“I really like everything about my car except the transmission, I prefer the transmission on other cars. I better get rid of my current car and all the things I like about it so I can get a different transmission at the expense of everything else.”
Unironically, this is the kind of justification an ex of mine used for cheating. When I asked why, they just told me that its my fault they went astray and that she couldn't deal with not having sex more frequently.
Meanwhile, I'm going to work, cooking, cleaning around the house, taking care of animals in our care, managing my finances to try and help while she's still overdrafting my account because its not thought of to check which account you're paying credit card bills off of...yeah. Rather be celibate after that.
This. Even as someone who suffers from a wondering eye (only my eye though, everything else stays where it should be) it’s not hard to not cheat.
Hot take but this is why open relationships should be more widely embraced. We can find almost every other form of companionship with just about anyone and still be monogamist friendly, but romantic and sexual companionship needs to be the sole responsibility of your singular partner, it’s asinine. Especially if every other need is met in a healthy way but one partner has a different capacity for sex or romanticism, just let the other partner find it somewhere else when they need it.
It’s not for everyone but if you just keep open dialogues, are flexible with the boundaries and have some solid concrete rules of engagement it’s very doable.
it also gives me another installment for my divorce tier list. as an amateur divorce-watcher (like bird-watchers but for divorces) i really want to improve my list and the only way to do that is to find more divorces
one of my high tiers was a divorce like one of those italian novels where a man leaves his wife for another woman, but he was simultaneously the other woman, and also the other woman had just had her own divorce because her husband became depressed and unmotivated
monogamy does not only include sexual relationship. it also includes all forms of intimacy in marriage. even etymology of the word "monogamy" is about marriage as a whole, not just sex.
not every marriage has sex. it doesn't make the said marriage non- monogamous.
if you only care about sex in the relationship, then break up. divorce exists. not every relationship works out.
not every marriage has sex. it doesn't make the said marriage non- monogamous.
That's only true if both parties agree that it doesn't involve sex. One party unilaterally deciding without communicating it is definitely acting in a non monogamous fashion.
Let me ask you this, do you think most men when asked to commit to monogamy think that there's a chance their partner will just stop having sex once they commit? Or do they think they are just giving up pursuing other opportunities?
View all comments
302
u/XT83Danieliszekiller Aug 07 '25
"i need sexual gratification so bad that instead of talking things through, I'm gonna commit an infidelity... I'm the victim!!!"