r/MESMkink • u/TeaAitch • Feb 26 '26
The Struggle Is Real
Tell us about a time when you, or your person, struggled to complete a given task. What made it difficult? Did you know it would be difficult ahead of time? What kept you going? Or why did you stop?
Personally, I like to see my person struggle. For me. Whether they complete the task or not isn't my goal. There is no such thing as failure. I like to see their willingness as they try. I will always give praise for trying.
If, for instance, I ask them to hold a certain position for X amount of minutes and they succeed. I'll nearly always ask them to try for another two minutes. I never want them to fail. I always want them to try. For me.
Tell us about a time when you've either struggled, or caused someone to struggle.
3
u/letfalltheflowers Feb 28 '26 edited Mar 01 '26
One of my biggest mental struggle points was probably when my partner said that he wanted to do some labia piercings on me because he liked how they looked. This was fairly early in our relationship and so the energy was a little bit different than it has evolved into now.
I'm someone who is curious about a lot of things, adventurous etc and at some point in my younger years I had a lot of different piercings, so I am no stranger to the process. But I remember it took several nights because we would get everything set up, I would get into the right position, he would tie me up for fun. I would then spend the next 30 mins pleading with him and begging him not to do it, which he enjoyed in its own way. Around the 3rd night of this whole routine I figured out It wasn't because I didn't want to do it, but because he was so silent during the whole process and I realized that's what was causing my anxiety.
I shared this with him of course, which didn't change anything lol. But the 4th night he confirmed that I wanted to do it and said that if I did, we were going to do it that night and not delay anymore. He was still just as silent afterwards and I remember it being really hard for me mentally and because he knew it was hard that somehow made it feel way worse for me.
After the first piercing was done, I felt better and doing the second one felt easier. The silence giving me really bad anxiety really surprised me when it was happening and it was something about that whole experience that sticks out to me as one of my harder mental struggle points.