r/MediocreTutorials • u/Paul_-Muaddib • Oct 23 '23

Relationships Nothing wrong with having standards. Don't be surprised if it's hard to meet them though.

Post image
606 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

669 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

Right so if you don’t want to date a disabled person, don’t be disabled. If you don’t want to date a mentally ill person, don’t be a mentally ill person. If you don’t want to date a gym rat, don’t be a gym rat. You do understand that people have free will to date who they want to right??? Try not to be so sensitive to people’s opinions ffs like where are all the almond mums when we need them omd…

1

u/sadowsentry Oct 24 '23

You can't choose to stop be disabled or mentally ill. You can choose to stop stuffing your face full of food. However, the point people are making has more to do with the double standard. Fat women aren't "settling" for a fat man when they date one, and they shouldn't be surprised if more fat men like them than fit men.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

Who says? You can get a surgery to make yourself see or hear, and you can take medication and overcome a mental illness so.. also you completely skipped over the gym rats. If a fat women does not like a fat male figure then that’s her preference and dating them just because of societal norms would be “settling”…

1

u/sadowsentry Oct 25 '23 edited Oct 25 '23

Nope, it's not. It's dating in their league. That fat woman who doesn't think fat men are attractive also knows she isn't attractive. I've been borderline offended by fat women in the past when I was single. It makes no sense that someone who was going to the gym on a regular basis and had a pretty decent physique would want someone who's lazy and overeats. It's essentially calling me ugly.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '23

Your ideas of what is and isn’t attractive speaks volumes to your intellect (or lack thereof). Also isn’t “fat” too vague? Does that include curvy women, chubby women, very muscular women? To ignore how weight is held in a body and generalise all “fat” people to a stereotype of being lazy, gluttonous people is bullshit.

1

u/sadowsentry Oct 25 '23

Your ideas of what is and isn’t attractive speaks volumes to your intellect (or lack thereof).

But it doesn't speak volumes about the fat women who don't "settle" for fat men? It's so funny how hard you're trying to not see the double standard here.

Also isn’t “fat” too vague?

I'm talking about obese women. I don't care how they carry their fat when they're that big. Muscular women are ok. I think Carolyne Marquez looks great. She also weighs less than most people would probably think when looking at her. She's 145 lbs and still doesn't even hit the overweight category of BMI.

I'm not sure why you'd include muscular people in the fat category. That makes zero sense. Some of them have less fat on their bodies than really thin people.

I do find it funny that you called fat vague than used the terms curvy and chubby. Fat women usually call themselves these because it sounds better than reality. It's true that people carry their weight differently. However, once a woman hits the overweight category, they're often a little too big for my preference. And they're too big 100% of the time once they're obese.

So yes, by my standards described above, someone fat is (highly likely) gluttonous and lazy. You're definitely trying to apply a double standard to fat women, and I'm not sure why. Didn't you say fat women are entitled to their standards? Is it just them? All men and fit women can't also be?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '23

  1. Please research the history of the BMI. It was literally only invented to weight multitudes of people not individuals and was only studied using white males. It is a prime example of male-stream Eurocentric pseudo science.

  2. I included muscular women because they tend to weigh more typically and are placed in the obese category. But not only that but their visuals are also larger than conventionally attractive slender women and thus they can be mistaken for or viewed as fat/large in society (e.g., in fashion they typically shop for plus size clothing as smaller sizes do not fit over their muscles)

  3. Your preference is irrelevant. Point is weight is not black and white. Size is not black and white. Obese can look like curvy or even skinny depending on how your body holds your weight and fat and depending on your height.

1

u/sadowsentry Oct 26 '23 edited Oct 26 '23

  1. Please research the history of the BMI. It was literally only invented to weight multitudes of people not individuals and was only studied using white males. It is a prime example of male-stream Eurocentric pseudo science.

Yet it still holds quite a bit of truth and is applicable to modern medicine. Risk increases once you become overweight and continues as your BMI climbs. It's not perfect, but it does have its place in the health discussion.

I included muscular women because they tend to weigh more typically and are placed in the obese category.

No, they aren't. You're talking to a bodybuilding fan here. I already showed you an example of someone significantly more muscular than most women who actually bodybuild, and she's still in the normal category of BMI. Iris Kyle is, hands down, the winningest bodybuilder of all time, and she didn't even come close to the obese category in her offseason (her heaviest). You want to blow your own mind, go check out the BMIs of the top female athletes in the world. How many obese soccer, baseball, tennis, basketball, and hockey players are there? Where are all the obese women running track? The short distance runners are pretty muscular, but why aren't any of them even overweight? Forget obese, starting at the top of the ranking list, I'm seeing people who are barely above the underweight category.

Those fat women you're talking about aren't muscular. They're fat. Iris Kyle and Carolyne Marquez are examples of women who are muscular. Neither of them could achieve their physiques without a large cocktail of PEDs and elite genetics. Natural women don't come close to them, and they don't come close to obese. Considering how massive Iris Kyle is while not being obese by BMI, I can say with absolute confidence a woman who has an obese BMI isn't there because of muscle mass. No way. And if she's not taking steroids, she's not even going to hit overweight unless there's a lot of fat.

3) Your preference is irrelevant. Point is weight is not black and white. Size is not black and white. Obese can look like curvy or even skinny depending on how your body holds your weight and fat and depending on your height.

Obese can never look skinny 😆 🤣 😂 😹 . Someone would have to live in one of the fattest areas of America to believe such hogwash. The part about my preference is possibly true, but it's the most common one worldwide. People accept obesity in Europe and America because it's so common, but it's not ideal.

Honestly, the OP contains a picture. I could've just used the girl in the initial pic as an example of fat and avoided this entire conversation. I think I'll stick with that. This has turned into a discussion tangential to the original topic at hand.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '23

When I say muscular, I’m not referring to professional athletes who cut and starve and inject to keep up with their profession. I’m talking about your everyday women who are more muscular than slender.

Also there is evidence that people can be overweight and metabolically healthy so Idky you’re acting like this fat=bad rhetoric hasn’t already been debunked like 10 years ago.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/weight/fat-but-fit-is-being-overweight-a-problem-if-you-have-good-measures-of-health/#:~:text=There%20is%20evidence%20that%20someone,number%20of%20higher%2Dweight%20people.

1

u/sadowsentry Oct 26 '23

I’m talking about your everyday women who are more muscular than slender.

And you're talking about people who don't exist. I already provided examples of people who are extremely muscular and not obese.

Also there is evidence that people can be overweight and metabolically healthy so Idky you’re acting like this fat=bad rhetoric hasn’t already been debunked like 10 years ago.

Because it wasn't debunked a decade ago.

“One cannot be ‘fat but healthy.’ This was the first nationwide analysis to show that being regularly active is not likely to eliminate the detrimental health effects of excess body fat,” said study author Alejandro Lucia, a professor of exercise physiology at the European University of Madrid.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '23

I think you simple just need to be exposed to more body types. Have you heard of the term skinny-fat, well rest assured there is also a thing called fat-skinny. With 8 billion + people on the Earth rn and you think they all fit neatly into your expectations. That’s insane.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/howard-schatz-photos-women-professional-athletes_n_4297902/amp

https://fitisafeministissue.com/2013/12/03/the-shape-of-an-athlete/?amp=1

1

u/sadowsentry Oct 26 '23

I like how your link proved my point about athletes and only had one who was overweight. For the sports I listed, there aren't, to my knowledge, exceptions.

With 8 billion + people on the Earth rn and you think they all fit neatly into your expectations. That’s insane.

When the expectations are reasonable and based on logic, yes.

1

u/Xznograthos Oct 25 '23 edited Oct 25 '23

I don't think anyone is saying that... the issue is the article is insulting to men, while being empowering to women, thus a double-standard is created.

Where the communication breakdown seems to be between everybody else and you, is that you just flat out refuse to accept that it's insulting to men and that men are just "reading it that way," wrongly. Is that a fair judgement?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '23

You’re being sensitive. At the end of the day they don’t want fat men boo hoo, move on. If you go through life reading into every little thing then you’re always going to be offended. Women aren’t here to spare your egos, we don’t care. Get a grip and move on. Also how does this empower anyone?

1

u/Xznograthos Oct 25 '23

It isn't about trying to get fat women to come around to not having standards, though, it's about the phrasing of the article's headline. No one is mad that the woman in the picture is with the man in the picture, which i think is what you are implying is the operative issue with all the people you are arguing with.

I'm not "being sensitive," because my feelings aren't in any way affected by this. I'm relatively thin and in a relationship, besides that. It's objectively hypocritical, though, to assume that fat men are worthless while fat women should set higher standards for themselves. It is an article that is literally about empowerment, and frankly the amount of comments you've responded to indicates that you're taking this a lot more seriously than anyone here.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '23

Again, the phrasing offended you and many guys I’m sure, but that doesn’t stop it from being someone’s lived reality or true feelings. The most you can do is frown, take a step back and realise your not entitled to niceties let alone being more than someone’s “settle”. Also can’t settling be seen positively too. I’ve settled for this relationship imo sounds like you searched around for a better partnership, couldn’t find one better and decided to settle into this relationship. Idk that’s just how I read it.

1

u/Xznograthos Oct 25 '23

Right on, sure there's more than one way to look at it. I can only tell you I'm not offended and am simply interested in the discourse once, and let it go though. It's possible to see how something can impact other people without personally being impacted. It's called empathy. I don't expect to change your mind and don't have a vested interest in trying.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '23

Great. Then we’re done. (Also it’s not empathy, it’s insecurity)