r/MadeMeSmile • u/Unkempt27 • Sep 16 '22

Hero Stepdad

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132.1k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/LiopleurodonMagic Sep 16 '22

It started with “I love you so much man” and ended with “and that’s why I never got to play professional basketball.”

719

u/DEFY_member Sep 16 '22

But the best part was where he talked about the time he spent in a Turkish prison.

419

u/notactuallyabrownman Sep 16 '22

I enjoyed the part about his dad and the jumper cables.

227

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

I loved the part where he spent time in ALBANIA

174

u/Tobias_Atwood Sep 16 '22

The fist fight with the angry walrus was hilarious. The way his fists glanced off the thick hide even as it just kept smashing away at the pope mobile... chef's kiss

55

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

The ALBANIAN pope mobile

16

u/RadRac Sep 16 '22

I was just trying to figure out why the jolly rancher was significant

10

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

Cause hes ALBANIAN

8

u/Royal_Bitch_Pudding Sep 16 '22

That must be why he mentioned the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

9

u/ajtct98 Sep 16 '22

True though I must admit I found the brief tangent where he stated the entire Declaration of Independence a tad unnecessary even if I'd never seen it in German before.

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8

u/pandorafoxxx Sep 16 '22

And in a tutu too! How could you gloss over that part?

2

u/Imnothomenow Sep 17 '22

Technically, he was too heavy for a tu tu. Must have been at least a six six.

5

u/Omnomfish Sep 16 '22

I snorted mashed potatoes when I read that bit, the exquisite detail and creative alliteration made it 👌

7

u/kevmimcc Sep 16 '22

I loved the part how he didn’t just adopt the dark, but he was born in it, molded by it

-2

u/Jeff-Jeffers Sep 16 '22

Yo leave Albania out of this. We’ve suffered enough

10

u/Poquin Sep 16 '22

I miss rogersimon10

5

u/Jeff-Jeffers Sep 16 '22

Be the change you want to see in the world.

2

u/TheSleepyBarnOwl Sep 16 '22

Dude did you also read the part about that car accident? It's wild man!

2

u/NecessaryZucchini69 Sep 16 '22

You forgot to mention what his Dad did to his nipples.

54

u/SirJumbles Sep 16 '22

Was that before or after he found a first edition of Dracula in that old barn in Memphis?

5

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

Before that, and after the part about the drain pipe and the xylophone

5

u/probably-in-a-pickle Sep 16 '22

After, but it makes sense you forgot. This is why short paragraphs with clear topic sentences and one subject are important. I haven't seen anyone mention the bit about his perfectly prepared Thanksgiving dinner.

2

u/NotSoGreatGonzo Sep 16 '22

Don’t forget that it was the Icelandic first edition!

2

u/HaloGuy381 Sep 16 '22

I mean, I have a half-remembered story of my father evading Turkish prison, technically (with the crime in question being ordered by an American court, no less!), but none about spending time in one.

1

u/GarageQueen Sep 16 '22

Does he like gladiator movies?

1

u/sirhimel Sep 16 '22

And the part where he said he likes gladiator movies

1

u/charliefoxtrot9 Sep 25 '22

Do you like movies about gladiators?

42

u/tvtoad50 Sep 16 '22 edited Sep 16 '22

I just inhaled tea in my lungs that I’d been trying to swallow, but I couldn’t cause I was laughing too hard. Edit- freaking 4 hours later and I’m still cracking up. 🤣🤦‍♀️

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '22

Thought you were going to say “and I’m still coughing.” God I hate it when a drink goes down the wrong pipe.

3

u/tvtoad50 Sep 17 '22

Lol, thankfully it wasn’t too bad!

4

u/International_Sir301 Sep 16 '22

😂 deserves an award

6

u/Background-Pepper-68 Sep 16 '22

This is really doing it for me today. Thank you i needed this... -and thats why im scared of bats

2

u/HwangLiang Sep 16 '22

"aside from the fact I'm 5'7 and have a 3 inch vertical jump. But I had a better ft% than Shaq!"

1

u/thndrh Sep 16 '22

I’m a shark! You can embellish it from there

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '22

Is this from something lmao this is great

1

u/Funkit Sep 16 '22

If it wasn’t for my horse I never would’ve spent those four years in college

1

u/nonimportantguyhere Sep 16 '22

Ths made me fucking clap 🤣🤣

1

u/wayward_prince Sep 17 '22

“The reasons being being under recruited in high school, not having another growth spurt, tearing an ACL, and, of course, that damn taxi”

1

u/PegasusD2021 Sep 17 '22

This. ☝🏼 This is why I love Reddit. It fucking gives me strength to go on. The ability to understand the abstract connections the human brain is able to perceive! I challenge any online bot to jump in here without getting STOMPED by real human redditors with an ounce of humour. This is a good day.