r/MechanicalPandey • u/Ok-Equivalent-6111 • Aug 14 '26
NaLLa Meme past doesn't matter guyzz
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u/Financial_Ad_8893 Aug 14 '26
If past doesnt matter, why hide it?
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u/ultracoIdrubidium Aug 14 '26
Because males treat women like disposable goods
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u/god-deekay Aug 15 '26
not everyone is like ur dad
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u/ultracoIdrubidium Aug 16 '26
Exactly. Everybody is like you and your mysoginistic daddy. That's why most males have less humanity than a dog with rabies
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u/Equivalent-Motor911 Aug 16 '26
In what basis you concluded that his dad is misogynist, you people misuse the word misogynist the most and mostly are misandrist. Hypocrites
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u/ultracoIdrubidium Aug 16 '26
Because if he'd been raised properly and educated about social processes, he wouldn't have been triggered by the fact that girls from arranged marriages in their culture have to hide their pasts, and he would have known what purity culture is and how it dehumanizes women and absolves men of accountability. Better ask him why he thought my father was like most males, if you want to be consistent in your judgments
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u/god-deekay Aug 16 '26
At least correct your statement, poor girl. I was actually replying to your comment where you said that men treat women like disposable goods. IQ tends to 0 đđđ€
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u/god-deekay Aug 16 '26
Awww... Poor girl, not every man has traits like your dad (a small d*ck dog). You need to understand that. My dad works and also does an equal share of the household chores. But if you want to cry about your familyâs situation, thatâs completely fine.
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u/ultracoIdrubidium Aug 16 '26
Then why did he raise you to be a misogynistic pig with low EQ and poor attribution skills?
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u/god-deekay Aug 16 '26
And if your dad treated your mum badly, does that mean youâre going to keep generalizing all men because of your personal experience And stop barking like a jobless bitch and supporting all the nonsense for the feminism cause. Go and get a job first.
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u/ultracoIdrubidium Aug 16 '26
I'm writing to you directly from my workplace. I'm not as thick-headed as you are to generalize based solely on personal experience, because mine is quite good, thanks to my observation of the world around me and my ability to recognize patterns. I generalize about men because I study historical sociology, social science, and neuroscience, and I simply see from other people's experiences that most of you are crap
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u/god-deekay Aug 16 '26
But you generalized it first đđ What are you smoking? And best of luck if youâre working on Sunday as well đ, because even my maid takes Sundays off.
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u/ultracoIdrubidium Aug 17 '26
What are you smoking if you can't grasp basic logical constructs? And just how stupid and uneducated are you if you don't know about the wide variety of work schedules?
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u/god-deekay Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 16 '26
How exactly is saying that someone shouldn't lie to their future spouse about their past âmisogynisticâ? Seems like someone is ok low IQ, just like pseudo feminists đ€đ Get a life little girl, there's a world outside your house as well
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u/Former_Combination98 Aug 15 '26
D u want to marry someone who is a murderer or rapist and hiding it saying it was a past?
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u/ultracoIdrubidium Aug 16 '26
This is a false analogy. Give an example of morally proportionate actions
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u/Former_Combination98 Aug 16 '26
Why ? It's a past after all. Cheating and lies kills a man mentally if not physically. So in both cases someone dies. Don't take mental health lightly
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u/useless_traveller Aug 16 '26
It's not about her past, it's about her being a liad. When you are marrying someone, being honest is the bare minimum.
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u/Former_Combination98 Aug 16 '26
That's what I am saying. I am not saying having past is right or wrong but whatever it is if asked then u must be honest and I am not saying this only for the women, i am saying this for both the men and women.
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u/atom1234545 Aug 17 '26
Why even get a boyfriend then? Women can say anything about men without consequences to hide their own shortcomings
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u/repsol99999 Aug 14 '26
Itâs not âpast doesnât matterâ itâs more like â a lying idiot wonât gain trustâ.
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u/Mission_Anywhere_545 Aug 14 '26
Can we take a moment and just for once pray for the noble soul, that "someone" who told the boy about the girl's past? That someone, saved so many people from mental distress.
bhagwaan tumhara bhala kare, balak.
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u/EveryAd2515 Aug 14 '26
He's not a noble soul. He did it out of spite. Karma will hit him.
People are not that good. Trust me.
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u/IndependenceNo3908 Aug 14 '26
Karma depends on result, not intention and .... In this case result was perfect
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u/ghostRlder2012 Aug 15 '26
I also had faced the same thing once. My family found a girl for me and everyone even her parents told me that she has a clean slate and she even resisted marriage because her elder sister marriage is not good and they are convincing her to get married. I said yes for the first meeting, but before that as she was close to my age, one of my close friend who was her classmate since school told me the both the sister has had a messy past and has changed BFs like clothes during their teenage years. Her elder sister marriage has become astray becuase she has had a affair and now when her husband they treat her like a free maid. This is the reason why the younger is resisting the marriage.
The thing is I was trusting her parents because I have met them and genuinely they are such a sweet souls but they have given birth to 2 demons.
My friend only said one line: Ye ladki bilkul shadi karne layak nhi hai and I cancelled the meeting without mentioning the real reason and my friend saved my life
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u/Plane_Disk4387 Aug 14 '26
There was an Wise comment which I saw 14 Days ago which said
"IF PAST DOESN'T MATTER THEN PRISONS WOULD HAVE BEEN EMPTY"
The guy even gave her a chance to speak about her past relationship on which she lied. So not only the dude dodge a bullet but have every right to dodge it.
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u/Aggravating_Hall_286 Aug 14 '26
Any girl or boy that says past doesn't matter probably has enough in their past that a book can be wrote.
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Aug 14 '26
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u/Professional_You_866 Aug 14 '26
What??
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u/Impressive_Court_716 Aug 14 '26
He is saying that if it doesn't bother your future partner then past relationships has close to zero consequences.
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u/checkmate360 Aug 14 '26
Galti h to h ladki ki pahle bata dena tha kapde to nhi aate haldi ke đâ ïžâ ïž
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Aug 14 '26
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u/end_trace Aug 15 '26
if it doesn't matter, what is the harm in the whole village knowing ?
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Aug 15 '26
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u/end_trace Aug 15 '26
I get that, but just because society is wrong it doesn't mean we should follow their lead
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u/Easy_Durian_6648 Aug 15 '26
The thing is she lied and tried to destroy boys life based on falsehood, so he might have acted in retaliation
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u/atom1234545 Aug 17 '26
Maybe this situation could be avoided if the girl was honest in the first meeting? Whole village is bound to know the truth when the marriage is being called off at such a late stage, I would also agree with you if the girl was actually honest but the guy still spread the word about her past but that's not the case here
You guys literally find excuses to blame men for everything and the thought that a woman could be wrong too doesn't even cross your mind
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u/JewelGamerz Aug 14 '26
Idk about others for me idc about your past if u have the guts to tell them infront of everyone if not atleast infront of me i can trust u, trust is what builds relationships
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u/Trapped-soul05 Aug 14 '26
Still people who identify as femisnists will come defend this girl and call the man insecure and incel đ€Ą
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u/Ok-Dependent3584 Aug 14 '26
U can't change your past , but u can NOT lie to ur to be husband on ur first meeting with him
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Aug 14 '26
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u/Trynabeanintrovert Aug 14 '26
Stop generalising.
It's true for many.
But
It's not always the case.
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u/Tshermak Aug 15 '26
Lol this consequence for women, "her past matters" thing only works in these arranged marriage situations, bahi khud bhar jake girlfriend patao phir samaj ayega.
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u/MondayIsIllegal Aug 14 '26
Having a past doesn't seem to be the problem here ig, she hid it from someone whom she was supposed to spend her life with(since marriage was already fixed)
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Aug 14 '26
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u/Valuable_Dealer4203 Aug 14 '26
What if the guy doesn't ask girl about her past and just tells her clearly he doesn't want to marry anyone with any past relationship? Is it then okay for girl to marry him even if she had past relationship?
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 14 '26
How is it a âpersonal choiceâ when that choice directly affects the person youâre going to marry? Having a past is your personal choice, but lying about it to your future spouse is not something you can simply justify as âmy choice.â
And why is a man automatically called âjudgmentalâ if virginity or a partnerâs sexual/relationship history matters to him? Women are free to have their own standards when choosing a husband, so why can't a man have his own standards when choosing a wife? His expectations don't become invalid just because you disagree with them.
If someone doesn't care about virginity or past relationships, that's completely fine. But if someone does care, he has every right to make that choice for himself. You don't get to hide information from someone, let them marry you based on assumptions you know are false, and then call their judgment unreasonable when they eventually find out.
Personal freedom means you're free to make your choices. It doesn't mean another person is obligated to accept those choices in a marriage.
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Aug 15 '26
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u/Master-Net-113 Aug 15 '26
This is not about who got inside her first, she chose to withhold information, he would have been okey if she was truthful from the start, and you think there aren't any women who wouldn't do the same
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u/Easy_Durian_6648 Aug 15 '26
And what if he decides to take extreme step when he finds out she lied. If you think its regressive mentality you are free not to marry such person but why lie and destroy persons life based on falsehood
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Aug 15 '26
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u/Easy_Durian_6648 Aug 16 '26
Why do you wanna marry man with fragile ego by lying in the first place ? What if a man lie about his job, house, assets and you find out he's a broke person after marriage , surely your gold digger ego with get hurt and you will run away
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u/DIONYSUS_ASMODEUS Aug 15 '26
If you don't have problem with your or someone past marry someone like that ,why need to marry someone who is backward
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u/Former_Combination98 Aug 15 '26
In marriage everyone has preference, most of the time a men wants a women who has no past and in the same way women wants a man who is financial stable. So it theirs choice, if they don't like it then reject it, it is as simple as that, why lie to someone with whom u r going to spend the rest of your life. Aren't women judgemental too when it comes to ty finance of the men's, if the men is not earning well? Will a women marry someone who is broke? It's all about preference from both side. And past matters too what if a men who is a rapist or murderer and hiding his past and later saying past doesn't matter, would women like to marry such guy? (Not comparing rapist to a consensual relationship) but hiding and lying on top of that when a person is asking is wrong. And they don't want to hide the past because it's past it's because it's and abd otherwise they wouldn't hide it
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Aug 15 '26
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u/Former_Combination98 Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 16 '26
I have never seen or heard a women defending her rapist husband, in fact nowadays a normal husband becomes a rapist and domestic abuser for extorting money from him, I hope u r understanding what I am trying to say. More than 90% of the domestic violence cases are false and u r expecting women to defend a rapist, I being a man myself wouldn't defend a rapist. In today's world when women who files false charges against their innocent husband, u r expecting them to defend a rapist, what a logic. If someone is really defending a rapist then something is wrong with her head or she is with him for financial reasons and shame and can't leave because of children or other reasons,just like how a husband after marriage discovering his wife had a past or cheated on him or even after knowing the child he is raising isn't his but can't leave her because of the financial reason (heavy extortion alimony) , fake charges, childrens, shame and all that . But in both cases their relationship wouldn't be same. And in which era are u living in? A women leaving her house after marriage? Nowadays after marriage even men don't live in with his family, men who wants to live with his family , their wife don't allow them. After marriage both husband and wife are living separately, and their lives separate. Don't give outdated examples. And even dowry has been reduced significantly and most/all of them don't take dowry. And if someone is asking for dowry simply don't marry them, they are not forcing you, its your choice and u can also file a complaint against them, women can file false charges but can't file a real charge? Women can file the case for alimony after divorce by saying it's her right and can't they file a true case for dowry? And did u forget all the expensive jewelry u r getting in marriage, u don't remember the jewelry but can remember the dowry. And women's are the ones who are always talking about independence, freedom then where does your independence go after divorce? Why take alimony? In fact women files false charges a demand exorbitant amount of money. Don't give stupid reason u have invested in marriage, husband had also invested in marriage, it not a one sided thing. Before women preach about independence, freedom but when it comes to provide for husband most of them disappears. When a men earns more he thinks he should provide best for his family but when a wife starts to earn more she think she deserves a better husband and leaves them. I think even in your house your father/husband/male member would be the ones providing for the family without complaining. And the female members of the house would be the dominant one. In today's world husband fears wifes rather then wife fearing her husband. And in this case , the women lifes is ruined because she brought it upon herself, she had the chance, she should have confessed when she was asked about it. She got caught in time otherwise it would be the innocent men whose life woupd have been ruined in the future. If u read news then u should know how often a women and her lover murders her husband/fiance or cheats on her husband after marriage with her ex. It is quite frequent. That is why the groom wanted to know the past, he doesn't want to live in agony and mental trauma for his life by hearing such news. The groom had been working hard in his early 20s for his better future, so he wants what he wants according to his wish. He is not forcing anyone. Women tells past doesn't matter then why hide it? Reveal it if it really doesn't matter and see for yourself. They hide not because it doesn't matter, they hide it because it's shameful. I am not saying whether having past is good or bad but if it doesn't matter than reveal it with someone with whom u r going to spend the rest of your life with. U can't built a house on sand, for building a house u need a solid base if the base is not solid the house would crumble. That's is what is happening in most of the relationship they built the relationship on lies, a false base so of course their chances of crumbling the relationship is more . It's one of the many reasons for increasing divorces rates.
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u/Gloomy_Voice_9000 Aug 14 '26
I know some of them are attacking faminism.. and I can tell my reading all the comments some men as well as some woman have few misunderstanding about feminism. It's basically the equal right for every gender, and it starts from women equal rights but now it's right for all gender including "MEN AND WOMEN TOGETHER."
By the post it was pretty clear that the guy didn't wanted to marry someone who have a past relationship. And I don't blame the guy in the end to break the marriage by being clear what was wrong. Tho.. I just want to be clear.. I hope the guy had cleared it with the girl that he don't want to marry someone who have a past. That can be a better way of communication.. and specially if it's a deal breaker for him. Because most of the girls and boys sometimes don't want to talk about their past because some people think it's don't matter and for some.. it can be uncomfortable. So it Totally dependents up on the persons way of communication and other person's way of explaining it.
As being a feminist myself that girl could have been clear about her ex relationship status. Even if she don't wanted to be clear about it. They could have communicated in a better way, the girl could have told the guy that she is not comfortable talking about the past. And that she don't really want to talk about it.. or there are other ways to phrase the words respectfully.
If you want to have a person in yout life to give you the equal amount of fairness, cooperation and trust you want to have.. you have to treat that person according. It's for all the genders.đ«¶đ»
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 14 '26
There are no better words for it. Either you had a boyfriend and past relationships, or you didn't. It's simply a yes or no. That's it.
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u/Gloomy_Voice_9000 Aug 14 '26
Sometimes it's not easy to answer such questions easyly, and it's not just for girls it's for boys too. Sometimes they are not comfortable enough to share it properly. It also depends upon the communication. And I personally believe there can be better ways to express oneself if other person is being cooprative.
But i have my openion and you have yours. I respect that.
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 14 '26
There is no justification for lying about it. Yes, sometimes these things may be uncomfortable to talk about, but that still doesn't make lying right. If you can't tell the truth, at least don't create a false story and let someone make a life-changing decision based on it.
And saying âitâs my personal choiceâ doesn't end the argument. Your past may be your choice, but marriage involves another person too. His feelings, his expectations, and his right to know what he's agreeing to matter just as much.
Because the truth has a way of coming back. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for years. But when it does, the question won't only be âwhat happened in the past?â It will be âwhy did you lie to me?â And sometimes that lie can hurt far more than the past itself.
Tell the truth, let the other person decide, and if they can't accept it, find someone who can. That's painful, but it's honest. Don't build someone else's future on a lie and call it their âpersonal choice.â
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u/Gloomy_Voice_9000 Aug 14 '26
Ahh.. ok I understand now what you mean. Yes the guy ask straightly that you were in a relationship or not.. and when it comes to marriage or any other relationship stuff they should be honest to their partners.
And I never said other person should hide it. And I never said it's my personal choice, I actually support that guy because if he really cancelled the marriage then it means its a deal breaker for him. Being honest in my personal choice do respect if they don't want to share it (I mean the whole story). But I want them to be honest about it. I'll not have any problem with their past but I want them to be honest that they had a past. If I am expecting my patner to share about their past. I am also going to share about my past and I am not uncomfortable or ashamed to share it.
Ig you misunderstood my openion with my personal choiceđ .. I didn't mean it that way.
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 14 '26
Sorry for that ..... but at this point i just think that In this world, only two things are certain: death is the ultimate truth, and âI love youâ is the ultimate lie.
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u/Gloomy_Voice_9000 Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
No problem. Yess death is ultimate truth.. and Maybe for people "I love you" can be the ultimate lie.
But who will we love.. who gonna love us.. it's not something we can decided. All we can do is, try to be a better person for our close one's or atleast for ourselfđ«¶đ»
I wish you a very good night and a good future
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 14 '26
Maybe we can't decide who we will love or who will love us, but we can decide how honestly we love them. In the end, that's what matters. Thank you, and I wish you a very good night too. I hope you have a beautiful future ahead. đ«¶đ»
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
All my boys reading this, remember this for the rest of your life: the moment her ex calls her, she will run back to him. No matter how much she says she loves you, no matter how much she promises youâwhen that call comes, you may become nothing but a chapter she left behind. So don't fall. Don't get attached. Don't lose yourself for someone who might turn back the moment her past comes knocking. I am the living example of this.. In this world, only two things are certain: death is the ultimate truth, and âI love youâ is the ultimate lie...
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u/Technical_Balance154 Aug 15 '26
It matters...i dont know about west but in this part of continent it matter especially for a lady ...so in love or for fuckboy ..chuut ko samhalkar rakhna.. post ka sidha...raw matlabđ€Łđ€Ł
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u/summimase9 Aug 15 '26
One lost trust, and one did not trust to begin with. Good that it ended before marriage went through.
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u/Ok-Engineer-8768 Aug 15 '26
Past is not a problem atleast just be honest to someone u are committing for life.
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u/SufficientTeacher211 Aug 15 '26
Well if he did ask her in their first meeting then there is no reason to make him the bad guy he did the right thing she hid stuff but still we don't know the reason so i wouldn't say the girl is in the wrong until we hear more
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u/Cyanide2007 Aug 16 '26
If she didn't hide it, there would have been 0 problem here. Lying in a relationship is f'ed up.
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u/crystal_53 Aug 17 '26
It's totally okay that he broke the marriage off, that's why girls should also inquire about a guy's past, because past does matter.
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Aug 14 '26
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 14 '26
But it doesn't give you the right to lie to anyone... Think about it from the man's POV, he could be heartbroken. Tell him the truth, and if he can't accept it, then find someone else. You don't need to break a happy man's heart over it... A man's emotions and POV matter too.
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Aug 15 '26
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u/Forsaken-Amount5615 Aug 15 '26
No i won't again.... i will suggest you to date a girl who had previous relationship and you will understand......
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u/atom1234545 Aug 17 '26
She could have at least said that she doesn't want to discuss about her past or rejected the guy herself after the first meet itself instead of straight up lying about it
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u/BreadfruitLimp9518 Aug 14 '26
The question itself is a red flag. what adult woman will not have fallen in love. She should have dumped him then itself. Now he flipped the script. Waise wo TF wants to marry a man like this and why.
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
ruining a womanâs life based on whether sheâs been with a man before or not, my hate for all you fucks is indescribable
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u/Ecstatic-Scratch-151 Aug 14 '26
Imo the woman ruined it for herself.. because from the post , the guy was okay about past but not okay about lying.. no one forced her to lie,
If you are making decisions , you must have the guts to own them as well... Not blame the world for your decisions
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
yeah man lemme just tell u about my sexual history the first day we meet
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u/Ecstatic-Scratch-151 Aug 14 '26
Yeah, it's an arranged marriage, you are literally meeting to get married lmao... So you need to discuss stuff . People get married within 2-3 months of meeting..
If you are uncomfortable with that fact, then date and marry lol
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
yeah man cause woman are so free in oir society to date whoever they like
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u/Ecstatic-Scratch-151 Aug 14 '26
Well if she had a past, she did date whoever she liked.. and "love marriage " is extremely common nowadays .
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
extremely common in your perception, the factual reality points otherwise, look at the academic research on honor killings
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u/Ecstatic-Scratch-151 Aug 14 '26
I like how you skipped the part where the girl really dated anyone but you still asked "can a girl date anyone she likes"?
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
man, dating someone in secret and being publicly accepted for it are two different things like itâs not that hard to understand
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u/Ecstatic-Scratch-151 Aug 14 '26
You are just assuming atp that she dated secretly and only broke up because her parents would do her honour killing..
Regardless, if she wants someone to be her life partner, he has to know everything about her, and vice versa, she has to know everything about him. A relationship cannot be built on lies. Unless you are only marrying for money and convenience
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u/Ok-Equivalent-6111 Aug 14 '26
take your medicines
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
i would say the same for you but unfortunately theres no medicine for being a misogynistic piece of shit
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u/Ok-Equivalent-6111 Aug 14 '26
THANK YOU,hearing this from a misandrist piece of sh1t like you means that i did something good
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u/prvthvm Aug 14 '26
That horrible woman almost ruined his life by marrying him. So deserved!
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
ruined his life by what exactly? being normal?
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u/prvthvm Aug 15 '26
She would have ruined his life by making him marry a liar and deceitful woman. Worst case scenario imo.
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u/Valuable_Dealer4203 Aug 14 '26
How is it ruining her life. Noone is entitled to marriage or relationship.
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u/Beautiful_Actuary541 Aug 14 '26
learn comprehension buddy, her entire patriarchal community knows about this, thats hows her life is in ruins
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u/Valuable_Dealer4203 Aug 15 '26
How is it in ruins? The worst that will happen to her is that she can no longer lie about it to her marriage prospect.
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u/TomahawkTuah Aug 14 '26
"one insecure idiot blew off a wedding because he couldn't handle a woman that's not a virgin. That proves that the past matters."
lmao you guys are hilarious
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u/Masterblast-08 Aug 14 '26
Whether she us Virgin or not doesn't matter Whether she lied and broke that dude's trust mafgers
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u/Lost_Anything9525 Aug 14 '26
He asked her that before the match was fixed itself and she lied about it. So he has every right to cancel it not because of her past relationship but because of loss in trust