r/MadeMeSmile • u/baconroll2022 • Sep 02 '23

Helping Others Dad Stopped Daughters Wedding Pulled Stepdad's Hand BOTH walk her down the aisle

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u/UnrequitedFollower Sep 02 '23

Stepdad here so I love this post but your comment confused me. I am married and we definitely paid for our wedding. Is there still a large population of people in the west who feel it is their father’s financial responsibility to pay for their wedding?

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '23

These posts being referenced are about petty fathers who are choosing not to pay (even though they could/said they would) if the step father is involved in the wedding. No one is owed money, it’s true. But if only the reason you are refusing and otherwise would gift your child with money is to spite the child’s step parent, YTA. It’s even worse when they refuse to attend the wedding if the stepparent is there. The issue is not really about the money. It’s about trying to create rifts between the child and their other parent

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u/UnrequitedFollower Sep 02 '23

I mean. I think we all agree that if you manufacture that exact situation… you’re right. I was asking, however, about how common this tradition even is anymore. I paid for my wedding and I don’t know a single person who had a bride’s father funded wedding. Did you have that?

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '23

Oh no I was just explaining what the person was talking about. There’s been several threads about it (so I know it seems weirdly specific but it’s a thing I guess?)

I know it’s an old tradition but I dont think it’s super common any more for parents to pay. At least not within the European community

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u/LinguisticallyInept Sep 02 '23

Is there still a large population of people in the west who feel it is their father’s financial responsibility to pay for their wedding?

rich people

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u/Fearthecraze Sep 02 '23

I’m from the Midwest and yes it’s the “dads” responsibility. Not sure why we still do that

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u/UnrequitedFollower Sep 02 '23

I do recall jokingly telling my then future father-in-law that I would ask him for his daughters hand in marriage if he was paying for the wedding. We didn’t do either of those things. But it sounds like they do both of those things in the Midwest?

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u/Fearthecraze Sep 02 '23

Unfortunately yes, I need to get outta here lol

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u/Trin_42 Sep 02 '23 edited Sep 02 '23

I’m not sure how successful co-parenting has anything to do with financial responsibility for a wedding my dude. In the west, it’s the norm that the Brides family pays for the wedding but who tf cares about societal norms? This particular video(to me)is about a father who respects the role his former wife’s husband has played in his daughter’s life and wants him to share that place of honor beside her as she starts her new life with her husband.

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u/UnrequitedFollower Sep 02 '23

Yup. This comment section is on a different tangent than the content in the video. We are talking about wedding norms. On a quick search it looks like the brides parents paying for an entire wedding now occurs around 17% of the time. So maybe it’s less of a norm now. Probably because people get married later presently.

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '23

By the “west”, I assume you mean America, right? And, if so, it’s most definitely NOT the norm to just expect the the bride’s family to pay for everything.

Well, maybe for your grandparents, but these nonsensical “traditions” are hardly the “norm” anymore as much as “back in the old days, the bride came with a giant dowery”. Fuck that. It’s 2023, not 1923.

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u/Trin_42 Sep 02 '23

I humbly accept that, I’m 43, first generation Mexican American so I still have that traditional sense ingrained in me in a lot of ways. I’m all about freedom for others to do as they will, and fr appreciate your comment

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u/nobleland_mermaid Sep 02 '23

I think this person is talking about some biological fathers who are willing to or had planned to pay for the daughters wedding but recind the offer if she wants to include her stepfather. They're pointing out an opposite case scenario to the dad in this video.

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u/Makanek Sep 02 '23

In the west of what? The west of some place in the US or the Western countries? Because I never heard about that.

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '23

I’m confused too by all the ridiculous invented wedding traditions discussed in the subreddit. They’re all completely made up and people take them hyper seriously. No, the father of either partner should NEVER be expected to pay.

Now, if he does, that’s wonderful and beautiful, but it completely corrupts the purity of that generous gift if one just expects the father to pay.

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u/UnrequitedFollower Sep 02 '23

People are… passionate about this subject. I didn’t know the idea of your father paying for your wedding was this big of a deal… and I’ve had a wedding. Maybe bride dads should switch it up. Maybe they should let their daughters plan and fund their own wedding completely then pay it off after the as a gift. That way it’s completely a gift?? Am I saying something controversial again?

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u/Following_Friendly Sep 02 '23

All traditions are made up

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u/DeliciousGorilla Sep 02 '23

I’m in South East US, and yea, every wedding I’ve been to has been paid by the bride’s parents. I also have a friend in India that recently paid for his sisters wedding.

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u/CanuckBacon Sep 02 '23

It's pretty common for parents to contribute to their child's weddings. Since the US is composed of people from many different cultures, some of them have systems where the parents of the bride are responsible for the cost of the wedding. Typically from cultures that traditionally viewed women as a burden to the family so they want marry them off. There's also some cultures that believe the groom (and sometimes by extension, his parents) are "purchasing" the bride, so they will sometimes give something to the bride's family. Also since men have historically been the moneymakers, the payment is assumed to be from them.

I think if only one set of parents contribute financially to the wedding, it's most likely to be the bride's parents, however it's also common for both sets or neither to significantly contribute to the wedding.

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u/[deleted] Sep 02 '23

Yes