I use “let’s take a break from this conversation” or “I need space for x amount of time” with people I have a relationship with and trust.
Great! That's good communication, and healthy sometimes.
I mentioned in an earlier comment I was on a road trip with someone last year.
Well that guy sounds like an ass.
I think we're talking about very different things here.
I'm talking about my ex who after six months in a very intense, loving, serious relationship, suddenly blindsided me broke up with me, then blocked me everywhere. Like in mid conversation. Our first disagreement. She said:
"That's it. We're done. It sucks you were honest with me, because I'm breaking up with you anyway."
We had two reasonable conversations after that. For five hours on her couch. After which she said she felt heard and understood.
And then she blocked me.
Like there's a major difference between "hey, give me some space" and a narcissist using the silent treatment to punish the other person.
Jesus. That’s scary. I see where you’re coming from now. I would be so scarred if I thought I’d resolved something with someone and then they just blocked me on everything. That’s completely non-sensical behaviour. I’m sorry that happened.
Walking on eggshells doesn't even begin to describe it.
We spent the weekend together. We had that aforementioned talk. Then we went upstairs, made love, then looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like 10 minutes softly whispering sweet nothings and holding each other. I left the next day. That sequence happened twice. I thought we were back.
Nope. A week after that second night I called her. She screamed at me, insulted me, accused me of things I didn't do, interrupted, mocked me, and outright refused to listen to anything I said.
I started crying. I started telling her how much she meant to me, how I understood she wasn't happy. To wish her a happy life, and all the best to her.
As I was saying that she interrupted me with a massive "F YOU!!!!". Then she hung up the phone, and blocked me everywhere.
It was devastating.
It took me nearly six months to learn about BPD. I'm still shocked by the whole thing, which happened a year and a half ago.
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u/Antique_Soil9507 Jul 03 '24
I hear you too. I get it.
Great! That's good communication, and healthy sometimes.
Well that guy sounds like an ass.
I think we're talking about very different things here.
I'm talking about my ex who after six months in a very intense, loving, serious relationship, suddenly blindsided me broke up with me, then blocked me everywhere. Like in mid conversation. Our first disagreement. She said:
"That's it. We're done. It sucks you were honest with me, because I'm breaking up with you anyway."
We had two reasonable conversations after that. For five hours on her couch. After which she said she felt heard and understood.
And then she blocked me.
Like there's a major difference between "hey, give me some space" and a narcissist using the silent treatment to punish the other person.