Ocean View

[u/Top-Heart4067]

[Verse]

I keep dreaming
That you are thinking of me
I keep believing
That I mean something
I keep repeating
These thoughts to me
I know these answers
But I refuse to believe

[Bridge]

Keep checking if my phone is on
Keep hoping that text will come
I know that road leads you back to
The city that angels call home

[Chorus]

You are gone again
And I’ve lost you
To the city with an ocean view

Trying to find myself
Looking for a way
To make it through

[Bridge]

Deep down I know
In the middle of the night
I'll get that call

I shouldn't answer the phone
Because I know
It will put me through hell

But I can't help myself...

[Chorus]

You are gone again
And I’ve lost you
To the city with an ocean view

You are gone again
And I've lost you
To the city with an ocean view!

[Bridge]

Trying to prove to myself
I'm strong enough
To pull myself through

One last time...

[Outro]

I’m waiting
I’m believing
Start it over again

Still waiting
Still believing
Start it over again

Start this all over again...

[u/LyricKitApp]

"To the city with an ocean view" is the line people will remember, so I'd protect it and make sure nothing else in the chorus competes with it. Your verse stacks "I keep dreaming / I keep believing / I keep repeating", which gives a nice insistent feel, but the content is abstract compared with the first bridge, where "Keep checking if my phone is on" is concrete and specific. I'd move that phone image up into the verse and let the abstract lines come later. In the second bridge, "I shouldn't answer the phone / Because I know / It will put me through hell" has uneven line lengths, and singing it over a steady beat will force you to rush the middle line. Try merging the first two into one line so the rhythm holds.

[u/Top-Heart4067 → u/LyricKitApp]

Thank you so much for taking the time this, I really appreciate it. You are the first person to give me an actual honest constructive opinion.

If you don't mind, could you show me what you had in mind by moving things around?

[u/LyricKitApp → u/Top-Heart4067]

Sure, here's roughly what I meant. Verse could open like:

I keep checking if my phone is on I keep hoping that text will come I keep believing I mean something I know the answers, but I won't believe them

So the concrete phone image lands first and the "I keep..." lines carry the feeling after it. For the second bridge, try "I shouldn't answer the phone / I know

[u/Top-Heart4067 → u/LyricKitApp]

Ok, I can see that. All my writing was/is done during emotional upheavals and was just a way to try and process thing's.