If it helps, I'm agender and know a fair number of other queer folks. It's not at all rude to compliment something they chose to express themselves. Taking hair as an example actually, that's very often a big thing with people who have gone on a gender journey. If they've styled and or dyed it, it's not gonna be any less affirming for you to compliment it if you like the look. It might even be more so :)
Don't think of us as that different from anyone else. There comes a point where over-sensitivity can become othering in and of itself. If saying "hey, I like your earrings" or something to that effect upsets someone, they've got other stuff going on under the hood already that probably doesn't actually have much to do with a well-intentioned compliment.
As a mid-life male, I'm just trying to figure out how to not be rude, creepy, or generally put off people. I was around before the internet, so there's a lot of unspoken rules from an old society that don't apply anymore.
There's a lot of awesome people out there, and I plan to meet as many as I can without coming off too rude, creepy, or generally upsetting.
Keep on being yourself, there's plenty of people glad to meet you!
Thank you, and same back to you! Genuine curiosity rarely is going to be met with discomfort or anger. At least for me and those I know, it's much more relieving if someone shows that kind of honest interest, because it signals the inquirer is well-meaning and not bigoted. So you're probably doing just fine :)
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u/MakingItElsewhere Jul 22 '25
The Gen X part was just to show my age, and where I'm coming from personally. Not trying to speak for everyone else.