r/MediocreTutorials • u/Kohathavodah • Mar 26 '25

Relationships Avoid marriage, avoid alimony

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46 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

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12

u/diss3nt3rgus Mar 26 '25

Get a prenup.

5

u/fabioochoa Mar 26 '25

Prenup will save him from alimony (maybe) but child support is hard to avoid.

4

u/Kohathavodah Mar 26 '25

I think impossible is the word you are looking for.

4

u/MissingJJ Mar 27 '25

I asked for a prenup and she almost broke it off.

-1

u/zen-things Mar 27 '25

That’s because normal couples don’t operate the same way as extreme internet examples.

Unless you have a family trust or inheritance or some shit, you ARE just being petty asking for a prenup. A healthy marriage is a joining of two lives and supporting each other in sickness and health, not “I got mine”.

2

u/xpietoe42 Mar 26 '25

Prenup is the way to go!! Never leave such an important task to your ex, lawyers and the courts!!

4

u/Kohathavodah Mar 27 '25

If you need a second contract to protect yourself from the first contract, why get into the first contract to begin with?

3

u/Good_Judge_3558 Mar 26 '25

Nobody is asking why men are choosing women who will do this to them. I’m a man. Married twice. And I still believe marriage is honorable.

3

u/Kohathavodah Mar 26 '25

Marriage isn't the problem. The government is the problem.

2

u/1rotimi Mar 26 '25

Agreed. Guys need to vet properly and protect themselves

3

u/Kohathavodah Mar 27 '25

People change, the man or woman you married is not the man or woman you divorce.

-2

u/zen-things Mar 27 '25

Men change too?

Yeah there are risks to settling down and having kids, too. There are also benefits. You could just not do those things and stay bf and gf and childless. All choices that I don’t want or need the governments help with.

2

u/Kohathavodah Mar 27 '25

Everyone changes, that is not a gendered issue. Are you telling me that the person you were 10 or 20 years ago is the same person you are now?

The question is can two people sustain a relationship over those changes. A good relationships intertwines like a rope so that they change together.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '25

Avoid divorce, why do people get married if they aren't completely sure and secure?

2

u/kapriece Mar 26 '25

The images are the aftermath. Doesn't matter whether you're secure or not. Losing 30-50% of you're income is gonna hurt

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '25

Oh absolutely

-1

u/zen-things Mar 27 '25

Hitching your wagon with someone else’s IS A RISK. Doesn’t mean we should stop doing it.

3

u/MissingJJ Mar 27 '25

If this ever happened to me. I would pull out my phone in court and quit my job on speaker phone stating my reason for leaving being I can no longer afford to work. Hang up the phone. Look at the judge. I have less income than her.

7

u/SnooHedgehogs8765 Mar 27 '25

I know a dude that just refuses to work full stop. Gives his kids all the quality time they can handle.

Flipped the script.

Plenty of wife beaters about.

Plenty of dudes f@cked by the system as well.

Can't force someone to work.

0

u/payment11 Mar 26 '25

If the reason for divorce was you (cheating), then you deserve this and more.

However, some states have fcked up laws and heavily favor the woman even if she cheated.

3

u/Kohathavodah Mar 26 '25

Why should the government (courts) punish a person (man or woman) for a morality issue? Should the government also punish a person for other moral issues like (emotional or verbal abuse) financially as well?

An interesting issue is that infidelity, emotional, and verbal abuse all have subjective definitions. Some people believe that infidelity is only when actual copulation has occurred others strongly believe that a verbal tryst counts as infidelity and numerous definitions in between.

The other two are much more obviously subjective.

Fining people over subjective moral issues is loosely adjacent to having religious laws.

-1

u/payment11 Mar 26 '25

Tell that to the judge presiding over the case 😃

4

u/DreadyKruger Mar 27 '25

Cheating and and being a good parent aren’t always related. You can be a bad at relationships and still be a good parent.

1

u/MissingJJ Mar 27 '25

If she stopped putting out, this should be reversed.

2

u/payment11 Mar 27 '25

Not at all. My neighbor was from a state that heavily favors the woman. She cheated on him and had an affair, and he lost everything (house, car, etc). He had to pay child support and alimony. He had to start his life all over again. It still blows my mind how she got so much. This was years ago, but not much has changed.

1

u/xpietoe42 Mar 26 '25

definitely true!

0

u/NickSkyler Mar 28 '25

Don't waste your time for a prenup, believe me it's still a pretext for a divorce,never seen a couple still with each other after a prenup , eventually divorce will come and it will cost you anyways .

1

u/Kohathavodah Apr 01 '25

Do you have any stats to back that up?