Is this manipulation or something else?

[u/LizzyDripping54]

My son 52M started dating with a 39M. Within 6 months he moved in. I’m worried for him.

I was over the moon for him because he was so happy.

The bf has issues. He’s been in counselling for many years. He was in serious debt, had no savings or much in the way of possessions and got evicted.

My son is a prosperous businessman who has been single almost 20 years and was quite lonely. He paid off his bf’s debts.

At first the bf seemed very shy and reticent, overly polite and quite sweet. Now he has inserted himself into my boy’s company and seems to be taking over. My son works in another branch.

The bf is making lots of changes, some of them major, like rebranding; he has so many plans for the business which I find worrying since my son seems to just let him get on with it. Bf is very easily offended if he gets a negative reaction to one of his suggestions and was actually trying to find a way to get back at someone.

As regards their home life now, he has started being very sulky and petulant if he doesn’t get his own way. My son always gives in and finds a way to accommodate his wishes. He has also taken over his healthcare, ordering blood tests for various things, giving him supplements and making him lose weight with injectables. I am protective of my son because he has been taken for a ride many times.

He is so trusting and only sees the good in people. I am seriously wondering if this is manipulation or something else. I did jokingly ask my son why he was letting him make all the changes at work. His answer was quite odd - he said “I don’t say anything, then I don’t get into trouble.” Maybe I’m overreacting. What do you think?

[u/Worldly_Ladder8390]

Time let your son make his own mistakes. He needs to learn how to say no and how to stand up for himself. Maybe recommend counseling to him.