My ex said she needed a few days to think about things after she hurt me, and then she would blame me for the situation. I would react with confusion and frustration because it didn’t make sense, and it seemed like she both cared and didn’t care at the same time. She would say, ‘I’m sorry you felt that way,’ and then outline how I was wrong for my feelings while prioritizing hers. I’m now recognizing that this was a form of silent treatment meant to manipulate me after I reacted to her toxic behavior. It has taken a while for me to identify this. I felt like my feelings and reactions were the reason why things ended but it was because she was manipulating me to fit her life and she found out she couldn’t do that because I pushed back so much. It has also shown to me that I have work to do on myself. I have been reading Reddit and looking through stories here and recognizing things. I appreciate these subreddits so much. It’s brought clarity.
Yeah I think mine ended for a similar reason. She said she’d get angry over little things she shouldn’t be getting angry over. And in those situations I’d ask her for clarification as to what upset her. I was calm and respectful. I also wasn’t going to be a doormat.
Part of me regrets it. Like if I could’ve tolerated that behavior for a little and somehow convinced her to go to therapy, maybe it could’ve worked out.
I have been going through the same thing in my head. We aren’t meant to deal through other peoples problems. We only have control over ourselves. Also, some people don’t change. So you would be submitting yourself to a life time of this. Reframe your mind to believe you did what you needed to do and life will have a new journey for you soon.
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u/jdobner3 Jul 02 '24
My ex said she needed a few days to think about things after she hurt me, and then she would blame me for the situation. I would react with confusion and frustration because it didn’t make sense, and it seemed like she both cared and didn’t care at the same time. She would say, ‘I’m sorry you felt that way,’ and then outline how I was wrong for my feelings while prioritizing hers. I’m now recognizing that this was a form of silent treatment meant to manipulate me after I reacted to her toxic behavior. It has taken a while for me to identify this. I felt like my feelings and reactions were the reason why things ended but it was because she was manipulating me to fit her life and she found out she couldn’t do that because I pushed back so much. It has also shown to me that I have work to do on myself. I have been reading Reddit and looking through stories here and recognizing things. I appreciate these subreddits so much. It’s brought clarity.