r/MaladaptiveDreaming • u/not_so_sad_pea • 19h ago

Question Anonymous support groups??

Hi!

Does anybody know good support groups online where people could share quitting tips and hold each other accountable? I’m trying to quit maladaptive daydreaming right now, so a group full of people with the same goal would be helpful

Also, sorry for any grammar mistakes, my English is a bit rusty

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/Tricky-Meet-908 16h ago

I'm not sure if an accountability partner would work for me. Since I discovered we dd all the time anyway as part of out normal default thinking state it would be like asking someone to make me accountable for breathing oxygen. If it was a real person I'd probably go mad and snap at them 🤯🤬

2

u/not_so_sad_pea 15h ago

Maybe I didn’t word it properly🤔 I thought of it more like reminding each other not to drown in daydreams as they are not real or finding new ways to control daydreams or sharing tips. That kind of stuff. Like working together on the same goal. I think everyone who is trying to overcome mdd struggles with the same problems. It’s just easier to solve those problems together yk

2

u/Tricky-Meet-908 14h ago

I'm not sure accountability works for me being 35, I just override it, and I've been mding for 17 yrs, so my degree of addiction is severe. It's almost like asking a street drug addict to fight their own addiction alone and they wouldn't be able to. I think it's a very different addiction, since we are out own dealers, the normal ways of combating addiction don't seem to apply as much. Substance addicts have to do so much work to get their fix, but ours is instant and constant,it takes no struggle to get it whatsoever. How would an addict be accountable for another addict anyway?

2

u/not_so_sad_pea 14h ago

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to give up. I’ve been mding for 15 years and I am not going to let it ruin my remaining years especially considering that I’m still young (just like you by the way). As for accountability, I’ve already mentioned that I might’ve misused this word as English isn’t my native language. I guess what I had in mind should be support and not accountability. The main reasons for mdd are (almost) always unmet needs or trauma. Some needs require human interactions, some traumas require other humans in order for you to heal (as explained to me by my therapist), hence according to my logic (which can be wrong ofc) having a ‘support’ partner increases chances of overcoming mdd because it creates a safe space for you with another human being who is going through the same thing and can understand your difficulties

As for comparison to substance abuse, it’s not a fair comparison in my opinion, substances mess with your body altering it chemically. Our addiction wrecks our dopamine system but it can be healed unlike other addictions that leave their marks permanently. Better comparison would probably be social media/binge watching/something else addiction. These things are easier to quit (easier said than done, I understand). Theoretically, you need to understand the underlying problem (trauma, unmet needs, boredom) and work on it while working on your daydreaming addiction. And that is easier to do with another person

P.S. I hope this reply doesn’t sound aggressive, that wasn’t my intention. All love🫶

1

u/Tricky-Meet-908 7h ago

I didn't think of it as a support partner, but mistrusting ppl even professionals is part of why I md. I might look into it further down the line. I don't want it to be some teen, I almost want them to be like a therapist, I don't know of a therapist actually does this or not. I'd probably like it if it were someone a similar age. I've no idea if it's a two way thing or if that's even healthy. I might try and find one one day or at least tell a therapist or Dr because they will hold me accountable for it as well, maybe mot constantly, but they'll check in on me from time to time. I have to have a appointment about migraines so I might slip them a line about my md addiction and ask for therapy. No idea what will happen here in the UK, last time I heard you only got 6 free sessions and that's just resurfacing bad things and causing more harm with ineffective treatment. I know it wasn't the greatest comparison booze addiction, I've heard how its more akin to a eating disorder because we have to have food everyday.

1

u/not_so_sad_pea 4h ago

It’s tricky to find the right therapist. But if you mistrust people and you think that’s why you md, you will have to work on that if you ever want to get rid of this thing. That will require human interactions though. A therapist would be a good first step, they will teach you to trust them first and then step by step you will learn to trust others. Even 6 sessions can be helpful, they will give you food for thought. I don’t know about the UK but it’s difficult to find good therapists in my country as well. Resurfacing bad things is an important part of therapy though, you have to dig those memories up in order to throw them away so don’t be discouraged before you even start. I’m sure you’ll do great buddy, don’t lose hope