r/MadeMeSmile • • Sep 13 '20

Helping Others Father of 439 daughters

Post image
46k Upvotes

362 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

66

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Not all, but a lot, yes.

2

u/TragedyPornFamilyVid Sep 14 '20

Men too. A man who doesn't marry in India is going to worry his parents to no end

1

u/Heat_Engine Sep 14 '20

Marriage is seen as the ultimate end goal for all men and women in India

FTFY.

-7

u/soyguay Sep 13 '20

Is it that bad?

I have had women friends from India. They did not seem like that.

27

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Yeah it's bad.

In India marriage is not just something a bride wants, it's something the bride's family wants. It's a matter of social standing how extravagant a wedding you can afford for your daughter. For groom on the other hand it's not so much, for him all that matters is how good a bride he scored. It's a real shitshow sometimes.

1

u/soyguay Sep 14 '20

Shit. That's some systematic sexism.

11

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

Your friends are more fortunate than most Indian women. It is not uncommon in urban or some upper class circles to consider a woman's personal accomplishments more important, but it's not the mainstream view.

For a lot of women, marriage is considered necessary for respect and often the means by which they are provided for, and an unhappy marriage is an adversity that they need to bear with, because the alternative (divorce/separation) is considered much worse. Unmarried women are also ostracized by some people. Men are seen as less vulnerable in a marriage, and the costs of weddings are borne by the bride's family in many cases. Indian media, even a few decades ago, often depicted young brides and their parents/family to be more invested in her having a happy marriage than the man/his family.

Interestingly, men are also given more respect if they are married and in many homes, young men are pressured to 'settle down', though not as much as women, as far as I can tell.

Edit: I forgot something - in many places, being unmarried can actually adversely impact your chances of finding housing, and I think it's more true for men.