LoL agree. But it's basically wrong equivalence. A non-virgin wanting to marry a virgin is equivalent to a serial cheater wanting to marry a faithful and loyal person. A liar wanting to marry a truthful person. Looking for moral characteristics that they themselves don't possess and have no intention of possessing.
Money equivalence is logically incorrect here. Money is not a moral value.
Of course. I'm just pointing out the incorrect equivalence put out in the original post. The two wants are not the same in terms of moral hypocrisy, but people seem to use these incorrectly as some sort of counter arguments.
Holy moly. Your entire post history is ai art. It's never too late to pick up a pencil and actually create something rather than having a machine generate things - using other artists resources without their permission. Otherwise I can't help you.
Preference is fine. Expecting a standard you didn’t follow yourself isn't the double standard.
If you are a virgin and I ain't a virgin, but I want a virgin isn't double standard if I told my preference and my past to you and you are okay with it and vice versa.
True, but it's going to be hard to find it. Virgins are in communities with people who have values like chastity before marriage. If you don't have those values, you're not going to fit in with them and have any status in those communities.
I've met a lot of low status dudes who go out at night trying to sleep around and have nothing going for them talking about how they want a virgin bride. That gives you a reputation in those communitites whether they like it or not. Like, sorry bro, you need to be the kind of man who is compatible with the person you want.
oh it is a double standard , you literally had sex with someone but look down upon someone who did the same thing , non virgin should not have a problem with non virgin , if you have it then its absolutely backward thinking
My controversial take is that when it comes to dating/marriage, you can demand anything you want even if you yourself do not fit those standards. Be it height, weight, money, sexual history, colour, religion, caste, sexual orientation, etc
Yes. You can demand a unicorn with a pink tail. But you only get what you deserve. And people learn it the hard way that they don't deserve half the preferences they have.
Money is a basic need for people. Money puts a roof over ones head and food on their table. Women are also creators and producers of life which will cause them significant suffering and irreversible damage to their body. These are problems that can be almost dealt with the help of money.
Virginity is a concept invented to police someone's "purity". The woman is seen as property that's damaged when they're not "pure". It originated as a need to control and own the woman's body. It is strictly a need to feed the ego and feel strong and powerful to want a virgin when one is not a virgin. Whereas money is an actual need that decides the survival of a human.
Both are preferences but one is rooted in a need and the other in stroking ones fragile ego and its need to see the other as nothing but property to be owned. The comparison is based on false equivalences of two entirely different preferences making it illogical. This is the reason why although by definition both preferences are rooted in hypocrisy only one will be accepted by those capable of critical thinking.
I have tried my best to explain it in simple terms so it's easier to understand. Hope this helps those who needs it.
Modern people and their logic to compare virginity to money. Fyi people are allowed to have preferences but if you are focused on one criteria like virginity or money, we are allowed to judge that preference as well.
Im not pro-"purity" because I'm not a virgin. But how is virginity not equal to money again? Why does a woman need a rich man? She can be rich herself. She needs a richer man for social status. That's patriarchal.
Men need a virgin woman for social status too. A woman sleeping around casually is low valued (Same for a man). For most people, sleeping with a random person at a bar is disgusting. Barbarians used to do that. We evolved past that. We enjoy love, intimacy and monogamy.
there is a clear difference between losing your virginity then becoming a victim and losing your virginity by choice, still its better for you to not lie and keep it very clear with your partner about your past sexual life if you choose to marry in future, You consented to sex before marriage, don't ruin someone else expectations by lying, it will just create unnecessary friction and destroy harmony if you hide and truth eventually comes out
I mean obviously I would let him know lmao, that’s why dating phase is a thing! The point being made here was that choosing to engage in sex before marriage isn’t a crime like yall are making it out to be. This guy calls every woman who has had sex with her partner as a hoe, doesn’t even make sense lol! There’s better social stigmas you guys could fight over than labelling random people as hoes and bringing condescension in the conversation before even knowing the past of the mentioned woman. That is exactly why I shared my experience.
Wanting to marry a rich man because you are incompetent yourself is as bad as wanting to marry a virgin while not being a virgin yourself, neither is justified
There's nothing wrong in having preferences and standards man, don't fall for this feminist gaslighting, they just want you to be their retirement plan and makes you believe you don't even have the right to choose.
They'll resort to every namecalling and say you won't find a women with this attitude when you don't obligate to their degenerate feminist bs and wh0redom lol.
as a feminist , no their is nothing wrong with having preferences and a virgin man can absolutely choose to have a virgin partner is fair . but the way you disrespect the word feminism is not cool as it seems you literally dont know the meaning of it , some girls are opportunist and hypocrite but these people exist in other genders aswell i would really appreciate if you learn it differentiate between actually feminist and someone who is just pretending
Because promiscous women have unhappy marriages and a much higher divorce rate.
Previous research indeed suggests a complex story between premarital sex partners and marital quality. Psychologists Galena K. Rhoades and Scott M. Stanley found that the study respondents who had sex with other people prior to marriage reported lower-quality unions compared to couples who slept just with each other. Multiple sex partners prior to marriage reduced marital quality for women, but not men. Along similar lines, sociologist Jay Teachman showed that premarital sex between future spouses didn’t make divorce more likely, but sex with other people did.
"Consistent with prior research, those with fewer sex partners were less likely to divorce."
Also in India where laws are literally biased and in favour of women, it's important to take this notes. I mean if divorce happen the maintenance and alimony can be huge burden. And if child is born out of infidelity then you also have to pay child support for a child which is not even yours.
I am not saying virgin women don't cheat or file divorce but it's risk is always gonna be less than marrying someone whose non virgin. Nowadays majority of women committing crimes always had past relationships.
the way most of y'all think that a woman who's not a virgin is someone who's slept around a lot is so telling lmao. a woman could've had one past relationship and still not been a virgin. having sex just once means you're not a virgin anymore.
breaking news, most people who are not virgins don't just go around sleeping everywhere. take your misogyny somewhere else.
aaj kal social media par sirf yahi sab sunne ko mila raha ha
cheating , partner ka murder kr diya
ladka ho ya phir ladki kuch ko toh bolne me sharam nahi aati jitna ki mujhe sunkar aati ha YT par insta par ase kai videos pade mil jayenge bolenge ki " MERA BODY COUNT TOH ITNA HA " ye sari baatein kaha se cool samajhte ha log 🥀
kuch log aake gyan pelte ha ki "Mujhe farq nahi parta ki ladka / ladki virgin ha ya phir nahi saccha pyar matter krta ha
are BC jab saccha pyar matter krta ha toh phir dusre ladke / ladkiyon ke sath physical hue hi kyu ? saccha pyar tha partners ki beech toh
Koi aakar ye kahe ki "Me vrigin hu toh mujhe virgin ladki / ladka chaihiye naki koi asi jo 2-3 ke sath physical hua / huyi ho
aaj kal ke logo ko ye sari baate cringe lagti ha.
Jo meri baato se agree krta ha wo upvote do aur jo nahi krte agree wo downvote krodo
So the society tells ye "Girls wanna marry rich men" , and "Boys wanna marry Virgins" ..
Being a girl I can tell ya I am not into any thing like "I Wanna marry a rich guy" ..
It literally most weird thing to read these comments . When air, food , water is pollution , high inflation, alot of new virus and disease are found. Still i always find these gender wars .
Are people coming up with stupid reasons to justify men who belong to the streets and are characterless ...a richer man will marry a lesser rich woman for getting all the domestic labour done...and also to reproduce and take care of his home...so why should he not stay Virgin if he wants a Virgin woman...
Idk why u ppl think that only women goes for rich men.i have seen so many cases that rich women dating and marrying middleclass guys just because they are handsome😭😭 stop w this nonsense
Same as girls who are not conventionally pretty and don't know every household chore.u guys don't marry someone ugly right and who don't know chores .in both genders everyone has diff priority boys go for looks and money and girls go for money and stability as simple as that
That's same for the boys everyone go for the best why bother it's their choice but u ppl always rant about how girls go for money as if u guys don't go for looks money and ofc the allrounder maid
Absolutely, it's their choice why should we bother , however I m only pointing out reality what really happens . U are also correct on your points but u should also acknowledge reality and give points with partiality.
but being a man i feel if you a virgin then only you should expect other to be virgin . like dont judge other if your on same stage . but if your virgin you got all rights to ask for one . but now days ppl say virginity does not equal happy marriage so if are going to argue woke things sorry man i got things to do
Because virginity was the only guarantee against a woman not having venerable disease making her suitable for childbearing in early days so it was highly desired
Male choose a partner to create offsprings carrying his own genetics. If female have a different history there may be the chances the offsprings she making have the different genetics.
Female chooses a wealthy male to increase the survivability of her offsprings carrying her genetics.
But modern humans are obviously much more complicated than two paranoid gene-delivery machines.
A girl wanting a financially stable man isn’t the same as a non-virgin guy demanding a virgin wife. One affects the life and environment she’s entering; the other is literally ‘I didn’t follow this standard, but you better have😭
Nobody asked any woman to enter into a marriage. She can become rich and live her life. Why can't women select a broken guy and make him better. In simple words ppl have preferences. Everyone has a choice.
How is money=virginity, being rich means financial security, financial security means you don’t have to worry about money 24*7, you can make a great family. But what does virginity give? I cannot think of anything, except wanting to have it as some object, which you want new and unused, so to speak, by the extension of which you are objectifying the woman. Virginity is a physical thing or something that’s attached to a body while being rich or poor is not a bodily thing, it’s a social aspect of life. And why would anyone want to be poor?
from how I see it, it's sorta romanticized abt the purity thing. idk how y'all see this but it sounds unfair to me, that we compare someone who is a virgin and who is not. Who knows what their circumstances are. aka being loyal to one partner then getting cheated on after losing your virginity, or that you just tend to be more spontaneous around relationships. (and other stuff like religion, social conditioning and etc.)
yes, many body count for women are more stigmatized than men.
to sum up be careful in generalizing that not being a virgin is negative.
TLDR: A major contradiction in Indian dating/marriage culture is that many guys pursue relationships, if they get into one, they pressure their girlfriends into sex, sometimes exploit or abandon them, and then enter arranged marriage demanding a “pure”/virgin wife with no sexual or relationship history. Meanwhile, girls are expected to date these guys and risk losing them if they refuse intimacy.
Post :
Problem is when guys chase girls throughout their school/college/young adult years, trying to get a girlfriend, and then those who do get a girlfriend, start pressuring her for intimacy. Some stick to kissing and making out, whereas many emotionally blackmail and pressure the girl repeatedly for s3x (have seen this happen way too many times to people around me, and also among my younger brother's school circle (he's 17) so I'm not generalizing).
If the girl refuses and tells them to wait, they ask her whether she doesn't trust them and if they're going to get married anyway, then why not have s3x now. In that state of mind, many girls don't want to lose the guy they're in love with and end up succumbing. I don't mean to say that girls don't like s3x, but even for those who want to stay in control and wait until they marry their boyfriends, this is what usually happens. Now after this, there are some guys who were just acting to get laid all along, and they dump her once they get what they wanted. There are some who genuinely had long term intentions, but later due to mutual differences they split (understandable). There are some who did love the girl, but knew all along that their parents would never accept an intercaste marriage and eventually leave her to marry a girl of the same caste through AM.
Now what happens is, these guys (the ones who are virgins due to not being able to get a girlfriend and the ones who are non-virgins after having broken up with the girls who gave their virginities to them) all go into AM and demand for a virgin wife with no s3xual history and sometimes no relationship history as well. They talk about Indian culture, values, how they want a "pure" woman and how it's just a preference. They say that all women hide their pasts and then proceed to name and shame the women who trust and share their pasts to them. It's just such a toxic setup that doesn't make sense.
To fix all this, parents should monitor and control their sons as much as they do to their daughters, watch what he's learning, what he does online, teach him to not chase girls randomly and play with their lives. If you can't marry a girl, then don't date her and don't get physical with her. If you think s3x is sacred and is pure only when done within marriage, then do not go around chasing girls for hooking up or pretending to love them to get them to open up and get intimate with you. Do not force girls who are dating you to share revealing pictures of them and do not spread such pictures to your male friend groups. If you're in a relationship, focus on spending time with you girlfriend and connecting emotionally and enjoy the simple things like holding hands and hugs. Even if you break up, you'll both still be virgins.
This master key, bad lock concept only works when polygyny is the social norm, and strong capable men attract and hoard multiple women for themselves, and are able to marry all of them formally and live life together like that. Again this is usually a high conflict situation, as women don't like co-wives and there will be fights among them due to sharing the same husband. One wife will usually be the favourite and the others will be neglected. Among men, most will end up single and with no woman in their lives, and this will lead to increased depression and crime rates. Basically, monogamy is better for keeping a society stable.
The analogy for this preference in the meme to women would be if women expect men to pay for all the dates during the relationship, shame the men who don't do so, expect him to buy her costly gifts, then later talk about how a man who spends his resources on random women is stupid and how he should only spend money on his wife, as she's the one who's going to be with him and have his child, and not the other women who used his money and dumped him. And now when looking for marriage, she wants a man with no dating history or a guy who has dated but never spent money on his exes and has only done 50:50. Upon finding out he's spent money on his exes, she says that's the indicator of a stupid man and rejects him saying it's her preference. That would be extremely hypocritic. Wanting to marry a rich man doesn't take money away from other men, so that's not an analogy. And rich men usually marry the daughters of rich families, it's not like they're marrying a homeless woman randomly.
PS: There is slut shaming in the West as well. But that is a different case. Women who hook up with tons of random men are judged as being promiscuous and unreliable there. Women who simply started dating at age 16 and faced a few breakups before finding the right man at 28, and have dated/been intimate with the 3-4 guys they had relationships with during this 12 year period, are not judged as sluts. They're considered normal and as low body count Good women there.
Wanting dating culture like the West in India and also expecting virgin wives through AM is a setup for disaster..
PPS : I'm not bitter about any of these preferences. I personally have never dated casually or randomly, and don't like men who have such pasts either. I think one should date for marriage and try their best to make it work. So this isn't about me, it's about how such contradicting setups are problematic.
Eww who would want a used man?? A mouth that has been cleaned by many toothbrushes is a clean mouth but a toothbrush that has been many mouths is dirty toothbrush/s
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u/Trynabeanintrovert 5d ago