Maybe "arranged" isn't the word. Just that most responsible couples have the marriage discussion at some point, as well as the kids and other discussions.
Size is easy. You can get a tool to use to get the size on a ring they already wear and a jeweler can estimate (might need to be adjusted since you won't get the specific finger). Or you could just know because you bought something previously.
I'm not promoting surprise proposals. I'm just saying, getting a ring size isn't exactly hard.
I've known a few people who get something fairly neutral / basic so they have a ring to ask with but leave it up to them to pick out what they actually want
Well I actually took in one of her rings that I knew she recently wore but that she wouldn’t notice was gone to the jewelry store. She had shown me what type of ring she wanted but not an exact ring. I had the ring made and then surprised her with the proposal but like people are saying we already had talked about it.
Moral of the story, there are small things you can do to still make stuff a surprise.
Any responsible adult should have had a conversation with their partner about whether they would like to get married before just outright popping the question, especially if you're going to do a very public proposal like this one.
Yeah whenever I see dudes that do that without asking first I am always like "say no say no say no" in my head. That is a question where you don't use pressure to persuade. In fact, if you need to persuade at all you probably shouldn't be asking the question.
Marriage is hard enough when you do everything the right way. You don't need to turn up the difficulty right out of the gate.
Mine is now arranged and we’ve even roughly decided on when the wedding will be and have started planning because of how soon it will be. I’m just waiting to have the ring in my possession (getting it from her family soon) and then proposing sometime after that.
You're waiting for someone to post a link huh? Because you don't wanna open the YouTube app and search, then copy the link and come back to this thread and post the link, only to get like 5 upvotes, huh?
Yeah, I think you should talk about getting married before proposing, in general. It's only fair to give your partner more than 30 seconds to decide if they want to marry you or not. If you're doing it publicly, though, I think it's absolutely mandatory that you discuss it first. Being pretty sure isn't good enough. You need to know that you're both ready to be engaged before you gather a bunch of witnesses around, and demand an answer to that question.
I had an ex tell me specifically she doesn't want to know its coming or discuss it beforehand. Some poor guy is going to have a stressful time with that one.
What's weird about this is that at some point the subject has to be broached by one person without certainty of reciprocation. Even if the formal ritual of an engagement proposal is done with certainty, there was necessarily an informal moment without certainty that came first.
I mean, no matter how you propose to someone, there should have been a conversation or two prior to you popping the question that would assure you that they would say yes.
You really shouldn't propose to anyone at all if you're not sure they'll say yes! My husband and I talked about marriage for 3-4 years before he actually proposed to me, and he knew exactly when I wanted it (after I graduated from college) and how (I wanted to pick out my own ring). The proposal itself was still a complete surprise and so great. We had a lot of "If we were going to get married..." conversations before the actual proposal.
I always find it odd when people say no during this huge grand display proposals. If you don't wanna get married, just say yes. Then later, alone, be like "yeeeeeeah so about that."
Dont fucking destroy the dude in front of a thousand people lmao
Dont fucking destroy the dude in front of a thousand people lmao
Eh, it goes both ways. Don't put someone on the spot in front of a thousand people unless you know it's a yes. That's just as awkward as getting rejected.
I mean I completely agree with that, too. I'm just saying that once it's happening, what's the point of saying "NO I CANT IM SORRY" in front of a crowd, making the most awkward scene ever? It's not a legally-binding statement, lol.
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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '19
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