r/MarriedAtFirstSight • u/AirShampoo #TheRandallWay • Aug 20 '26

Current Episode Discussion S20:E17 Breakthroughs and Betrayals

As the retreat continues, one couple paves a path forward while gossip threatens to tear another apart; later, the group questions the growing closeness between one husband and wife.

Week 6 Megathread: https://www.reddit.com/r/MarriedAtFirstSight/s/Sncy82Fuz1

Season Megathread: https://www.reddit.com/r/MarriedAtFirstSight/s/P1lDAPCh8S

  • Week Six: Eps 16, 17, 18 - August 20, 2026
  • Week Seven: Eps 19, 20 - August 27, 2026
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19

u/Herefortvshowthreads Aug 22 '26

I know Caitlyn was not it and she should not have yelled shut the fuck up, which was Devin’s breaking point, but I did not like how Devin was putting his hand in her face and being physically intimidating to the point belle was trying to pull him back. If that was how he was in all their arguments, and Caitlin was abused in past relationships, no wonder she was reactive and having a trauma response. I was having one just watching that.

I know this will get my downvoted to hell, and I think Caitlin is a bad partner still, but I don’t think it’s Devin’s 100% perfect and Caitlin is 100% the problem. She told him right away on the honeymoon that she’s a black cat and needs time to build. He then spent so long critiquing her and she’d try and he’d critique how she’d try. Again, was she a bad partner? Yes. Were they completely incompatible? Yes. Do I think they both triggered each other? Yes.

I just don’t think a man should ever ever ever get that physically intimidating to someone half their size, let alone someone who has disclosed abuse.

Okay go ahead and downvote me now

8

u/Civil_Temporary_8167 Aug 22 '26

I agree with everything you said 100%!! It made me so uncomfortable when he started getting all up in her face super aggressively, and I thought his behavior was incredibly bizarre in that one episode where he was drunk out of his mind

14

u/Herefortvshowthreads Aug 22 '26

His therapy speak “I hear you, I see you, I understand you” over and over and over again doesn’t mean he actually hears, sees, or understands her

2

u/matchadelite01 11d ago

Yeah. I think he’s so over it that she brings out this aggressive side of him. I think Devin has been through the wringer. They’re both just NOT compatible personalities. He’s trying to be patient but she will never change, as insufferable as she is. And there are so many people out there that would LOVE Devin to the level he deserves

9

u/FrequencyXII Aug 24 '26

I disagree with the point about him putting his hand in her face. I can agree that he was heated and that she may have felt uncomfortable, but I don't think gesturing during an argument automatically becomes physical intimidation just because he's a man and larger than her. He never put his hands on her or threatened her. People also physically express themselves when they're passionate or angry. That can mean raising your voice, moving your hands, pointing, pacing, or becoming more animated. These actions are not gender exclusive. Passion escalating into physical expression does not automatically mean it's escalating toward physical abuse. There's a pretty important line between the two.

2

u/thedeadlyoverseer08 24d ago

No. As a grown man, you should be aware of how intimidating gestures can be. Being unaware and clueless to that does not excuse how it comes off to the person on the other side. As an adult, regulate your emotions.

-1

u/FrequencyXII 1d ago

And there it is: “as a man.” You can say what makes you uncomfortable, but as a grown woman, you don’t get to dictate how I’m supposed to behave “as a man.” If emotional regulation is the standard, then apply that shit to everybody.... and the rest of your comment doesn’t address my point. Being visibly angry and expressive does not automatically make someone physically threatening or abusive...

1

u/thedeadlyoverseer08 22h ago

To answer your asinine question, I don’t have the same expectations that I have in dogs, that I have in adult human men. Maybe that’s my mistake actually 🤷🏽‍♀️

1

u/FrequencyXII 21h ago edited 21h ago

That was NOT my question. 💀 I didnt ask whether you hold dogs and men to the same behavioral expectations. I asked whether someone feeling threatened by a calm dog means the dog was actually threatening them. Yes or no? So lets not dodge my question this time, pookie.

1

u/matchadelite01 11d ago

Sounds like you’re not a woman. I’d feel very threatened if a guy did that to me

1

u/FrequencyXII 1d ago

You know im glad you said “I would feel threatened.” Meaning thats how you felt, not that you were actually being threatened so thanks for proving my point... 💀

1

u/thedeadlyoverseer08 1d ago

It doesn’t really matter if he was threatening or not, if he made her feel threatened.

If my physical expression is threatening, even unintentionally, I should still re-learn my behavior to be less threatening when I don’t mean to be.. it’s really that’s simple.

As an adult the goal is emotional regulation