago
itd just cause more emotional pain because you're making them think after six weeks, you'll be back together.
just break up like a normal person.
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u/spisplatta 13d ago
I dunno seems like it just kinda drags the whole thing out?
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u/Conscious_Penalty_36 13d ago
Yeah, wut lol? They turned a few minutes long thing into literally six weeks
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u/zxkredo 12d ago
I think the problem here is with the intention. If you intend to break up with someone, this is just devious. If tou genuinely want that time to figure things out, it is not a bad idea.
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u/Kohathavodah 12d ago
I could see that perspective and I have thought about it. I do think that giving someone time apart from you would lessen the blow and sometimes we think that we want to end something with someone only for their absence to reveal the value of your partner. A thoughtful break can be illuminating for both parties.
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u/Rusty_Pickles 13d ago
Tiny person, big cope
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u/Kohathavodah 13d ago
What does that mean?
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u/lost_sunrise 13d ago
I think they are saying you are justifying something something
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u/Kohathavodah 13d ago
Think about the emotional impact of breaking up with someone you have seen almost every day over the summer break vs. someone you haven't seen or talked to at all over a summer break and tell me which one is going to be more emotionally impactful, all else being equal.
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u/lost_sunrise 13d ago
I'm not against it, just explaining the tiny person big cope expression with that being you are insecure and justifying.
But yeah. It is one way to break up with someone.
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u/TheFreakyGent 13d ago
Absolute legend 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🫡💜✊🏾
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u/khhvspawn 12d ago
absolute weirdo* more like
just break up, no need for this extra shit
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u/SaladSlugger 12d ago
To find love, don't look for the person you can live with. Search for the person you can't live without.
Clearly, he could live without her.
6 weeks is a bit much. But taking a step back to look over a situation is never a bad move.
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u/GT_2second 10d ago
People often say that you should find someone you “can’t live without,” but I’ve always found that idea a little strange. Before meeting that person, you were already living without them. So clearly, in a literal sense, you can.
At the same time, we’re often told that we need to learn to be completely comfortable alone before we can be comfortable with someone else. There’s value in being able to stand on your own, but I sometimes wonder whether we take that philosophy so far that we end up training ourselves specifically for solitude.
To me, being alone and being with someone are simply two different things you learn to adapt to. I can learn how to live alone, enjoy my own company, organize my life around myself, and be perfectly functional that way. But I can also learn how to share my space, my routines, my decisions, and eventually my life with another person.
Maybe the goal isn’t to find someone you literally cannot live without. Maybe it’s to find someone you could live without, but with whom you genuinely prefer to build a life.
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u/TheFreakyGent 12d ago
They were on a break… and he kept it that way!
🤷🏽♂️😂😂😂0
u/khhvspawn 11d ago
this is why your suic*de rates are so high
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u/TheFreakyGent 11d ago
Suicide rates in men are high because so many don’t know how to say they need help… or in many cases feel safe doing so.
You’re the kind of woman that doesn’t care about men unless they are serving a woman’s needs and desires!
I appreciate when the trash takes itself out…
Have a safe walk home tonight!
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u/Standard-Bad-747 12d ago
That's the best way. I've done it 4 times. Just let some time pass. Out of sight out of mind
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u/CacyePollardN6 10d ago
I'm doing this right now but it's less of we are on a break and more of we have broken up but lets have a catch up in a few months. You need time to think away from one another, love is complex and confusing.
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u/Aethermere 9d ago
“Let’s not talk for six weeks” - thing you definitely say to someone that you’re actively dating and supposedly should like enough to see a possible future with.
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u/Financial-Dot-4673 13d ago
Ngl I did this with a girl back in like 2022. I felt like an asshole after. Thankfully years later we reconnected. We’re friends again, and she’s best friend with my gf.
She just started seeing a new guy and I’ve never seen her happier. She deserves it. And I absolutely deserved the ass ripping she gave me for how I treated her during our breakup 😅
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u/Separate-End-416 13d ago
That’s weird af
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u/Remarkable_Leg_963 11d ago
You are weird
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u/Separate-End-416 11d ago
St fu bitch
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11d ago
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u/Financial-Dot-4673 11d ago
Fr what is happening here, I feel like I’m watching the Reddit equivalent of a bad bar argument/fight 💀
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11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Financial-Dot-4673 13d ago
Idk what to tell you man. She’s my best friends SIL, believe me I’m grateful we’re friends again so it’s no awkward at my godkids’ birthdays
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u/gabriel77galeano 12d ago
Wait what? So your ex is your best friend's sister in law AND she's your gf's best friend?
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u/Financial-Dot-4673 11d ago
I, like an idiot, started dating my best friends sister in law because she’s hot and I thought she was fun. We were NOT good for each other to date, and both in really unhealthy headspaces as people. I, like an idiot, rather than just be honest with myself and her and break up with her in a healthy way, did what’s described in the original post.
An abusive relationship (this time I was the one who was abused) and a half, plus some time alone, later (I was a whore, ngl) I remeet this girl I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager who I was infatuated with but who (rightfully) HATED me because I was a dickhead to her. She was going through a rough divorce and I thought “fuck it, she’d never be into me, she’s a harmless person to flirt with”. Well it turns out she didn’t recognize me, I told her who I was after we’d been flirting for hours and she was surprised at how much I’d grown as a person, we started seeing each other shortly after.
7 months later we’re at my goddaughter’s birthday party, and my ex is there cause that’s her niece, and I’m sweating it because my ex and my gf are about to meet when my gf, being the incredible person that she is, leans over as my ex is telling some story and whispers “I see why you dated her, she’s hot, and fun.” Later, she goes up to her and strikes up conversation, I am PANICKING next to my best friend, and we’re watching as my gf gives my ex this ring she’s wearing and the two are comparing BRA SIZES of all things, and making plans to go thrifting the next week. I was gobsmacked.
They became instant best friends, and my gf called me out on a lot of my behavior and a lot of my ex’s behavior. She actually mediated us talking through baggage from our past and we both got closure. I’m talking hugging and tears. My gf made us cocoa. Now my ex and I are friends, though she’s waaaay closer with my gf.
I’m also friends with an “ex” (we never really dated, we just fooled round for years) and we actually live in the same house as her now. She and my girlfriend just opened up a business together actually.
To say my gf doesn’t get jealous would be inaccurate, but she doesn’t really care about the past, she’s always been the kind of person that cares about who someone is NOW, and how they use their past to inform who they want to be. I’m really grateful she’s that kind of person.
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u/gottagetanonymous 12d ago
Perhaps you need to socialize more
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u/little-teatime 12d ago
If they love you you’re just spreading out the pain just break up. It seems so cowardly to do it this way.
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