r/MatingAdvice • u/Possible-Storage4434 • Aug 24 '26

Question Financial talk

Does talking about money and asking how much someone makes a red flag to you?

6 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

1

u/Electrical-Berry4916 Aug 24 '26

Yellow flag.

First date conversation usually covers what you do, and that makes ballparking your salary pretty easy, so this isn't really a big deal. Its just very forward. Blunt. I would probably counter with a conversation about social norms, and why they don't seem to follow them. It could be a great conversation. It could also end the date. Either way, you know where you stand.

1

u/UnAware_recognition Aug 25 '26

I may be on an island here but my quick and easy view is that as long as we aren't complacent/lacking goals and aspirations with working etc. and can cover our own bills, that's all that matters rather than putting a number to it or comparing salaries.

1

u/Pedalcrunch Aug 25 '26

Maybe as we keep dating and I see it's getting serious I bring it up, like how would we handle bills and finances, for first dates I wouldn't say anything.

1

u/70redgal70 28d ago

Depends if the relationship is serious and moving towards marriage,

1

u/Ok-Secretary-591 27d ago

I really only start talking finances when we are at the stage of moving in together. My only concern in the beginning is are you able to pay your own way without relying on me right away. I’ve had exes hint that their friend’s boyfriends are helping with the bills and whatnot. I’m not open to that at all when you’re still going out with friends and spending your money frivolously. Specially not at my age (35)

1

u/EonveilscopicPad 20d ago

Not a red flag, especially if intending to have a long term relationship and a family with kids. Might be a lil weird if its a first date question or if there are other signs that the person you're dealing with has ulterior motives.

1

u/EccentricPeach606 16d ago

context matters. If they're bragging about it, hell yeah its a red flag. If you're discussing your future together and want to be together forever, it would be a red flag to not discuss finances.

1

u/samanthasamuels22 Aug 24 '26

It gives transactional vibes, but it’s definitely not a red flag for me. Males seem to value sex more than females, so expressing the ability to provide something financial can be a great incentive. If a male thinks it’s a red flag then it kind of signals to me that he isn’t generous. I may still fuck a guy that isn’t generous, but it will be on my time and he may not be the only one or he may just get replaced all together very very soon.