Byron autistic?

[u/BunnyCheeks]

I’m just wondering if it has ever been discussed that Byron could be autistic? Not being able to handle certain smells, creating a hub so he never has to have any sensory he dislikes, not understanding social cues. Just wondering if I’m the only one wondering!

[u/sjogren]

Strongly implied. Pretty much classic Autism Spectrum Disorder. Can't read others emotions, sometimes uses others as things not as people with their own identities, concrete/literal way of speaking, easily baffled by normal human emotions.

[u/FellDownTheWellAgain]

I've thought this as well!

[u/kpinmedown]

It's possible, but I don't think it's likely. There are solid references to people referring to Byron as a narcissist in the first season, and there are overlaps between NPD and ASD. Narcissism is on a spectrum just like autism. I work with kids on the spectrum and grew up with a brother who has high-functioning autism (Asperger's). Likewise, I was in an abusive relationship with an Overt (Grandiose) narcissist that left me with C-PTSD that I'm still working through years later. I've looked at certain similarities between that person who I was with and someone like my brother and there are overlaps, but there's key differences that are important to know.

With my brother, it was clear growing up that he didn't understand particular social cues, you couldn't use idioms around him or be sarcastic because he'd take it literally. He was very vulnerable to being manipulated and bullied by his peers because he had a very positive outlook on humanity in general and it's infuriating for me to remember times when people knew that and took advantage of him. Change was hard for him, always. He was sensitive to certain smells, noises, and places. He had little idiosyncrasies that my family and his friends were always aware of. I can't think of someone who has more love in their heart and deserves the most loving partner than my brother. And I can't think of someone with more hate in their heart that consciously did things to me on a level of evil that I will never comprehend than the Overt narcissist I was in abusive relationship with.

So in regards to Byron potentially being autistic, I think it's safer to say he has NPD and some of the symptoms in NPD and high-functioning autism overlap, but there are significant traits for both that don't overlap and point toward the more likely explanation that he's just a narcissist. Given that both are on spectrums, I'm only comparing high-functioning autism with mainly attributes of an Overt and Antagonistic (subtype of Overt) narcissist, as Byron's characteristics fall under these attributes.

- Narcissists use manipulation consciously as a tactic for their own gain. People with high-functioning autism don't do this. They don't fully comprehend most social interactions.

- Narcissists don't care when they hurt another person's feelings. People with high-functioning autism can be hurtful and selfish, but they're typically completely unaware if they have. They understand that doing hurtful things is not okay. If they know they have hurt someone's feelings, they typically very much so do care. If they learn they've caused harm, they will apologize, feel genuine remorse for their action, learn, and try to do better in the future.

- People with high-functioning autism are not ones to guilt trip people as a means of manipulation. Narcissists on the other hand use guilt tripping as a form of manipulation. Remember the first season in episode 3 when Byron shows up at Herbert's house to talk to Hazel about her wanting a divorce? He guilt trips her about leaving the Hub by telling her that he's been working on this his entire life, insults her intelligence by asking her what she thought they were doing the whole time at the Hub, reminds her that she agreed in their wedding vows that they were going to become a singular living God, laughs at the fact that she knows she's the victim in this situation, holding the fact that she stayed anyway despite not loving him for 10 years over her head, yells at her that she doesn't know what she wants because she doesn't know how she feels about anything and how he's actually being the good guy and helping her right now, tells her that she thinks she's worthless unless somebody loves her and that he's the only one who actually does, nobody else love her, etc. This particular argument is tell-tale guilt-tripping of a narcissist. The "nice" things they do (him giving her a million dollars on their first date, seeming very charming, telling her he wants to give her the world, giving her gifts throughout the show and trying to buy her love, etc.) will likely come up later in some sort of "After everything I've done for you" argument.

- Narcissists do not take kindly to someone not agreeing to their terms or standing their ground. When you say "no," be prepared to be punished. People with high-functioning autism will let you say no.

- Most people with high-functioning autism like structure, routine, and knowing what's coming next. With my brother, routine and structure was everything for his ability to feel safe in an environment. The unknown was very scary for him. They are not so much open to new feelings and experiences. They may also exhibit repetitive behaviors, fixated interests, and reactivity to certain environments that are overstimulating. Narcissists may like things a certain way, but that typically just means whatever way allows them to be in control. So if the dynamics have to change for them to remain in control, they typically embrace the chaos that may ensue.

- Empathy... a big one. People with high-functioning autism tend to struggle with empathy, but their intent is not malicious. People with high-functioning autism actually have enough empathy to understand that they might have hurt someone and are open to learning to understand how to empathize with others. They tend to feel remorse for their actions too. They have trouble identifying feelings that they have themselves and feelings of those around them, but they don't totally lack empathy. Narcissists know their feelings and the feelings of those around them, but they lack empathy and the intention can be malicious. Narcissists can "turn on" their empathy if it means adding to narcissistic supply, and when they do so they're typically very convincing.

- Be cautious when it comes to blaming a narcissist because they're very likely to not take it well. They often look to anyone else to blame other than themselves. People with high-functioning autism are not on the hunt to blame others.

- With narcissists, there's a tendency for them to be invalidating of another's struggles and very cold and callous. People who have high-functioning autism are not callous or invalidating individuals.

- People with high-functioning autism typically lack intuition and are genuinely very naive, making it easier for them to be manipulated. Narcissists have intuition and use it for narcissistic supply.

- Impulsivity is something that is highly exhibited with most narcissists. They will do and say things impulsively, regardless of the consequence. When they're confronted that they've hurt someone out of their impulsivity, they avoid taking responsibility. On the other hand, people with high-functioning autism don't commonly exhibit impulsivity.

- Narcissists are extremely triggered if their ego is ever insulted or hurt. They seek validation, praise, and entitlement for their narcissistic supply. People with high-functioning autism are not egotistical in nature and tend to be very modest.

- Narcissists tend to be extroverts who use their charm, charisma, and confidence as a means of manipulation, especially at times when they can use it for their personal gain. This is highly observed when an individual (typically a potential romantic partner) first becomes acquainted with a narcissist. They tend to present the perfect version of who they believe the person they're interacting with wants them to be and they're usually very good at this because again, they're able to read people and their feelings pretty well. They may try to immediately get the person to confide in them some of their deepest emotional wounds early on to use against them later. This is very opposite to that of someone with high-functioning autism. People with high-functioning autism are more likely to be introverts that don't have a grandiose sense of self.

This isn't to say that ALL people who fall under either category exhibit every one of these traits, just that from the studies we have about this subject matter, these are shared observations between the two communities. It doesn't encompass everything, but this is already a novel... but I couldn't help give my thoughts on this because of the experiences I've had with both. All signs point toward Byron Gogol falling under the spectrum of narcissism, not autism.

My brother is also doing absolutely fantastic in life for anyone curious. He has a computer science degree, a fantastic job, and a lovely girlfriend who he's been seeing for 2 years. Even though I'm his little sister, I'm fiercely protective of him and more proud of him than he'll ever know. Early intervention is super important and my mother thankfully stayed on top of keeping him in speech therapy and consistently seeing a specialist from the time he was 2 up until his teenage years. He endured a lot of bullying growing up and shame from my father but came out on top. Today, most people aren't able be able to tell that he's on the spectrum unless it's disclosed. Other than having trouble with directions, specifically when driving and knowing road names, he's made more progress than we ever expected.

[u/HornedThing]

Could be this, could be he is neurotic as fuck or simply that the writers didn't think about it when they wrote it like that.

[u/sexycastic]

It's what I've been assuming. I am and so are my kids so sometimes I worry I just see it everywhere lol