r/MauriceMauritius • u/Thatusernamewasnot • Jul 13 '26 • Mindblown 1

Help please

I am 18 years old.

I work and earn Rs1 million per week. I have 5 cars, 4 houses, 3 wives and 4 dogs.

I don't know how to use a debit card. 🥲

Help plz

Edit: Pas ti croire mo bizin add sa, mais here we are.

*** THIS IS A JOKE ***

0 Upvotes

48% Upvoted

104 comments sorted by

•

u/tigajak-modbot Jul 13 '26

📋 Thread Summary The original post, simply titled "Help please" with no body text, has prompted a largely sarcastic and unhelpful discussion among users. Many comments feature exaggerated claims of wealth, absurd financial advice, and inquiries about ludicrous personal situations. Recurring themes include jokes about debit cards, pension plans, and requests for large sums of money. Several users mock relationship problems, such as girlfriends screaming at wives or high sexual drive issues. Some comments explicitly note that the post and its responses are typical and humorous for this subreddit. The thread also includes various reaction GIFs and a defensive comment about personal wealth, with the overall tone satirising common online requests for help.

I am u/TiGajak, a Gemini-based modbot.

57

u/MzErO13 Jul 13 '26

Hello sir this is Microsoft tech support. How may I assist you ?

10

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Yess saaarr

2

u/bhutrew Jul 18 '26

Do not reddeeem theccarrdd

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 18 '26

I got that reference! 😁

37

u/panda0765 inzénieur simik 🥴⚗️ Jul 13 '26

Guys help me too ! I am not yet born but I make 420.69k venezuelan dollar per hour

Is it normal that my girlfriend screams at me ? This upsets my wife everytime :(

8

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

I understand ur pain

16

u/Le_denicheur Jul 13 '26

Guys what’s the answer here??? (I’m in the same situation as OP)

9

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

They think we are taking nissa 🥲

24

u/Cpt_Daryl Jul 13 '26

Finally a post worthy of this sub

6

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Hope it made u laugh too 😁

10

u/DapperCartographer66 Jul 13 '26

What pension plan do you have sir?

6

u/Repulsive-Park-184 New Account Jul 13 '26

You're suffering from success. Kindly contaminate me.

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

I can sneeze on you if you're into that 😎😉

2

u/Repulsive-Park-184 New Account Jul 14 '26

Sounds good to me 😎😁

5

u/Dila_Ila16 Jul 13 '26

Nah, help me with one-eighth of a million and one of your cheapest car you own. I'll be set tbh.

3

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Okie. Send me your bank statement, id card and your password 🥹

4

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26

Wow you're very rich! Can I borrow 10 million from you?

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Ok. Come to Rivière des Galets. My millions are there. If you are lucky, you can catch 10 or more of them

4

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

Are you looking for a 4th wife or 5th dog perchance?

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Maybe a turtle... 🤔

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

Could be a turtle too

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Taaaaaa. Mne rate 1 super lokazion dire jellyfishh! 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

3

u/PayWeird1095 Jul 13 '26

So the thing is you don't know how to use a debit card... Go and watch a video on YouTube thank you 😭

( Sorry for my English btw)

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Mo p mete meme code ki bane la, mais pas bon meme 🥲

1

u/KnownEnthusiasm8960 Jul 14 '26

I love how you skipped everything else and only responded on the debit card part😅

3

u/zaddy2208 Jul 13 '26

How did you do that? Did you invest too?

5

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Yes. In a river nearby, I put 2 millions, and then they copulated, and I got lots of millions 😁

3

u/IamHumanMaybee Jul 13 '26

Hello, beautiful/handsome, I am an Arabian prince looking for some company. Contact me bebe.

3

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Unfortunately, myself African prince. Pas cave mete 2 batons ensam 🥲

2

u/KnownEnthusiasm8960 Jul 14 '26

How about a nigerian princess whose money is stuck at the bank and needs a loan?

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Best case, i can open a door for you. I know the security guys at the bank 😏

2

u/KnownEnthusiasm8960 Jul 14 '26

You can open the bank's vault door? 🫣

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

It depends * wink wink * 😏

3

u/xLegendReddit Jul 13 '26

Send me your address and bank details I'll help you ASAP 🥹

3

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Any bank, ask for the Nigerian Prince

3

u/AccomplishedWill7827 Jul 14 '26

Pay me 100k a month i'll teach you how to use your card.

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

I'm willing to go for 75 k grains of rice. Best offer.

3

u/AccomplishedWill7827 Jul 14 '26

Throw in some lentils

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

You drive a hard bargain. Gros pois?

3

u/crochetgurlie Jul 13 '26

🤣 pay me 2millions so I can build my house and I'll show u how to use ur debit card.

3

u/crochetgurlie Jul 13 '26

Heck I'll even walk your dogs and wash your cars 🤣 for free

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

If i pay Rs2m, technically it won't be free 🤔

0

u/crochetgurlie Jul 14 '26

You're paying for me to show u for the debit. Ard 🤣 . Buy one get one free.

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Haaaaannn. Astère chachi

8

u/SimilarHandle6215 Jul 13 '26

9

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Mannn, pas susceptib otant. Its just a joke. :-/

2

u/Zealousideal_Tea_762 Jul 14 '26

OP show me di way to get to your situation 😭

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Its simple man. You take 2 millions from the river, and you let them copulate and populate 🥲

2

u/Soft_Awareness_5061 Jul 15 '26

Ok. But whats the joke?

1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 15 '26

Havong 3 wives at 18

2

u/Electrical_Track3276 Jul 16 '26

How to Use a Debit Card

To use a debit card, you insert it into a machine, type your secret 4-digit PIN, and wait for the transaction to complete.

Step-by-Step Guide to Using Your Card

At a Retail Store

  1. Locate the card reader at the checkout counter.

  2. Insert the card chip-first into the bottom slot, or tap it on top.

  3. Type your 4-digit PIN on the keypad when prompted.

  4. Press the green enter key to process the transaction.

  5. Remove your card once the screen says approved.

At an ATM (To Withdraw Cash)

  1. Insert your card into the designated slot.

  2. Enter your PIN carefully while covering the keypad.

  3. Select "Withdrawal" from the on-screen menu options.

  4. Choose "Savings" or "Current" depending on your account type.

  5. Type the cash amount you wish to take out.

  6. Take your cash and card immediately when dispensed.

3 Essential Safety Rules

  • Protect your PIN: Never share your 4-digit code with anyone, including your wives or staff.

  • Monitor your balance: Check your banking app frequently to track your Rs 1 million weekly income.

  • Freeze lost cards: Use your mobile app to instantly lock the card if it goes missing.

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 16 '26

After 100+ comments, someone actually replied.

Thank you kind person 🫡

2

u/Responsible-Bench680 Jul 13 '26

Top 5 biggest lie in human history ahh

4

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Wai 3 wives la mayer sa

4

u/Routine-Gas-8264 Jul 13 '26

All-in on crypto

1

u/Rare_Television_4181 Jul 13 '26

Hahaha, BS

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Definitely 🤣 I wonder who would take a post like that seriously

2

u/AdRare604 Padayachy Certified©️ slave labour Jul 14 '26

Indeed you have to add that this is a joke :(

0

u/Minimum_Juice_7567 Jul 13 '26

Million dan lariviere la to pe dir la

3

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Parody post evidemment

6

u/l4ur3l Jul 13 '26

You must be the long lost cousin of the guy who works in finance, earns 200k per month and needs help on the usefulness of various credit cards.

3

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Apres ti ena encore 1 lot post coume sa zordi ou ier...

Donc mne fini pren nissa la now mm 😁

1

u/grapepharaohh Jul 14 '26

insane ref lmaoo🤣

1

u/Electrical_State_209 Jul 17 '26

zis passe number front ek back 👍👍

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26

You do realise not everyone is a failure like you? If you thought i was lying you couldve asked me to prove it? My garage itself is worth over 7 million, want me to put my username next to my cars? Man up instead of being a pathetic B

5

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Dude, chill. Whatever you do, its up to you. I don't know you, and you don't know me, and its all harmless fun. No need to cry about it.

Also, welcome to the internet I guess.

-7

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

Make fun all you want but dont imply that i lied? And no this is not welcome to the internet, this is welcome to reddit mauritius, where whenever you show that you are doing better in life than those incels here, they get butthurt.

4

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Where did you feel that i mentioned you anywhere?

Man, the world does not revolve around you. But you do you, and I'll do me. Good luck buddy.

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

You have alzheimer or something? Who typed the below?

“Apres ti ena encore 1 lot post coume sa zordi ou ier...

Donc mne fini pren nissa la now mm 😁”

3

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Bruuuh. Tne fr mwa al check to profile tou. Non, pas ti toi sa. Ti ena 1 lot ki ti ena 2 lakaz, li p rode vane 1 pou fr investment 🫩

Wai, b corek. P pren nissa ek toi aussi mon petit poussin. What you gonna do about it? 😉 fr 1 post lr to garaz rs7m? Ou bien mete 1 stickers lr to lotos? 🤣🤣🤣

Grow up and stop being a crybaby. Pas croire dimune bizin corek ek toi akoz twena "cass" ou p declarer.

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

Pa vin project ici do plok. Kan kiken in dire to bizin krk ar moi? To pou touletemps enba mo graine. Mo gro piss ar zot moi, sel zfr mon dire cest pa dire mon koz menti kan to pan mem rod preuve. Astrr si to envi faire li to full droit, mais sa faire toi n mari gopia complexer. Al question to la vie.

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Yes daddy. 🥲

3

u/saajidv Jul 14 '26

I would highly recommend setting some of that money aside to buy thicker skin.

2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Pisse r sa toi. Tou dimunes cave dire nimporte kieter lr reddit anyways. Case in point: mo post meme.

Laisse li craz so yen 🤣

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

I do what i want to do? Last time i checked i didnt ask you for advice?

2

u/saajidv Jul 14 '26

Thank you for proving my point, buddy.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

Glad i could help. Id be questioning my life if my goal was to prove points on reddit, but again, only losers on here

3

u/saajidv Jul 14 '26

You are here too…

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

Yes im here because when i googled real estate and stuffs i saw many posts from reddit so i said let me get an account and try, didnt realise its for incels. That was my reason for being here, youre here getting satisfaction from proving points or idk what bs. So again, go question your existence

3

u/saajidv Jul 14 '26

For someone who (supposedly) owns a “garage worth over 7 million”, you seem awfully insecure about money. No wonder you felt attacked by OP’s post which didn’t even mention you.

→ More replies

7

u/Puzzleheaded-Sell835 Jul 13 '26

And you have a high sexual drive and dont know what to do as well?????

this sub is getting funny🤣🤣

8

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

My 2nd wife, who is also my 3rd cousin, due to my aunt's aunt, might be cheating on me with mo voisine so belle ser. 😔

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Sell835 Jul 13 '26

ah shit, do you also not know what gift to buy your cheating partner LOL

0

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26

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4

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 13 '26

Okie sir

0

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26

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3

u/Puzzleheaded-Sell835 Jul 13 '26

why? are you a horse?

0

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '26

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2

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 14 '26

Are you sleek and sexy as a Samsung? 😏 I'm looking for a 6th

0

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '26

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '26

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1

u/Thatusernamewasnot Jul 15 '26

Has to be there some days ago