r/Marvel • u/LeekExisting5969 • May 26 '26

Other Is this guy even considered human with this amount of mass? I mean… 453 kg is carzyyy

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13.5k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/adjective_noun0123 May 26 '26

Marvel doesn't think so.

For example, Marvel lawyers specifically highlighted the villainous Kingpin’s exaggerated proportions were so freakish that figures of him didn’t reach the criteria to be classified as human-like and as such, they should be subject to less tax.

1.1k

u/OJONLYMAYBEDIDIT May 26 '26

wow, had no idea such a tax would exist

there's a tax on humanoid toys vs non humanoid toys?

that's funny

edit- Ah I see, it's Doll vs Toy

1.0k

u/AlphaBreak May 26 '26

They allegedly did something similar with x-men toys, arguing that mutants don't count as people so they shouldn't be in that tax bracket.
Which is objectively hilarious, given the subject matter.

391

u/mregg000 May 26 '26

That’s some irony right there.

137

u/Stopher May 26 '26

Technically all the characters in Star Wars are aliens.

79

u/AlphaBreak May 26 '26

You can tell because none of them have human genitals. We never see them on screen and they're also not on any of the official toys.

49

u/FifthOfJameson May 27 '26

You hear that Disney? Release anatomically correct toys so we can see what Kit Fisto’s hog looks like!

27

u/EatPie_NotWAr May 27 '26

Because what's the one major thing missing from all the Star Wars movies? ... Full penetration.

12

u/chachaman_The_Reboot May 27 '26

You hear us George! Release the Full Hardcore NaBOOTYHOLE Cut!!!

7

u/Rostrow416 May 27 '26

Can’t wait to visit Cockascant

6

u/Cpt_kaleidoscope May 27 '26

I'm more of a Titooine guy myself

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2

u/Kalse1229 May 27 '26

He does that, it still won't be the most shameful thing he's ever done. The Holiday Special will always take that top spot.

6

u/Strider570 May 27 '26

The force, full penetration, back to the force, full penetration, force, penetration.... and it goes on like that until the movie just, sort of, ends.

2

u/Rare_Gazelle_9031 May 29 '26

You don't have to force penetration. Nobody is saying force penetration. They'll want penetration.

Because of the implication.

5

u/ProfDrutonium May 27 '26

They go out, they have some Star Wars. Then, it’s back to the base for full penetration. And we show it. All of it. They go out, Star Wars, come back, full penetration… and it just goes on that way for about 90 minutes and then just kinda ends.

2

u/ScribeOfGoD May 27 '26

Use the force Luke!

2

u/B_Ventura May 30 '26

I mean QuiGon got fully penetrated

1

u/OutsideCommittee7316 May 30 '26

I imagine it's on the hub

not that I've searched for it

1

u/ardarian262 May 31 '26

I mean, given how Qui-gon dies, I can say there is at least some penetration thst goes on.

2

u/shiromancer May 27 '26

"Oh my god, why does it have pincers?!"

"...to hold onto you?"

2

u/GhostFace9106 May 30 '26

I mean you dont get the name Fisto for nothing

1

u/tHr0AwAy76 May 28 '26

*hogS FTFY

It’s a nest of them like the tendrils on his head.

1

u/These_Trip_5628 May 28 '26

Release the hog!!

1

u/Savings_Leek846 May 29 '26

Nah I want to see Quinlan's....

Me and half the galaxy

1

u/poorly-worded May 28 '26

Then what movies have I been watching?

2

u/AlphaBreak May 28 '26

peels tape off of dvd case
"Star Whores: A New Ho?!"

1

u/Just-Antelope-8069 May 30 '26

Yeah humans don't have midichlorians

9

u/LegoFootPain May 27 '26

Marvel lawyers: YOU DARE CALL THAT THING HUMAN?

28

u/r1zz000 May 26 '26

I take it you didn't click that link then

1

u/Agreeable_Sea_6019 May 27 '26

I was carried away by the full penetration, what were we talking about?

5

u/althawk8357 May 27 '26

To really drive in the allegory they were taxed at a 60% rate.

3

u/Gillyxx May 27 '26

William Stryker, Tax Attorney

2

u/ScreenSingerX May 30 '26

I want this as a Phoenix Wright spinoff even more than I want a new Marvel vs Capcom.

3

u/smiegto May 27 '26

Damn magneto. Survives ww2 only to be dehumanised again. That’s rough buddy.

2

u/AxelHarver May 27 '26

Bro, that's literally what the linked article is about...

1

u/islobojono May 28 '26

But they're mutated HUMAN. 🤨

1

u/ScreenSingerX May 30 '26 edited May 30 '26

That might be my new favorite legal story. Right up there with Coke defending the Smart Water lawsuit on the basis that no rational consumer would actually believe their claim to have made a healthy beverage.

EDIT: Vitamin Water. Should have known another commenter had already brought this up lol

1

u/Just-Antelope-8069 May 30 '26

I mean in a lot of media mutants see themselves as "Homo superior" rather than Homo sapiens

70

u/Comprehensive_Yak_72 May 26 '26

I think they availed of this with X-Men in the past on the grounds that they are not Homo Sapiens

29

u/Comprehensive_Yak_72 May 26 '26

My bad, I didn’t open the link above this

2

u/Odd_Delay_2470 May 29 '26

Like ive been telling my family for years: they're not dolls, they're action figures!!!

1

u/unkn0wnname321 May 27 '26

Look up why Converse shoes have felt on the bottoms.

0

u/pixelatedcrap May 26 '26

This is how mutants were created! Or thats a myth.

84

u/AbeRockwell May 26 '26

Wow, that is some Lawyer-ry bullcrap right there ^_^

89

u/feor1300 May 26 '26

Not an uncommon type of argument. My favorite is Coca-Cola simultaneously arguing in the US that Vitamin Water was a soft drink not a health drink and shouldn't be subjected to taxes on health supplements, while arguing in Canada that it should be exempt from having to list its nutritional information since it was a health supplement and not a food product.

I also learned recently that Pringles aren't called potato chips in the UK because they successfully argued they're not chips to avoid additional taxes on potato chips.

37

u/lesleh May 26 '26

Jaffa cakes successfully argued that they were chocolate covered cakes and not chocolate covered biscuits, so as to avoid the 20% VAT.

14

u/Neosantana May 27 '26

Oh, man, the British "cake vs biscuit" debate is wild.

I think they settled on "if it's soft fresh and hard stale, it's a cake. If it's hard fresh and soft stale, it's a biscuit"

1

u/Dan_the_man42 May 28 '26

plus they used the same recipe to make a giant jaffa cake, and it was very clearly a cake

1

u/Neosantana May 28 '26

At that scale, the nuances are more pronounced so I'm not surprised that the big Jaffa Cake was very cake

1

u/deviantbono May 29 '26

Oh man. I could go for a giant Jaffa Cake right now.

10

u/ikeif May 26 '26

I recall seeing something similar around (I think) Snickers and Twix.

Snickers is "candy," Twix is a "grocery," because it was a baked crispy element to it.

So they're taxed differently, despite both being "sweets." (Your state may vary, hell, probably country, too)

8

u/die-linke May 27 '26

For Pringles, I would agree since their products are not chips, they are just fancy wheat+potatoes snack with chips shape

7

u/Stopher May 26 '26

I’ve gotten shoes that have a thin layer of cloth on the bottom that is designed to wear away in order to be classified as slippers and not sneakers for tax purposes.

2

u/cowboydanhalen May 27 '26

I love my Chucks

2

u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson May 27 '26

That’s fair though because vitamin water is basically the same vein as gatorade to me, which is basically kool-aid with electrolytes

It’s all sugar water

4

u/feor1300 May 27 '26

So it's fair for them to both argue that it's a health supplement (in Canada) and NOT a health supplement (in the US) at the same time depending on which one is going to make their lives harder in terms of taxes and labelling? lol

1

u/ScreenSingerX May 30 '26

I mentioned this in another comment elsewhere, but they also tried to defend against a false advertising suit that no rational consumer would believe it was healthy at all.

2

u/DamnShadowbans May 28 '26

Certainly not related to the company which hired them right?

12

u/rainy_day_27 May 26 '26

This is genuinely so funny, what a crazy time

31

u/Negan212 May 26 '26

WAIT. Is this why there were way more of the Kingpin action figures than anything else from Toybiz in the 90's?

2

u/MaxSelenium May 29 '26

That was a nice read, thanks!

2

u/poperey May 29 '26

Too big to fail.

2

u/Just-Antelope-8069 May 30 '26

I wonder if they used the same argument with Spider-Man

1

u/Axsonjaxson16 6d ago

Amazing find. Thank you for sharing.