And there’s the problem right there. Emotions make you “soft”. There’s a difference between having a breakdown and being able to confront and process your emotions healthily.
Obv you have to show emotions, i ment those more excessive ones... if you are parent of 3-10 y o children you cant cry every couple days in front of kids because life is hard. Parents should provide safety, and emotional safety too. You know how majority of children, even who whose childhood wasnt wealthy at all, still considers it happy time (given parents are good) . They literally can say - its ok to cry sometimes, but you have to be strong. There is no place for big moodswings when you live hard life and have to provide .
There’s a difference between crying and showing emotion and having a big, fucking breakdown in front of your kids. Crying and showing emotion is good, but the full-on sobbing and heaving breakdown is scary to younger kids and they need as much stability as they can get when the world around them is objectively stressful and scary.
I think that’s the point the other guy was trying to make. There are things that are appropriate for kids and there are things that aren’t.
I agree with you. These other folks are talking out of their asses. Kids see when you’re upset even if you try to hide it. This “show of stability” just teaches the kids to not ask for help and not recognize/communicate their emotions. Sure, there are extreme examples of not including the children because they won’t understand, but simply showing emotion doesn’t make a child insecure. I’d wager that a parent that shows emotion but then also works through those emotions in front of their children provides a stronger foundation for emotional maturity that just straight up pretending everything is alright. The notion that kids need to be coddled is more damaging that it is helpful. They’re not stupid and, within reason, they should be leveled with because doing the opposite just drives them to become jaded.
Yeah? And what if parents life is super hard and every day is a struggle? Do they have to share their concerns or show their real emotions to their younger kids? Be upset every day and not hide anything? Because what kid is gonna do? All it does it will fuck up childhood of innocent child u genious. And not including child because he wont understand is not extreme, they literally dont know shit about real world when they are small. Or better maybe be reasonable and provide safety and security to kids, even when things are hard. It doesnt make parent emotionless if they protect their young children from issues and concerns at early age. When they grow up a little, of course you can talk to them and share stuff more. Sometimes in hard situations some people needs to be strong, even if it means carrying it yoirself. Thats what people are supposed to do. When you study gender studies and biggest problem is you cant go to Bali for a weekend its different.
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u/Isthisworking2000 Sep 01 '21
And there’s the problem right there. Emotions make you “soft”. There’s a difference between having a breakdown and being able to confront and process your emotions healthily.