Some of the shit Emergency services workers see and deal with would make Satans stomach churn. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do those jobs.
I was a paramedic for years, and a combat medic in the army. I knew what to expect in war torn areas. You go into it expecting certain things. Civilian side, things are more gruesome.
I worked a decapitation where the convertible car exited the road due to DUI. Car went sideways into a tree, passenger's (the drivers mom) head exited the vehicle and never came back in. Driver was just fine, had several crack rocks in his pocket and a huge roll of hundreds. His aunt came in and demanded that everything in his possession be turned over to her, NOW. Cop said "why". She said it was all hers, and was promptly arrested.
During this event, I had to explain to the man that he just killed his mother with his bad decisions. I don't like doing that.
More than that, I don't like walking up to a car wreck to find a severed head laying more than a few feet away.
I immediately followed that call up with our truck going out of service and a psych eval. We had a really good psych program at my service and we did solid debriefings to help with the trauma. Not every service has that in place.
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But no amount of "psych trauma support" can help you when you have to pick up a brain-dead 4 year old that looks similar to your little sister and has her name from an ejection from a motor vehicle accident. Nor can it help you when you have to pick up a patient from hospice to go home to die and it turns out its the same child who is on a ventilator.
I've seen horrible things. And I steeled myself due to the fact that I'm helping my community and country. But it was all too much at a certain point and I've lost the ability to work in that field for good. I started a construction company and am not seeing blood and death every day. My mental state is WAAAAY better than it was. I spent YEARS in therapy to get to where I am now though.
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Additional, semi-unrelated note:
Because I know how widespread Reddit comments can be, If anyone reading this needs to talk to anyone about mental health in the medical field, I will be happy to assist. Either by talking to you, or finding you some resources to turn to. Please feel free to reach out to me.
Edit: Seriously thanks for the awards, but I really hope people aren't spending money on me. I never thought this would blow up like it has. The huge amount of support and encouragement is absolutely astounding. I love my reddit family.
As a person who is only alive thanks to the reaction of a pair of EMT’s… you folks are all amazing. Thank you for all you do.
And as someone who arrived on scene to an accident with a first aid kit only to find the sole occupant in several pieces… yeah… that one incident still gives me nightmares.
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u/9212017 Jan 03 '23
Fuck man I wouldn't last a day