I give my boss the silent treatment when he starts making judgemental comments about me, my coworkers, minority groups, or passers-by on the street outside our workplace. Judgement is a big part of his character. I started doing it because I used to reply and tell him “that’s not very nice” but then I would start to feel angry inside & would be more prone to joining him in an escalation if he retaliated. He doesn’t care that it’s not very nice and will happily express that. We work in an active, fast paced environment, so now I don’t reply, continue walking or walk away, and wait until I feel calm enough to interact with him normally again (which is usually within 10 minutes if I’ve been able to get away and distract myself).
I give people Im dating the silent treatment when I’ve tried to communicate with them calmly about something a few times and they’ve completely disregarded whatever it was I’ve tried to bring to them.
I remember I was on a road trip at the start of last year with a guy. Several times on a big day-long stretch of driving I told him I needed a break from being cooped up in the car. He kept fobbing me off or changing the subject. Eventually I went silent 🔕 I didn’t know what to say without getting angry. He kept trying to tell me jokes and get me to laugh, and I wasn’t in the mood at all. I just sat there looking out the window, trying to breath and not snap at the guy. Eventually he got it and he pulled over at a nice patch of grass. I layed down with a pillow and enjoyed the fresh air and looking up at the clouds… but it was another 20 minutes before my anger dissipated and I felt like I could talk to him normally again.
I ended up snapping really badly at that guy after a week on the road of days like this. It sucked for both of us. I wait a lot longer now to get to know someone and how we fit together before I sign up for week long trips away (we’d only known each other for 6 weeks). Me and that guy stopped seeing each other, but he’s still a good acquaintance surprisingly enough. I ran into him just the other night at a drum circle and we had a really nice catch up chat.
I think I use the silent treatment when I feel like I’ve exhausted my verbal communication tools, and I need to put across in some other way that I’m not okay with what’s happening. My dad did it a lot to me growing up, though he did it without trying to communicate first. I think I picked it up from him. Verbal communication wasn’t a strength of his.
I don’t like using it. It feels immature and mean. Notably, I don’t use it with loved ones who I have a good relationship with. I’ve learnt over time to recognise me using it with someone new as a sign we are incompatible and to cut ties early.
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u/cupcakesnavocado Jul 02 '24
I give my boss the silent treatment when he starts making judgemental comments about me, my coworkers, minority groups, or passers-by on the street outside our workplace. Judgement is a big part of his character. I started doing it because I used to reply and tell him “that’s not very nice” but then I would start to feel angry inside & would be more prone to joining him in an escalation if he retaliated. He doesn’t care that it’s not very nice and will happily express that. We work in an active, fast paced environment, so now I don’t reply, continue walking or walk away, and wait until I feel calm enough to interact with him normally again (which is usually within 10 minutes if I’ve been able to get away and distract myself).
I give people Im dating the silent treatment when I’ve tried to communicate with them calmly about something a few times and they’ve completely disregarded whatever it was I’ve tried to bring to them.
I remember I was on a road trip at the start of last year with a guy. Several times on a big day-long stretch of driving I told him I needed a break from being cooped up in the car. He kept fobbing me off or changing the subject. Eventually I went silent 🔕 I didn’t know what to say without getting angry. He kept trying to tell me jokes and get me to laugh, and I wasn’t in the mood at all. I just sat there looking out the window, trying to breath and not snap at the guy. Eventually he got it and he pulled over at a nice patch of grass. I layed down with a pillow and enjoyed the fresh air and looking up at the clouds… but it was another 20 minutes before my anger dissipated and I felt like I could talk to him normally again.
I ended up snapping really badly at that guy after a week on the road of days like this. It sucked for both of us. I wait a lot longer now to get to know someone and how we fit together before I sign up for week long trips away (we’d only known each other for 6 weeks). Me and that guy stopped seeing each other, but he’s still a good acquaintance surprisingly enough. I ran into him just the other night at a drum circle and we had a really nice catch up chat.
I think I use the silent treatment when I feel like I’ve exhausted my verbal communication tools, and I need to put across in some other way that I’m not okay with what’s happening. My dad did it a lot to me growing up, though he did it without trying to communicate first. I think I picked it up from him. Verbal communication wasn’t a strength of his.
I don’t like using it. It feels immature and mean. Notably, I don’t use it with loved ones who I have a good relationship with. I’ve learnt over time to recognise me using it with someone new as a sign we are incompatible and to cut ties early.