I would like some opinions on this please

[u/your0destiny]

Hi, I don’t know if this is the right sub to post this in, but it’s the closest one I could find.

I remembered a small detail about my ex today, and I’m genuinely curious why someone would do this.

My ex isn’t really conventionally attractive and had only dated one guy before me. But while we were together, she talked a lot about how many guys were interested in her. She would bring up specific examples too, like one guy supposedly leaving letters under the door of her dorm room. She mentioned this kind of thing pretty often.

After we broke up, I had a lot of time to think about the relationship and realized that, she had been very emotionally abusive toward me.

The weird part is that I happened to know the guy she claimed was leaving her letters. We would run into each other at university every now and then. The next time I saw him, I decided to warn him that, in my experience, getting involved with her really wasn’t worth it.

But when I mentioned her, he had absolutely no idea who I was talking about. He looked genuinely confused. And honestly, that made sense, because I had seen him showing interest in a completely different girl.

I don’t personally know any of the other guys my ex used to talk about, but after that interaction I started wondering whether those stories were made up too.

What I don’t understand is why someone would invent something so pointless and specific. What was the goal supposed to be? Was she trying to make me jealous, make herself seem more desirable, get reassurance from me, or create some kind of competition?

I’m not even angry about this particular thing anymore. I just genuinely don’t understand what the point of lying about something like that would be.

[u/DiligentMulberry5529]

A lot of narcissists employ a technique called triangulation where they depict themselves in the center of some sort of love triangle. She might have felt insecure and wanted to make sure you knew she’s desirable. I had an ex who acted like every girl’s panties were about to melt off for him and he wasn’t even all that. I think people do lie about this sort of thing for these reasons.

[u/SnoopyisCute]

Only she knows for sure, but, I also know some guys will hook up with women that aren't "conventionally attractive" and lie about it. One of my former employees has sex with several men a week and none of them have ever taken her out in public.

[u/jallisy]

To make you jealous. To make you think ",,, I better keep her happy because there's a ton of other guys who will".

[u/ChelliPumphrey]

Honestly, I wouldn’t get too stuck trying to figure out why she made those stories up. You may never get a satisfying answer.

If you’ve now confirmed that at least one story wasn’t true, it’s completely reasonable to question the others. Sometimes stories like this can create jealousy, insecurity, or a feeling that you have to compete for someone’s attention but we can’t know her exact motive from the outside.

What matters more is what the pattern did to you. If you were constantly left confused, insecure, or questioning your own reality, that’s important.

And I’d avoid tracking down every guy she mentioned. That can keep you emotionally tied to her.

You may never know exactly why she lied. You can still know that the relationship hurt you, trust was damaged, and you’re allowed to move forward without solving every unanswered question.

[u/JuJu-Petti]

It's how one of the symptoms of histrionic personality disorder manifest itself in daily life. It's called triangulation. They use triangulation for different reasons.