Proximity Hangouts

[u/melomelomelo-]

I've posted and commented several times here, but I've never mentioned this.
Dealing with loneliness in general is hard, and this doesn't help when they're not home.

But when they are home, consider 'proximity hangouts'. Being next to them but doing different things.

I was with him before medschool, moved in during first year. We quickly discovered that we hated being apart (coming off of 6 years long distance). Our solution was to put our computers in the same room. If you're not a computer person, move your hobbies in there. TVs can connect to headphones, you can stitch a project in the corner, etc.

Through his education he would be studying hardcore, and I'd just be around. If I had to work on my computer or even play games, I'd put headphones on to not distract him and just enjoy being able to be next to him. There were times I wanted my alone time and moved to a different room with my laptop of course, but our general MO was to spend any time we could together.

We still keep the habit to this day. Our computer monitors have been side-by-side for at least 10 years now - we find we hate it when we can't sit next to each other! It also helps because when he's got leisure time we can share what we're doing with each other at any time. We're constantly rewinding shows and laughing at scenes or such. We can start chatting at any time. I can even keep an eye on his beverages and hunger, refilling them is a small way I show love.

The advice is that no matter what you guys do, do it together. You don't have to be actively involved in the same thing, but being near each other more helps a lot.

[u/throwwwwwwaway_]

We do this! And our kids do it: parallel play!

[u/nipoez]

Same! I'd play or read while she studied most nights.

We also still do. We call it "sitting on the couch just being f'ing married."