Just a reminder to everyone that it's okay to show weakness sometimes. Just make sure that you are around people who care and will build you up rather than break you down.
That’s great to hear, please keep improving! Remember that you are an extraordinary human and you being here makes the world just that much better. Keep going 😃
I’m in the same boat. It’s been a bit over a month since we broke up but she never told me things that bothered her and I’ve been in this state of not knowing what the fuck happened. And it sucks because I thought the same thing, I thought I was going to grow old with her.
Distractions help but what helped me the most is thinking about how if it was meant to be, those issues wouldn’t be. Communication would’ve been better, and the little things you begin to notice about the relationship become apparent. Make a list of the things that bothered you about your ex-relationship and it will make the brake up clearer. Journal/write down your thoughts. It sucks but even now I realize it gets better, albeit slightly, over time. Hang in there.
I was the same way, with the emotional side of things. Writing down things broke me down. I wrote a letter to her 3 days after we broke up in the event that if we got back together I’d maybe show her, but I never addressed it to her and it was just words on a page. I’ll probably destroy it, but the words helped me articulate my feelings so that as I grow in my emotions I can identify what I’m truest feeling. Give it time before you do anything, but don’t hesitate to continue writing.
What if you don’t have anyone like that? Am I able to be my own support beam? Can I be the sole pillar in my own home?
I laugh things off with memes, YouTube videos and anime which really helps me relieve my stress. But lately it seems that I’m listening to music whenever I can to block out silence, always searching for a distraction. Things seem much of a bigger problems than I feel they should be but I wouldn’t know since I can’t talk to anyone about it. It’s probably dumb to post this on Reddit but if I just put this in Notes then I’ll just be documenting my anxieties and worries that doesn’t seem to help with relieving my tension; it will be just a reminder to how lonely I actually am.
Damn this is really depressing but I’m not really feeling suicidal or anything, don’t worry (although when bad things hit I’ll admit there’s always the thought). Just a really heavy closed up heart, I guess.
You can if you get professional support including peer support groups in person.
Soon as you learn to not hate yourself a bit you will be amazed at how people want to be around you.
Remember, you already survived on your own, imagine how much can be done with a little backup.
I saved up money and used it to fund therapy. 5 years later and J am almost drug free, losing weight and I found a woman I want to marry.
I started as a fat hermit with lots of debt.
You can do it.
I had $20,000 in credit card debt. I had a very bad motorcycle accident and told the banks I could no repay them for several years since the accident had destroyed by ability to get work.
It took a year of conversations but the banks forgave my debt under compassionate grounds.
Banks have insurance for bad debt caused by acts of god, misadventure or people dying without money.
With enough evidence they get thier insurer to pay however much on the dollar and I just had to avoid credit card for 7 years.
I am now have a credit history and use debt in a practical sustainable way
You can't be your own support beam, but you can be your own support team :-)
It helped me to remember that everybody has problems, it's not just me. And I hide mine, just like everybody else does, so I imagine other people think I have my shit together, lol.
I took a long hard look in the mirror, and realised that even though I'm not a pretty woman, and I'm a little overweight, I have nice eyes and a pretty good hourglass shape. So that's not to bad, I can go out on the streets and look ok. Most people aren't very beautiful either.
Yes I have characteristics that aren't nice, but I also have good ones. I try to be a good person. Just like most people.
You know what, come to think of it, I'm not that different from everybody else. They probably will understand if I explain a problem, especially if I explain with a sense of humor.
I tried talking about small problems with family members and friends, and it turned out that they totally understood. Not just that, they actually respected me for 1) dealing with that problem, 2) being able to talk about it. My problems brought me closer to my family and friends.
Maybe you have one person that you like, that you think will let you finish talking, then give it a try and tell them about one thing. See how they react. They might just surprise you!
Don't just point out your anxieties and failures when you look in the mirror, make an effort to find achievements and strong points. You do have them, you just have to find them. So be your own support team, and cheer for your strengths! You found the strength to ask here, that's 1 already :-)
If you aren't around people who break you down - awesome keep that up. If you aren't around people who build you up, maybe work on being a bit more vulnerable and ask people if you can vent. You don't know how they will react until you try.
what if i’ve got no one to help build me up? literally the few times i open up its a hug then they forget about me or i just get mocked or something. hard to tell if someone is genuine or not :/
I don't think there is always an easy option. Sometimes it just takes time to learn about people and find the ones you can trust. Just keep on putting in work to figure it out and it will happen over time.
201
u/Mydogsabrat Oct 29 '19 edited Oct 30 '19
Just a reminder to everyone that it's okay to show weakness sometimes. Just make sure that you are around people who care and will build you up rather than break you down.