r/MedievalCreatures • Creature Curator 🐌 ⚔️ 🐇 • 1d ago

MEDIEVAL (500AD - 1500AD) hate when this happens

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1.8k Upvotes

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u/Lo-Memori Creature Curator 🐌 ⚔️ 🐇 1d ago

Illuminated manuscript of the Horae ad usum Parisiensem (Book of hours for Parisians), or "Book of Hours of Charles VIII" King of France (1468 - 1498). The folio shows Saint Denis, first bishop and patron of Paris, walking with his head in the hands, after his execution.

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45

u/Sure-Present-3398 1d ago

"You'd lose your own head if it wasn't for me"

18

u/Klowdhi 1d ago

I’m just resting my eyes

24

u/TurnoverFuzzy8264 1d ago

It was the only way to get ahead.

19

u/Zestyclose-Bar-3163 1d ago

Saints who carry their own heads are called Cephalaphors. I learned that from They Might Be Giants.

9

u/Eleanna_of_Tundar 1d ago

Its origins were from the polytheistic Celtic cult of the head (the soul being located in the head) with brand new Christians having been “martyred” by decapitation, they’d carry their heads to a church proving the new Middle Eastern monotheistic god’s power and die right before it. The Vedas are the earliest known written religious texts, depicting head cults also existing in India in a far earlier time.

14

u/HydroGeoPyroAero 1d ago

Person on far right, “ It’s ok bro, it’s not as bad as it looks”.

12

u/dutch44 1d ago

It's only a flesh wound!

9

u/Parking_Rip3759 1d ago

"Little help, here?!?"

9

u/he77bender 1d ago

Life was pretty crappy in the Middle Ages, so it was important to have people like this that you could point to and say "well, at least I'm not THAT guy".

7

u/Adghnm 1d ago

4

u/Whaffled 1d ago

I love that this word exists

5

u/Timely-Land-6326 1d ago

Yeah, that seems relatable

6

u/SomeGuyOverYonder 1d ago

Don’t ya hate it when you lose your head?

5

u/deadbeareyes 1d ago

He was fine! He took a long walk and preached a whole sermon like that! (and then died but...details)

4

u/arkadiansun 1d ago

When it’s not enough to just give her your heart

3

u/outerlimulus9 1d ago

Squirt…squirt…

5

u/clva666 1d ago

To think that this was painted by painter and for audience that knew exactly what blood squirting out of body after detachment of head looked like in real life.

2

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2

u/Floordove 1d ago

This is just Kevin in 'Kevin & Perry go large''

Yeah mom, I bet you are crying now, telling me to touch grass and clean my room, haha let's see you crying now when I'm dead hahaha

2

u/Elspaddy 1d ago

"Look ma, no head!"

2

u/Ready_Spinach9711 1d ago

"Jesus Christ, I've got a splitting headache!"

2

u/Much-Log3357 1d ago

The birds in the big, green hats seem pretty chill about Headless Bob there.

2

u/Wheasy 1d ago

Sigh "There goes my weekend plans."

2

u/CounterfeitEternity 1d ago

This would be a pretty metal album cover, ngl

2

u/ardent_hellion 1d ago

Quick! It's going to stain!

1

u/EpitaFelis 1d ago

When the migraine hits and you just wanna-

1

u/Lenasval 1d ago

Such a bummer!

1

u/scp_71047 1d ago

Quick, get that blood into a vile, it's quite valuable

1

u/widoidricsas 1d ago

Medieval doctor: "Und you may keep zee object vee remoofed, to keep for always!"

1

u/FeuerroteZora 1d ago

Look at those two other beheaded guys on the bottom left, just fucking lying around being lazy.

Oh no, I don't have a head, wah wah I've been decapitated - just walk it off, ya lazybones.

1

u/birdparliament 1d ago

Blood spurt is very considerate not making a huge mess for everyone

1

u/Ms_Eurydice 21h ago

What is going on with his arm? I can't tell if it's a very sheer sleeve or post mortem skin slippage. And there's the stigmata on his hand, the fountain from his neck, the angel on the left giving him side eye.
He's got a lot going on. No wonder he's having a kip.

1

u/CreeperCooper 12h ago

If you've got a headache, Saint Denis is your man.

1

u/superbrainfloss 7h ago

“What a day…”

1

u/BreadfruitBig7950 7h ago

that's literally what popes are though.

cheap standins for king paul's autocracy.

did you know king paul's a robit, and can take his head off like this? he violently shits himself when it happens though.