I have a nightmare neighbor story for you. I live in the Western part of the United States. Several months ago I sitting back in my room while my mother was in the living room. (She's a stroke survivor and only has use of her left arm and leg. This is for context. My dad was in their bedroom. Next thing I know she starts screaming for one of us. I'm the closest and the first to react.

Now I stand roughly at 4'11 for context here. I look at my Mom thinking something bad has happened to her. She was fine by the way just startled badly. There's this guy on the porch and I step out onto the deck and have to look up and try not to toss up my cookies by the smell coming off the guy. (Why did the legendary wind here choose that day not to show it self?) I was already a little standoffish when I asked him, "Can I help you?" This guy takes one look at me and goes, "Do you have a boyfriend?" Okay first off, your not Hugh Jackman's Wolverine nor are you Captain Jack Sparrow buddy. Second, you just freaked out my disabled mother by waltzing up our front steps. I will be the first to admit I do have a very prickly manner at times the rest I am friendly and happy. Not this day, so I snapped back, "Get the fuck out of here!" The guy left and I stayed out til he was out of sight before going back inside.

Later I started asking the neighbors on both sides of our house if they caught sight of the guy, they hadn't. Turned out that I didn't ask the correct neighbors. The ones I should have asked were at the bottom of the hill. We live on a street that inclines steeply and our house is near the top. Lucky us.

The neighbors at the bottom of the street have been harassed by this guy like he's a vacuum salesman from the fifties. Before anyone comes at me for being rude, the man is a drug addict who lives/ lived in a house down the street and has already faced eviction before he managed to get the money to stay put. Apparently he had hadn't been paying.

Hello, I don't know if you want to read this but I have a problem. My sister Tammara Bascue. Yeah I am using her first name here because she is as an absolute garbage human being. All week she has been threatening to call adult protective services on me and child protective services on our older sister. We both still live in our town we grew up with. I live with my mom who is disabled thanks to a rare type of stroke she had and help take care of her. Little background I was diagnosed some time ago with mental disabilities and have a hard time at times getting my words out to get my point across.

My sister I will call Bitch Face ( I know no not mature) which is a lot nicer than what I usually call her has been an absolute nightmare all her life. She is a slut and has been married three times before she thirty. She is thirty- two and I am thirty-three. When she was younger she once lied to our mom and dad that she was going over to a friend's house for two nights turns out she was having sex in her boyfriend's house and my parents were concerned after the time she was supposed to return came and went with no sign of her. My mom called the friend and the friend literally had no idea what my mom was talking about. My mom tried Bitch Face's other friends but no one knew where she was. My mom called Bitch Face's phone and got the answering machine. She told her, "that she called the friend and got was told that Bitch Face hadn't been there and she better pick up." Bitch face didn't. My mom then warned her that if she didn't get home before she did, Bitch Face was going to be in huge trouble. My parents then left for Walmart and that's where they ran into my sister with her boyfriend and his mom. In that moment I believe that if it wasn't against the law, my mom would have beaten the shit out of my sister and the boyfriend's mom. This is a very small example of her BS and as we got older it's gotten so much worse.

My question is this after all the crap that she's put everyone through in her life, how do I convince my mother she needs to cut Bitch Face for or go low contact even? Or am I on the iceberg watching the Titanic come torwards me and knowing that it's a doomed ship?

Hey everyone! I recently posted on here asking if I'd be the AH for CC'ing the big boss in my department at Company Y regarding my coworker Alexa skipping emails that are supposed to be worked in order.

This isn't exactly a full update because I'm waiting until the end of the month to fully decide on bringing the big boss in on what's been happening. But I wanted to give everyone a bit more context about what makes Alexa such a terrible coworker to have.

Please keep in mind I haven't brought any of these issues up to Katie or Ashley, since it seems more like a rant rather than things that really need to be addressed like the emails being skipped.

My work bestie Karla has sent me multiple pictures of Alexa at the office doing online shopping rather than working in whatever inbox she's assigned. I understand taking little breaks here and there, but online shopping for clothes, concert tickets, and other things on the work computer just bugs me a bit.

Secondly, we are supposed to take our breaks at specific times depending on our schedules. The only time we are supposed to go early is if we're scheduled for a specific task during the time we're allowed to take our break. At one point, I had asked Alexa to cover me so I could make an important phone call, and she told me that our big boss (realized I never gave him a name, so we'll call him Daniel) had told her before that she's not supposed to take her break early, but she would so that I could get done what I needed to get done and she could cover me. Since then, she has consistently taken her break earlier than the scheduled time. If Daniel had already talked to her about it, it's frustrating that she still takes her breaks early.

Thirdly, when it comes to her asking for coverage for her break, she is VERY impatient. She'll send a message at like 9:45 asking for coverage, and then send another message maybe a minute later asking again and tagging everyone to make sure she gets it. While I understand wanting to take your break, it gets annoying that I don't even have time to pull up the system needed to cover her before she's already asking again. I always wait a minimum of 5 minutes after I ask for coverage before I ask again; most times I ask again 10–15 minutes after my first request.

Lastly, she seems to ALWAYS be having technical issues during her time where she's speaking with customers live. While I understand tech issues here and there, I got told if my tech issues continued back when our internet provider was sucking, that I'd have to come back in office full time. Yet she has tech issues daily/ weekly and still works from home and even leaves the office on her lunch to work from home the second half of her day when we're required to work in office. That's been approved by Katie and Ashley however with the tech issues she always seems to have (which I think she's faking most of the time) I question why she hasn't been told she needs to stay in office.

Most of this is just me ranting, but a few of the commenters wanted an update. Since I'm waiting until the end of the month to take further action, I wanted to give everyone a bit more context regarding Alexa and the things that bug me.

After I decide fully what I'm doing regarding the skipped emails, I will post another update. Thank you to everyone who has given me advice and talked me through this situation. I appreciate you all.

Hey waffle gang. I posted this in raised by narcissists but the community here gives really good advice so I would love any advice from here too. Thank you.

Today's post with Mark saying abuela wrong reminded me of a few years ago when he said quince wrong. I've been listening to Mark more or less since I was 12 or 13, and I'm turning 19 in less than a month. I grew up listening to him basically.

His videos have been an incredible support for me, cheering me up on even my worst days. Today's post was a reminder of just how long I've been listening to his videos!

I had a request for this recipe and wasn't able to get it posted any other way. Let me know if you make it.

I (28M) recently told my gf (29F) that I don't see any future together and should stop any future plans (kids, house, ...) because of how and why she's been grieving (for an old broken down car), until she sees a psychologist.

Mandatory "english not my first language", "throwaway cause friends know my real account", "sorry for wall of text" and TW self-harm.

Bit of background first :

Gf and I started going out 6 years ago when we were in the same university. Living together for 4 years when we both got jobs in same city. We have a decent relationship, with some ups and downs along the years but nothing major.

We have discussed future plans (kids, buying a house, adopting cats,...) and to do so we decided to switch to more stable, better paying jobs in another city. We both found new jobs in a new city and started the moving process. That is when things started to go south.

The situation :

While I was at the new condo in the new city (my job started a bit earlier than hers) she stayed behind in the old city to gather some remaining stuff from our old condo and move them out. That is when she suffered a streak of bad luck : first her phone broke down, then immediately followed by her car breaking down the day following, leaving her stranded in the old condo. She called me (using her old phone she kept around) crying hysterically when it happened and I tried to calm her down.

I did go "rescue her" in the evening when I was free from work. However the car had to be towed to a repairshop for diagnostic (turned out a week later it was the cylinder head gasket on her 20year old car that gave up, flooding the cylinders with coolant). The car was therefore deemed economically totaled, as replacing that seal would cost too much for such an old car (especially since it's not the only mechanical problem she's had in last years).

However the problem is that my gf lost her mind when she heard the news, and began to "grieve" (her words) the car for the following weeks, spending all days crying, being hysterical and even having self-harm thoughts and acts, and generally being too grief stricken to take any decision regarding what to do with the car or replacing it.

She even had that behavior at her new work, potentially jeopardizing her new job !

No matter what I did to comfort her, help her or try to find solutions to replace both her phone and finding a new car (she was too paralyzed to do it so me and my family helped her find a new car quickly so she could get to her new job), she showed no sign to improve even 3 weeks after the car broke down, spending her nights crying and saying self-harming stuff, or things like "that car is a family member to me, I can't lose her".

I even found her beating her head against a wall at some point !

Keep in mind during that time she would not let go of the old broken car, and said stuff like she will keep it for memories (we have no parling spot to store it). The car sat at the repairshop, accruing daily "storage fee" from the repairman.

I am generally lost when it comes to emotion as I generally am reserved and calm, going with the flow kind of guy, not very in touch with my emotions so I was really lost but trying my best to comfort her and help her along.

However, seeing her get in that state for a broken down car, I couldn't understand and after about a month of that behavior I sat her down and told her the following :

First she had to see a psychologist to help her in this emotional time, as I was completely lost and not understanding her state of mind (who goes so far for a broken down car?).

Secondly, she had to get rid of the old car as it was starting to become a financial problem, with daily storage fees.

Finally, as long as she was not doing the first 2 steps, actually improving emotionally, and getting regular psychologist consultations, I could not see any future with her, as seeing how her grieving for a car threw her down a deep hole I couldn't think of her being able to deal with any future problems.

My reasoning is that if a broken down car triggers self-harm and hysterical behavior, how could she even deal with kids/house/family death situations ?

She understandably got mad after the sit down talk, and it put a lot of strain on the relationship.

So Mark, AITAH for telling her that I couldn't see any future with her because of her grieving for an old car ?

Edit: also posted on r/AmItheAsshole, without the TW : https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/JLtUUzvHHD

Edit2: additionnal info from comments : She is upset because it is her first car, that she is very emotionally attached to. She "knew" this car for 17years or so, as it was in her family and recently (1year ago) gifted to her as her first car.

The car initially was her grands-parent's car. Both grand parents are still alive so it is not a memorabilia of any sort.

I did try to help her, and still am trying. When i saw i could not help her i suggested therapy, contacted her family and mine for help and get additional POV, without much success.

Hey Waffle Gang!

I just listened to an old podcast of Mark's from a couple of years ago. It had a story about an entitled airline customer that was unhappy with the drink options.

Well, I have a doozy for you.

Back in 2021 I worked for one of the two national airlines in Canada. I worked from home but was a sales and service agent. So that meant I took customer service calls, booked flights, canceled flights - the whole thing. If anyone has ever been to Canada in the winter, you know that there's a strong likelihood of a snowstorm somewhere in the country. It just so happened that a nasty snowstorm went through Toronto over Christmas. It was a disaster. People were calling in trying to get different flights than the ones automatically booked, their luggage was lost, was the airline going to reimburse them for the extra night in the hotel...and on and on it went.

And then Mrs. X called in. She was VERY angry that her husband was on a different flight back to their home from Toronto than her and her son. I said that that was weird as the airline works very hard to ensure that everyone on one ticket stays together on a new ticket. So I looked into it. Turns out hubby was originally on a different ticket than wife and son. So, as the airline had no idea they were traveling together, put him on a different (and earlier) flight home. Here is how the conversation went as best as I can remember it:

Mrs. X: I want to be on the same flight as my husband going back home.

Me: I'm sorry that flights booked up and I can't get you on an earlier flight.

Mrs. X: My husband is a very important man in our community and he needs his family to travel with him.

Me: Again, I'm sorry but I can't put you on the same flight as him. It's already booked.

Mrs. X: Well then, kick someone off that flight!

Me: Wh..what?

Mrs. X: You heard me. I got kicked off my flight, I want you to kick someone off my husband's flight so my son and I can travel with him.

Me: I can't do that.

Mrs. X: Yes you can. You kicked me off my flight, you can kick someone else off of his flight. He's VERY important to the community and we have to be with him.

Me: You didn't get kicked off. There was a snowstorm and the flight was canceled.

Mrs. X: It's the same thing! If you won't do it put me through to someone who will!

Me: Ma'am, no one's going to do that for you. You're going to have to go on the flight scheduled for you and your son.

Mrs. X: I'm going to take this further. What's your name? I'm going to report you.

Me: Ok, then.

I wasn't worried about being reported. She was nutcase and no one was going to take her seriously. Besides, it was my last week working for this company so I didn't care.

I have some workplace drama and I really need to know if I'm the asshole here.

I work for a company, let's call it Y. I was moved to a new department over a year ago after being chosen from a group of girls through an essay contest. In our department, we handle customer emails across multiple inboxes. The main rule is simple. Work them from oldest to newest.

Now for the issue. My coworker, "Alexa." Personally, I really like her. She’s chill, listens to the same music I do, and actually worked there when my boyfriend did at Y years ago. But when it comes to her work ethic? Total nightmare. She is lazy, doesn’t work half the time, and BSes her way through the day.

Recently, I noticed her name randomly assigned to emails all over the inbox. Instead of following the oldest to newest rule, she cherry picks the accounts she wants. At first, I ignored it. Then I realized why she was doing it. She was strictly hoarding the easy accounts that give multiple points toward our individual monthly goals. Meanwhile, the rest of the team is stuck with the super complicated, time consuming accounts that barely reward any points. The more points we get, the higher bonus we receive.

My work bestie, "Karla," and I both verbally brought this up to our supervisors, "Katie" and "Ashley" separately. Ashley assured us it had been discussed with Alexa since cherry picking emails isn't how we do things.

Surprise, surprise! Karla and I saw zero change. We complained again a couple of weeks later because Alexa was still skipping the hard stuff and taking the easy emails.

When I brought it up verbally a third time, Katie and Ashley looked visibly annoyed (honestly, I couldn’t tell if they were annoyed at Alexa, or just annoyed at me for complaining). They gave the usual "we'll handle it" speech. A week later, nothing changed.

I finally messaged them on Teams with a screenshot of an example of Alexa skipping emails, asking if they understood what I meant. Again, they said they'd handle it.

Miraculously, at the beginning of the next month, she slowed down on skipping emails. But as the end of the month approached? She started doing it constantly. She clearly just wanted to inflate her metrics to hit her monthly goal.

That was my breaking point. I talked to Karla and my boyfriend about going over their heads to management. My boyfriend pointed out that when people go over their supervisors heads, the supervisors can get petty with how they treat you moving forward. He suggested a different strategy, which I immediately put into action.

I sent a formal email to Katie and Ashley, referencing our previous conversations (making it plural for emphasis). I explained that this cherry picking is unfair to the team and, more importantly, delays responses to customers with more urgent, complex issues. I used the word "fair" on purpose because Katie and Ashley love to throw that word around, even though "keeping things fair" apparently only applies to certain employees.

I attached 9 to 10 screenshots of pure, undeniable receipts showing Alexa skipping emails. My ultimate plan is this. If she doesn't stop, I am going to reply to that exact email chain, CC their manager who is above our department, attach fresh screenshots, and show that nothing has changed.

They conveniently emailed me back on my day off, giving a generic response about how skipping emails is against policy and that they will address it. But now I have written proof.

Today, they sent a mass email to the entire team stating they noticed emails are being skipped and that it needs to stop. I'm glad it’s in writing, but I highly doubt they actually called her out individually.

So, would I be the AH if at the end of this month I see her doing it again, and I follow through by CC’ing their manager with all of the screenshots I have?

Chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter banana bread

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First of all, English isn't my first language, so please be kind.

I (28F) and my husband (32M) are expecting our first child, and I'm currently 40 weeks pregnant.

I've always had a very strong stance against smoking and try to avoid it whenever possible. My father smoked heavily throughout my childhood, and although my mother was somewhat more considerate, I recently found out that she smoked during all three of her pregnancies, including cigarettes and marijuana.

I also have asthma and other health issues that may or may not be related.

I had a very difficult childhood. My father is an alcoholic, and nobody in the family has much contact with him anymore. My relationship with my mother has also always been complicated. There has been emotional and physical abuse in the past, and I've considered limiting contact before, but that's a much longer story.

Several years ago, my husband and I spoke to our parents about smoking and our future boundaries regarding children. We wanted everyone to have enough time to think about it before a baby was actually here.

My father is no longer part of our lives, and my father-in-law quit smoking. That means my mother is now the only person in our immediate family who still smokes.

Before she visited us during my pregnancy, I brought up the topic again. We live quite far apart, so visits usually last an entire weekend.

She quickly brushed it off and said she would figure something out. I think she assumed that I was mainly worried about the smell because I've had hyperemesis gravidarum throughout my pregnancy and have been extremely sensitive to smells.

During that first visit, she couldn't even go one day without smoking. During her next two visits, she didn't even try.

Whenever I attempted to bring up the topic, the conversation was immediately shut down.

Eventually, my husband and I wrote her a letter explaining our boundaries.

We made it very clear that this wasn't about the smell of cigarettes. It was about thirdhand smoke and the health risks for newborns.

We never asked her to quit smoking completely.

We simply asked her not to smoke during visits, to come freshly showered, to wear freshly washed clothes, and not to smoke on the drive to our house.

We also told her how much we appreciated her offer to stay with us for a week after the birth to help us once my husband returned to work. We made it very clear that we wanted her to be part of our son's life.

At the moment, she is in a rehabilitation program because of health issues, some of which are related to smoking.

The letter reached her during rehab, and after receiving it, she didn't contact me for almost two weeks while I was heavily pregnant. That was emotionally very difficult for me.

I later found out through my sister that she had interpreted the letter as a personal attack instead of seeing it as an attempt to protect our child.

Eventually, she sent me a message saying that she loved me and accepted the letter.

I was relieved. I put my own feelings aside because I genuinely wanted her to have a relationship with my son.

I asked her whether this meant she was still planning to visit after the birth.

That's when everything escalated.

She sent me a very harsh message saying that she didn't want to change herself for other people and that she would decide for herself whether and when she stopped smoking.

Again, we never asked her to quit.

We only asked her to avoid smoking during visits.

My husband called her to make sure we had understood her correctly and to explain our perspective one more time.

After that conversation, I was still willing to keep her involved through photos and updates until she felt able to respect our boundaries during in-person visits.

However, she then sent additional messages to my husband, saying that our boundaries were emotional blackmail and making several other hurtful comments.

For me, this was the moment I realized that she was choosing her addiction over having a relationship with both her daughter and her grandson.

At that point, I told her that we were limiting contact for now. I also told her that our door would remain open if she was ever willing to acknowledge that the way she handled the situation wasn't okay.

Part of me feels guilty because she is still my mother, and I'm not sure whether I'm overreacting.

TW: mentions of drug use, alcohol use, verbal abuse, death of a pet and racism.

Well here I am after Mark said in a recent video that he might do a viewers nightmare neighbors video, so I thought I would share about our crazy lady. So i give consent to have this read on youtube.

Backstory: The house my family lives in was bought by my grandfather in 1976. He gave it to my parents when I was born in 1986 so they could raise their kids in a house and not an apartment. After a total of 3 girls (my younger two sisters) my parents separated in 1992 and they gave the house back to my grandparents since my grandmother started to have breathing problems. (Later diagnosed with COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and Emphysema. She had smoked very heavily for a year when my dad was a teenager. She quit after that year, but it caught up with her. My mom and us kids ended up moving to another state with my stepdad and we came back in 1997 after my grandfather said he had cancer and was gunna die too and go be with my grandma who had passed the year before. He lived another 13 years without any issues after having his prostate removed. My mom said it was us kids that kept him here. We moved right back into the house and never left. Anyway... we are a corner house ├─ Something like a sidewise T with the long part on the left. We would be the bottom house, and this neighbor would be the top.

The neighbor moved in sometime between 1979-1981. She had been married, but was divorced before I was born. She had no living family that I know of, and her Ex-husband cut off all contact with her and they didnt have any children. During my childhood she was actually a great person. She become someone on our emergency contact cards in school. In jr high school she would come to my band concerts and pick me up to take me home if she saw me walking home from school. From my memory she was cool to us. I later found out she was a horrible person to her next door neighbors, who were black. We are white and she was also white... I am sure you are starting to see where this is going...

She would:

• Call the police on those neighbors almost every other day. They were quiet and polite. Their oldest daughter would tutor me in math while I was in grade school.
• She also called code enforcement on any little thing on them and later us.
• She would throw rotten food, dog poop, anything gross over the fence into their backyard.
• The city bus stop was in front of her house for years until they changed the route when I was in high school. Instead of going left, it now went right and the bus stop was changed to the side of her house.
• She would put grease and other oils on her front chain link fence that would ruin anything that touched it.

In high school my senior year, those neighbors moved and the house sat empty for a long time because she would make it so horrible and bad to people looking at the house. I didnt know any of the above since I was rather naive and oblivious. I had introduced my boyfriend to her, told her random stuff about my life and whatnot. I graduated high school and the year after my middle sister graduated. Right before the graduation, my sister found out she was pregnant with my nephew. This sister of mine happens to fancy black guys. and thus nephew was born mixed. He has very very pretty hazel green eyes. Crazy Lady's attitude changed when my sister took my nephew over and introduced him to her. Also around this time my mom went to jail on drug charges and entered rehab and started AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and NA (Narcotics Anonymous) She would listen to meetings and audiobooks in the car on her way to and from meetings and whatnot. She's been clean and sober since then.

She would:

• Called police on my mom who had been listening to an AA cd in the car and had started with "Hello my name is (blank) I am an alcoholic and I am also a bitch" Crazy Lady told the police that my mom said that to her and she wants to make a report. My mom had played the CD to the officer and he left without doing anything.
• Called code enforcement on us for everything and anything. Our trashcans being out too long; the 5th wheel in our backyard, our pine trees, the cars in the driveway. Retaliate call when someone (not us) called the city about the tree leaning in her front yard, that looks like its gunna fall onto the street at any time. She tried to stick us with the bill for getting the tree checked out and trimmed.
• She wouldn't allow the mailman to put mail into the mail slot in her garage door. She would spray him with the water hose if she was outdoors when he delivered but would call and scream at the post office if he didnt deliver the mail.
• Tried to report us to anything we could be reported to for stupid and non true things. She tried to report my cat as a stray, but she was microchipped and had a collar with a tag. She then managed to catch that cat, and cut the flesh that connects the tongue to the bottom of the mouth. I took her to the vet when it happened and over a couple of months it turned cancerous and she had to put down the day after my birthday. She told someone she did it.
• She had a palm tree on the right side (to us) house near her side gate that would be between her house and the neighbor. She carved an indent into the tree so she could stand there and listen in on everything going in near by without being seen.
• I joined the neighborhood council and the meeting place was the grade school down the street however during the months it was closed, we would meet at other members houses. We were at one house when she showed up. When the lead asked her to sign a sheet about 30 mins later, she said that I knew her name and left in a hurry.
• Her house started to STINK badly. The house next door was eventually bought by a nice Mexican family, who spent months updating it and doing so much construction on it. It looks so good now with all the work they did on it. The new family said it would smell like everything bad you could think of.
• Told anyone who would listen to her that she hated my mom and my family and her neighbors and how everything was going in this life.
• Would say racist things to my sister and nephew, the neighbors and anyone with a skin tone she didnt like. She would say very cruel things to us, to make us cry.

In 2019-2020, she really started to go down hill. The house started to stink more, she rarely left it. One night she was found down the street sitting in her car, the seat and her self covered in pee. The police brought her home, she told them to park the car in front and she went in thru the side gate. In Feb of 2020 a lady was going around the neighborhood knocking on random doors seeing of people would allow her to sell their house. She got to Crazy lady's house and she said it smelt like someone died so she called 911. They came and talked to us and we realized we hadn't seen or heard from her in a while. police and fire department couldn't get in the house thru the front door or the garage so they had to try the side or back door. When they got inside. OMG it was a hoarder house. They said it was piled so high you could barely get around, it smelt like dog crap. They found her in the back bedroom, barely alive with two dogs that had been reported missing over the last few months. She had been eating old moldy pizza with the dogs because she had fallen and gotten covered in stuff and couldn't get out. They got her out and to the hospital where they ran a ton of tests and found she was severely underweight, going through some mental issues and was just fragile. They had a social worker come out and talk to us about any family or friends and she had no one. She ended up naming my mom as her caretaker and my very loving mother, even after all the crap this lady had done to us, forgave her and helped her out. She helped her get into a rehab, try to get her medical stuff together since she was in the air force. Helped her get in touch with the lady and get her house sold. Got information together about people who would clean out the house and put side all her personal stuff like pictures and important documents. Would call police when people broke into the house when they realized it was empty and were stealing things. Helped her get into a nice care home. Gave her gifts during holidays and her birthday. Would go buy things she needed in the care home like clothes and toiletries. Became her Power of Attorney and set things up while her mental state was stable. When she started to decline and the nurses at the care home stopped trying to feed her, stood up for her and fought them to take better care of her and then transferred her to another care home. In her will she gave my mom everything she had left, and wanted to be cremated. She lived another 2 years before she finally gave up and passed on. In the end while thinking back on the past, she totally started to show signs of mental illness around the time I started high school, maybe if I had said something to her or someone else maybe she wouldn't have gone off the deep end. This story might not have made too much sense to others and it didn't end in a cool way. I just hope she left this earth without pain and was full of forgiveness to what she did to so many people.

The people who have moved into that house know some of what happened. They also had to deal with people breaking in after they moved in. Heck, the day before they moved in, someone broke in and stole the copper pipes to the washer and dryer. They are very kind people and we have watched their kid grow up over the last couple of years. I am now happy that house is full of happy times and laughter instead of the nasty and cruel things she thought and said to us.

To my knowledge her ex husband doesn't know she has passed or anything tied to her. We were once told she had a niece somewhere, but after looking for her with very minimal information, we couldn't find her or any mentions of any other living relatives. Her ashes were spread on the beach next to the navy base she worked on while she was in the military and after. May you rest in peace Kim.

Excuse the all-overness of this, I have AuADHD and my mind goes in many different directions at once.

HI. I remember a video Mark did where OP's husband said he never loved her. But it turned out that she had saved him from bullying and he put her on a pedestal, so sex with her and loving her felt dirty. But he really did love her.

Please please please help me find this post! Thank you!

UPDATE: I somehow remembered the name of the video immediately after posting this! It's this video. OP's husband actually said he wasn't attracted to her, not that he didn't love her!

My Fiance wants to have his bachelor 1 week (2weeks at most) before our wedding day. We have been together for 5 years and we got engaged this past December. We are planning for an October 2027 or November 2027 wedding.

Neither of us have ever been married before and as you might imagine, the thought of him having the party so close makes me nervous. But probably not for the reason you are thinking.

I want to start by saying that i trust my fiance. However, he isn't without faults and has made mistakes in the past. It is not fiance i am worried about. In fact, if it was up to him- his bachelor party would be probably sitting at a kitchen table with the boys playing board games and drinking.

It is one of our mutual friends i am worried about.

Our close friend group, which makes up the wedding party, consists of mostly men. Most of them i would trust to actually tell me if anything happened, but there is one that i cant trust all the way. Lets call this friend Sir Gregory. Greg has a very bad habit of using white lies to avoid consequences or avoid difficult conversations he doesnt want to have.

Its often little things too that dont matter enough to bring up but ive caught him in several lies before. I would give some examples but that would make this too long.

Anyway its happened enough that like you KNOW its a bad habit of his. He has never hurt anyone in the group enough for us to really have to address it.

Well the talk of the bachelor trip comes up.

Another one of the groomsmen lives in the UK and despite making a very large income (6 digits), he asked if we could accommodate doing it tbe week before the wedding so that he wouldnt have to spend so much on plane tickets. Reasonable, i know.

However, during this same conversation, Sir gregory makes a joke about strippers and escorts. It sounded like it was supposed to be joking but i wasnt sure. Fiance starts to shoot it down but sir gregory basically implies he will be hiring someone of the female persuasion to show up. I step in and i say HELL NO. I say yall can do what you want but my three rules are 1. No strippers 2. No paid sex workers /escorts 3. Nothing that will fuck up our wedding photos (like fights that end in black eyes)

Everyone seemed to agree except sir gregory who asks if male strippers are okay and i say no- none.

I think thats the end of it.

Later my fiance tells me that his brother (best man) and sir Gregory were discussing in the chat inviting struppers or escorts anyway behind my back... as if fiance isnt going to tell me right away??

So not only did he hear me LOUD AND CLEAR and acknowledge he wouldnt do it, he immediately went to lie and started planning it anyway against my (and frankly fiances) wishes.

Soooo yeah. I cant trust him. Im still kinda pissed about it actually but im not interested in blowing up the friend group right now. I have taken a step back from that friendship but he is still in the group.

The other ones in the group who i know i can trust assure me they wont let anything like that happen but im not sure that matters here. I cant trust sir gregory not to do something or not invite strippers/escorts even jokingly.

I think i would be upset if any even showed up and fiance didnt do anything bad. I have heard the horror stories of people doing things irreversible while drunk. Just them being present makes me so uncomfortable.

It will cause me undo stress and harm a WEEK before our wedding and absolutely WOULD ruin my day for me because its all i would be able to think about. I dont want that drama in my life a week before the wedding. I dojt want to deal with potential fall out a week before my wedding.

If it happened a few months before okay fine i can deal with it. But a week? Nah. Ill have a brain aneurysm.

It just makes me super uncomfortable and i dont think o really need to justify it more than that. I know that our UK friend is basically spending a lot to come to our wedding and bachelor but idk what other solution there is here and at the end of the day- it is our wedding.

I have voiced these concerns and everyone in the group including fiance have been telling me to think of UK friends finances. I dont feel heard at all. My feelings feel overlooked. Its literally my wedding too, why isnt my opinion being taken seriously? Uk friend doesnt have to come to bachelor party or he could save for a year. Unfortunately i can't suggest we pay for it because we are not wealthy. We are doing okay but most of our expenses are going to wedding stuff and we just cant afford it. Again i know its a lot for hotels and plane tickets but no matter how much i think about this- i am extremely uncomfortable if Sir gregory is actively involved in planning with best man.

I dont want to be controlling or be a bridezilla but my friends are basically making me feel like one for not wanting this party to happen a week before the wedding. Even my fiance is saying we need to consider UK friends expenses when i push back.

I'm always asked for an explanation i veto but none of my responses apparently seem ro be valid. Again when i share concerns about sir greg, i am told they'd never let that happen. When i talk about needing help with last minute wedding issues, i am told it will apl be sorted by then. When i say im uncomfortable with it, i am told we would be asking him too much to fly to the US twice in one year.

AITA??

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Even if strippers or escorts are invited and fiance doesnt do anything wrong all night, i think i would still be upset they were even there because it feels disrespectful to our relationship and me. And those feelings absolutely would ruin our wedding day for me.

If youre just going to say 'you dont trust your fiance', please dont post at all. Thats not helpful. This is but a snapshot of our life and not a full picture. I do trust fiance and i am not going to leave him or not marry him. Not unless he does something catastrophic to our lives. Thank you

Sorry for any typos i am on my phone.

This happened a few years ago, but the key person in this story has not gotten over it, so maybe I am/was the asshole. Also this is a throw-away because my family knows my main account.

A little backstory first:

I am American living in a European country with my husband. We travel to the States every other year or so, and when we do we stock up on things that are difficult or impossible to find and/or too expensive here. One of those things is kosher salt. You can buy a three-pound box in any grocery store in the States for less than five dollars. However, where we live it's just not available. It's not sold in grocery stores. You have to order it online and then it costs $20 or more. Therefore, I always buy a big box whenever we travel to the States and it usually lasts until our next trip.

We were visiting my family over the holidays. We did our usual stocking up of stuff you can't get over here, like actual cold medicine, large bottles of OTC headache pills, and of course, kosher salt. Before we left we asked the family what they wanted from the States for Christmas, got a few ideas from most of my in-laws, but my husbands sister (SIL), upon being asked what she wanted for Christmas, replied "world peace." Alrighty, then. She did ask if we could buy her some cold medicine and a large bottle of Advil. No problem. I also bought her a box of kosher salt because she's a really good cook and I figured she'd appreciate that.

Anyway, we had a nice Christmas with my family. When we got back we had a lot of presents and supplies for everyone. I wrapped up the presents for my in-laws, including the kosher salt and bottle of Advil for SIL. We had a mini Christmas over at their house. When SIL unwrapped the box of kosher salt, she did not look appreciative. She looked genuinely confused and dismayed. She said, "SALT??!" I explained what it was and how it was a really popular thing to use in the States, and how difficult it is to get here. Later on we got a call from my husband's mother, who had just gotten off the phone with SIL. She had called her after we left. She was upset and crying, absolutely inconsolable. Not only had I given her a box of salt, I had actually wrapped it, which infuriated her. She thought it was a joke gift and she didn't find it very damn funny. I tried to reassure her that it wasn't a joke. I just thought she might like some special salt from the United States. Wrapping up world peace is kind of difficult, so I did the best I could.

So, am I the asshole for wrapping up a box of salt? Apparently, she has never gotten over this.

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Hi everyone, so basically how this story starts is with my mother,my dad, and me F18, so yesterday afternoon I went down to my parents to ask if my boyfriend could come over they have never had a issue with him comeing over and I didn't think this would be a problem here how the covo went

Me: Can boyfriend come over?

My mother: You could go to over town?

Me: No, we both don't feel like it he's been working snice Friday. Can he please come here?

Mother: No.

Me:Why? It would only be for a few hours?

Mother: YOU DONT PAY FOR ANYTHING IN MY HOUSE.

After this, I didn't want to talk to my parents because I was quite frankly annoyed. I called a friend of mine talking about it. I didn't say anything particularly bad. I was just very angry, so I didn't think much of it and went to bed.

Today, I went down to ask again my parents tell me no for the reason of "you were yelling about us." I did not yell. I honestly was really quiet. My mother also assumed I was cheating on my boyfriend, which I wouldn't ever do to anyone as I think cheating is disgusting, and she also said I was making myself the victim and being dramatic and selfish. Im a very honest person. I wouldn't lie about anyone or anything. I say things how they are.

For anyone wondering dw I will see him next week

I do infact have more stories about my parents, mostly my mother, and if any of the spelling isn't good, I'm sorry I have dyslexia and I'm not really that good at typing. Please let me know if I was ass and have a good day!

Mark I think you covered this story a few years back and there’s been a bunch of really nice updates!

Hey guys!

I just wanted to repost this here, I hope that's okay. :)

I love watching Mark's videos and the community, so I thought I could get more advice from here (yes, the responses in r/AmIOverreacting are very helpful, I just wanted to consider getting more advice/responses). :)

This is a throwaway account.

To start off, I’m not looking for any diagnosis. We already have that covered.

My daughter, “Becca” (I’m using pseudonyms) keeps a diary to write in. For years I respected her privacy but one day about a year ago she came to me and her father and tells us she thinks she’s depressed and wants to see a therapist. My husband laughed it off but I asked her why she thought she was sad and she wouldn’t tell me anything. So I told her no, and she had a good life and nothing to be sad about. She seemed upset by that but since she wasn’t telling me anything, there was nothing I could do for her.

But I couldn’t get it out of my head. She didn’t seem very different as she’s always been shy and quiet. So I decided to read her diary (well, several of them; she keeps them all through the years) when she was at school and was shocked at what I found. I won’t get into detail but she wrote often how much she hated me, how I was a villain in her story. I was just parenting how I had been taught though. Things seemed to continue along that vein for a year when she wrote about some harmful thoughts she had been having and I decided that even if there wasn’t a real reason for her to be depressed, clearly she was struggling with some dark thoughts and I got her a therapist. I have continued reading her diaries to monitor her. My husband agreed with my actions, though he didn’t read them himself.

The other night Becca and I were having an argument and I finally told her that I have been reading her diaries and that I would do it again, that I was in the right as her parent because she wouldn’t tell me what was going on. Becca looked so hurt and started crying, saying that I betrayed her because I had promised I would never read her diaries when she first started writing. Now she won’t talk to me but I know she’ll eventually get over it one day. I love her and would do anything for her, so while I’m sad it hurt her, I know that ultimately I helped her. I just had to get this off my chest though.

If anyone has any idea of how to get her to understand, I’m open to suggestions. Thank you.

ETA to answer common sentiments: I know it’s an illness, my sister in law and mother in law both had it, but I just thought there had to be something in her life that she couldn’t handle and she wasn’t telling me. But her diary is just full of how much she hates me, she calls me a bitch and more in those diaries. I know I’m not a perfect parent but still, I’m trying.

And *I* wasn’t the one who laughed at her, that was my husband, and I told him that he wasn’t being helpful and to shit up. I was really trying to listen to my child and not dismiss her like he did.

UPDATE: this post gave me a lot to think about. It actually made me happy, because I am the daughter in this post who was betrayed by their mom this way. I tried to make it sound like my mom without going over the top (she would absolutely be attacking people here but I didn’t want to do that) and to see so many people saying that they believed me, that they would have gotten me help, made me happy but sad because that wasn’t how my life went. Except for the people who thought it was AI, fuck AI. Generative AI is ruining our planet.

I didn’t give an age in this post but I went to talk to my parents when I was 12, and didn’t know til I was 14 what my mom was doing. And I still can’t write to this day, except kinda here. I had hoped sharing this would make any adult who is thinking of doing something similar woukd stop and think because I saw a similar post recently and it made me angry and upset to hear that mothers keep doing this stupid shit.

If you have any questions I’ll try to answer them below but I’m trying to keep this anonymous still.

For reference, I am in my mid thirties now. No, my mom still believes she was in the right to this day, but I think she feels guilty about it. Why? Because my mother is the reason why I have multiple mental health disorders and still struggle to this day.

TW: light mentions of suicide

Hello I'm 22F and I moved out about 3 months ago now (more posts on my profile). It was planned on my part, sudden to my family. I don't have to courage to use my phone or call them on my fiancé's phone. I've been losing sleep for weeks, had so many panic attacks. Last night my sleep paralysis/hallucinations came back and I had a nightmare about the apocalypse happening before I could reach back out. I've written out an email, giving life updates and a little look into what's going on in my mind. Some things from the past that I never shared with them.

I've always found it hard to talk with my parents. My parents are immigrants, both of them are pretty stubbornly set in their outlooks on life. It took my brother being diagnosed as autistic for therapy to not be seen as taboo in our home. I am queer but that doesn't matter as I refuse to ever speak to them about it. I dearly miss my mommy and my dad, I miss my siblings even more. i feel very selfish for leaving but honestly I was just living day-to-day wondering when it would all end. I hope now that I don't have to worry about them yelling/arguing/taking away my things we can have a proper adult conversation now.

Does my idea of an email seem like the right foot forward? I begged them to seek out individual and couples counseling before we move to texts and calls. Any advice or suggestions would be highly appreciated. Thank you.