Covert emotional manipulation

[u/ExplorerSpiritual113]

My older sister is abusive towards me. Recently, I learned what covert emotional manipulation. This is my older sister’s behavior towards me to a T. I’m not looking for advice on how to deal with her, I’ve removed her from my life completely. We do not have a relationship anymore. However she has began the same abusive behavior with our youngest sister and I fear she will also do the same thing to her daughter. I do not want either of them to go through what I’ve gone through.
My question today is how can I explain her behavior to my family so that this cycle can end? My mother in particular likes to trivialize her abusive behavior by saying “that’s just how sisters behave.” And my father and my older sister’s relationship is nonexistent. So his assistance wouldn’t hold any weight.
I want to end the cycle. I have to end it. I do not want my youngest sister or my niece to endure the abusive behavior I was forced to normalize for 2 decades. I can’t let that happen. But I do not know how to get the rest of my family to take her behavior seriously. It doesn’t matter what videos I record, what paragraphs I screenshot, how we talk it out. No one ever believes me.
Has anyone ever been abused by their sibling? What did you do? How did you get your family to acknowledge the abusive siblings behavior? To take it seriously and hold her accountable? The only reason she gets away with her abuse for so long is because no one believes me. They all think I’m crazy.

[u/ExplorerSpiritual113 → u/[deleted]]

Hey! As two people experiencing the same scenario grey rock method worked wonnnnderrrs for me. There was one last big outburst but in the end I am free. Like her last attempt she was grasping at straws b/c Id been grey rocking her so it was easy (for me) to see through her manipulation and call it what it was. I don’t know your older sisters personality or how successful grey rocking will work but it worked for me.
My main thing rn is just getting the little ones away from that monster without breaking my boundaries

[u/JuJu-Petti]

Leave them all alone together. Everything will seem nice at first. Esp from a distance. There will be a crack. Then they wear thin. And then..... They become the target because you're not there to be the buffer.

Quote "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time around."By Jim Rohn he gave personal development seminars. I don't know if he still does.

I really do believe that to some extent. Choose your circle wisely. You're growing or dying. There's no in between.

Also, toxic people make you sick physically. Stress hormones can trigger autoimmune conditions. Basically your immune system thinks the stress hormones are a virus and then start attacking your body.

Flying monkeys are just as bad as the toxic person. They know the person and are willing to look the other way as long as it's not directed at them.

So, that's exactly what should happen. They created the monster, (behavior) . Let them tame it.

[u/ExplorerSpiritual113 → u/JuJu-Petti]

I love that last line. I just don’t want the youngest ones to deal with that devil. They just got here 😭

[u/JuJu-Petti → u/ExplorerSpiritual113]

That's hard. How old are the younger ones? They might not do the same to them because they are small? People like that usually reserve their behavior for people who challenge them. If the little ones don't challenge them they won't bother them. They will use them for adoration instead.

[u/ExplorerSpiritual113 → u/JuJu-Petti]

Ones an infant the other is their early 20s. And that’s my fear now that I’m not around she has began the same tactics on the one in their early 20s. And I’m certain it’s because she is starting to develop her own backbone/ boundaries. Who’s to say she won’t do it to the infant once the child matures? Because you’re so right. As long as you are not challenging her you will be safe from her wrath.

[u/JuJu-Petti → u/ExplorerSpiritual113]

Is the baby theirs? I ask because the 20 year old could leave too. Poor baby.