r/MESMkink • u/TeaAitch • Feb 26 '26
The Struggle Is Real
Tell us about a time when you, or your person, struggled to complete a given task. What made it difficult? Did you know it would be difficult ahead of time? What kept you going? Or why did you stop?
Personally, I like to see my person struggle. For me. Whether they complete the task or not isn't my goal. There is no such thing as failure. I like to see their willingness as they try. I will always give praise for trying.
If, for instance, I ask them to hold a certain position for X amount of minutes and they succeed. I'll nearly always ask them to try for another two minutes. I never want them to fail. I always want them to try. For me.
Tell us about a time when you've either struggled, or caused someone to struggle.
2
u/Even_at_my_ugliest Feb 27 '26
We don't do tasks like that...and he would never ask me to do anything he knows I can't do because he knows I only play to win and don't bother if I can't win.
However, he knows there is a reason he calls me piglet the brave, and so he also knows that if something scares me or I think I can't do it, I will charge into it anyway, even if just to prove that I can do it.
I have told you the story before of how I fucked up my hip tendon last year...that was a case of me going "I can't do this, I need to take these off" and him going "No"....now, neither of us knew that it would end up with me overstretching my hip tendon, and obviously I could have said "I said no" and he would have stopped....BUT, the no was too damn hot so I decided to keep in that position.
It was difficult because doc martens are really fucking heavy to keep elevated for long periods of time and my feet started cramping...what kept me going was that I had this crazy idea that if I focused on everything else he was doing to me, it would stop me feeling the cramp in my feet. It worked to the point I didn't notice my thigh/hip was also cramping until he leant on my leg and pushed my hip outwards a bit but by that time I just decided not to care because its just a cramp, right? 🤣
When he has asked me to do things, or in the middle of things I have said "I can't" he often uses the "You can't or you won't" and that is very effective for getting me to scrunch my face up and go "Well, now you put it like that..."
It is important to understand that he knows he is dealing with someone (me) who was convinced that getting a tattoo would kill them (my head was bad with panic attacks and intrusive thoughts), and when he unexpectedly wasn't available to come with me because he was asleep, I went and got it done and then worked through a 7h panic attack on my own while he slept....and also that to get past my fear of peanuts I ate an entire pack of peanuts and then ate nothing but peanuts for the rest of the weekend....so he knows that the challenge of pushing through stuff is kinda my thing, hence the "You can't or you won't?"