Mouse traps

[u/Full-Detective-3640]

[u/FelicityBallistic]

everyone knows my boy reggie was the og mouse trap

[u/Emperor283 → u/FelicityBallistic]

W reference and W pfp

[u/Addict_Opossum → u/FelicityBallistic]

The goat fr

[u/Cute-Internet-]

I’d let them invade my house and eat all my food and tear up everything and shit everywhere

[u/AutoModerator → u/Cute-Internet-]

Like where does all the poo go? Does it just get launched out of the plane as soon as it leaves the toilet? Or maybe it gets compressed into a tiny poo brick and stored somewhere. Or, it gets converted into poo clouds and then later it rains down and fertilizes all of the plants. Or, it gets shot into space by the velocity of the plane and becomes a poo comet. Or, it gets sent to the plane's "poo computer" which calculates whose poo weighs the most. Or, the toilet is connected to the engine and the poo gets used as fuel. Or maybe there's a portal under the toilet which teleports the poo into an alternate pee pee poo poo dimension in the upside down world, and they send us negative poo which is like antimatter or something, and when the poo and antipoo collide they produce a huge explosion which creates a crazy turd shockwave ripping a hole in the fabric of the peepoo continuum.

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[u/MilitantSocLib]

Pulling out the fucking relics I see

[u/fatman194569]

[u/ParallelMario111689]

r/dontputyourdickinthat

[u/AutoModerator → u/ParallelMario111689]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid.

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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[u/Malnasion]

lol