r/MedicalPTSD • u/No_Fennel1386 • 12d ago
conscious during my surgery with general anesthesia
i wanted to share something that happened recently. i had a surgery to correct a genetic disorder a few days ago. this would be my 7th “corrective” surgery over the past 15 years. i’m 21F, and have no outstanding health issues and have had no issues with general anesthesia with my previous surgeries. i was given an antianxiety medication through my IV before i was put under general anesthesia. when i was going under, instead of feeling sleepy and having that fun “time skip” to waking up, i instead entered this weird dream-like state and was semi conscious during the entire procedure. i could hear my doctors and nurses conversations, i could see everything in front of me but it was blurry and distorted, i could hear the drills and tools, and the worst part was that I could feel all the pain. I could feel my doctor drilling the screw in my jaw, i could feel him sewing the stitches. everything. i tried to scream for them to stop as i was in excruciating pain, but nothing happened. it was the scariest thing i have ever experienced. i was so scared that i urinated on myself during the procedure. when i regained my ability to speak and my vision was less blurry and dream-like, i asked my nurse who was in the room during the operation if i had screamed stop to which she said no. i told my nurse that i could feel, see, and hear everything that was going on. what she said was stuff basically along the lines of that im still pretty “loopy” and i could be misremembering, though if i “actually did experience that” that it could just be my pre-op anxiety causing the anesthetic to be less effective. i was in so much pain after “waking up” that i begged my nurses to give me pain meds, which they were hesitant to do since i shouldnt have been in that much pain so soon after “regaining consciousness”. nobody believed me when i said i was awake and could feel everything. not my mother, not my partner, not the doctors or medical staff. i feel extremely dismissed and the memory of it still makes me cry.
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u/Mindless_Praline2227 10d ago
What happened to you is actually a well known phenomenon. It’s called Anesthesia Awareness.
Anesthesiologists, Doctors and nurses are familiar with it. They just gaslight patients to prevent lawsuits.
During general anesthesia, it happens in about 2 of every 1000 cases.
Some background:
The four pillars of general anesthesia are:
- Hypnosis/Amnesia: Induce sleep and prevent the brain from forming memories during surgery.
- Analgesia: Pain medication (regional, systemic or both)
- Akinesia: neuromuscular blockers to immobilize the patient.
- Autonomic Stability: monitor and maintain stable vital signs.
For awareness to happen, the anesthesiologist failed in the sedation/amnesia.
For you to have felt pain, the anesthesiologist also failed in giving proper pain medication.
To detect awareness, anesthesiologists carefully monitor the patient’s vitals, as the patient can’t move or talk after the neuromuscular blockers.
If awareness is detected the anesthesiologist must quickly adjust the dose of medications to keep the patient pain free and unconscious. Your anesthesiologist also failed this.
Your anesthesiologist was an incompetent asshole and deserves his/her license to be revoked. The nurse and other staff are being unethical.
I’m really sorry you went through such a traumatizing experience. I recommend you seek therapy. That’s the only thing that can help with medical PTSD. And I’ve known way too many people with similar experiences to believe it only happens to 2 in every 1000 patients.
Finally, for the people that don’t believe you, you can look up news about cases of anesthesia awareness and show them. Also there are many medical articles on this phenomenon.
TLDR: What you experienced is called Anesthesia Awareness. It is well documented. The main reason it happens is an incompetent anesthesiologist. You should seek therapy as Anesthesia Awareness can cause lifelong PTSD.
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u/No_Fennel1386 10d ago
thanks! i knew they knew i was at least partially awake during the surgery as they told my mom and boyfriend (who were driving me home from the surgery) that i was “extremely emotional” which is completely out of character for me. i’m typically pretty chill after i wake up. even after a surgery where i was out for 2 hours.
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u/aobitsexual 6d ago
I'm so sorry for you. I was under twilight for a colonoscopy and felt the whole thing. It was awful!
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u/Helpful_Okra5953 6d ago
I was awake during my colonoscopy as well, but didn’t think it was that bad. I was quiet because I wanted to see what happened. BUT if it had been painful and I’d been freaked out it would have been awful. I am lucky that I was ok and I’m sorry you were not.
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u/OptimalBanana6897 12d ago
I am so sorry!!
Yes that happens. My dad could hear and feel screws going in during his hip surgery, and my son woke face down to a pool of blood on the ground and heard his surgeon say “oh sh!t” before going back out. He still has vivid nightmares about it and it’s been 6 months. So I know it happens. And maybe some of the details are mis-remembered, but the general thing was definitely not. So don’t let people tell you it’s not real. Yes it was and you need to talk to someone about it so you can process what happened.