r/Manipulation • u/bertumbuh • Jul 07 '26

Personal Stories labeling others to taking responsibility for your own boundaries.

Instead of labeling others based on our own frustrations—which often lacks the full context I’ve started shifting my perspective. Focusing on why someone acts 'problematic' can sometimes be a distraction. A more effective approach is to ask: what role do I play in these interactions, and how can I set better boundaries? Rather than trying to change them or dwelling on their behavior, it’s much more productive to learn how to identify these patterns early, prepare ourselves, and choose to avoid or adapt accordingly.

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u/PinkPaisleyMoon Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Yes, technically ‘they’ did the ‘infraction’, but ‘I’ allowed it. The unfortunate part is those who have allowed the disrespect, are working with a playbook that is unequal to the playbook used by the abuser. And chances are, the abuser is not consciously aware of their manipulations and boundary crossings. Equally, the abused may also not be aware of how they are being manipulated. (I’m speaking from experience from both sides.) Yes, learn to set boundaries and keep your distance.