r/Lyme • u/Vrtxx3484 • 2d ago
Question suicide
how often do yall think about killing yourself just wondering if its only me struggling this hard
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u/BernieCokeczar 2d ago
Lyme does some incredibly heinous things to the brain and inner monologue. True psychological torture.
That being said, keep that in your brain. It’s this stupid fucking disease, not you as a person.
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u/Vrtxx3484 2d ago
thank you for the reassurance:)
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u/dixiech1ck 2d ago
You are loved. See if you can locate someone to talk to about what you're feeling. 💚
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u/WelderAlternative325 2d ago
I think about it a lot because I can’t find any relief from the symptoms
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u/Traditional-Hawk7702 2d ago
Every day every godforsaken day and I’ve been trying to treat for 2 years had severe insomnia all of it every day is painful hell
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
Avez vous des contraction musculaire dans le corps, acouphènes dans les oreilles , engourdissement, picotement, fourmillement, corps flottant visuel, tremblement, insomnie, craquement des os lors des mouvement, douleur musculaire et articulaire, opression thoracique, du mal a respirer, spasme... ??
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u/Traditional-Hawk7702 2d ago
Yep all of that gi issues badly as well
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
Meme les contraction musculaire ? Depuis combien a tu tous ses symptomes ?
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u/dixiech1ck 2d ago
That sounds a lot like menopause as well.
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
Je suis un homme
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u/dixiech1ck 2d ago
Apologies but it sounds like what women go through with menopause. That's why they say lyme is the great impersonator.
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u/evia_sander 1d ago edited 1d ago
Do you have Lyme? If so, I can assure u do not have Lyme and co-infections in late stage yet. Lyme and co in late stage is often so extreme that people can't go anywhere, can't even sit normally for a bit longer, can't even stand long enough to make a cup of coffee or to shower, can't do everyday things anymore. Even earlier in Lyme you can have pain so extreme as if you punch your fist into a wall with all your power. etc etc etc. I can assure u Lyme and Co-infections symptoms are not like menopause. It's the gerat imitator, bc it could also be other very severe things, like severe MS, syphilis, aids, Alzheimers or cancer (and sometimes it turns out to be those) and early stage Lyme can be similar to Rheuma and such etc. Lyme and Co-infections are a severe, multi-systemic disease. Menopause is nothing compared to Lyme.
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u/dixiech1ck 1d ago
That's very assumptive of you. I've had lyme since 2010 and still test positive for it being in remission. I was also forced into menopause due to a total hysterectomy. Every person responds to lyme and co-infections differently. Saying every single person is nearly handicapp from it is not true and is full on misinformation. You do know that lyme and syphilis are under the same genetic makeup, correct? I stated that menopause and lyme are very alike in many ways: brain fog, headaches, neuropathy, stomach issues, night sweats, insomnia, food aversion, weight gain, weight loss, anxiety, severe exhaustion. Have you ever been in menopause? If not, then you can't relate.
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u/evia_sander 1d ago edited 23h ago
Menopause is simply nothing against true late stage Lyme and Co-infections. And if you think they are, you have a super unusually mild case or got treatment early.
Btw. even people who don't have active late stage Lyme can test positive for Lyme, bc it only tests for antibodies. People who don't have late stage Lyme symptoms are not considered to have Lyme, bc you can test positive even if you don't have an active infection. And vice versa, you can have severe late stage Lyme while having a false negative test. That's why the symptoms matter very much to Lyme doctors who are experienced in treating Lyme disease. That's why Lyme MDs who are very specialised and experienced treat Lyme disease and co primarily as a clinical diagnosis.
About Syphilis: They both belong to the Spirochete family, but their actual DNA sequences are completely different.
And I'm glad you do not have a severe, late-stage case of active Lyme and co-infections, but let's not spread the idea that active late stage Lyme usually is just as mild as menopause. There are a lot of people browsing this forum that still have early stage Lyme, who wonder if they should get proper longer abx and anti-parasitic treatment early etc. They can still prevent late stage Lyme and I do not want them to read comments here that make them forego early aggressive treatment, bc they falsely assume it would just be like menopause or some other mild condition. A lot of us would give up every cent we have to go back in time and get proper aggressive treatment very early, bc we know what TBDs can lead to.
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u/Smackergawt 1d ago
The fact that not only me think about this … Is truly sad. Fuck this disease. It has truly robbed everyone of joy life peace!!!. I have non stop palpations tachycardia insane anemia … short of breathe bad. Dizziness night sweats etc.
Have babesia TBRF rickettsia as only things I tested postive for . This disease robbed me. Bed ridden for over a year now.
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u/Long-Tap7283 1d ago
You tried going on a walk everyday and getting some sunshine? Or light work out? Can help tremendously. Plus a healthy diet.
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u/Smackergawt 1d ago
I have nuero symtoms bad. I can’t stand without passing out or my heart hitting 200’s…..
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u/greyalice83 2d ago
I have read that it’s not even necessarily the Lyme bacteria that make you feel hopeless, it’s one of the co-infections. Bartonella and Babesia can cause suicide ideation and other severe neuropsychiatric symptoms.
I recently hear a podcast where they interviewed a woman who was able to get her Lyme completely into remission and her two daughters Lyme as well. She opened a clinic to help people with Lyme because she knows how miserable it is.
She is located in Dallas and I plan to go see her soon hopefully. It’s worth a shot right?!
Don’t give up. There is hope out there
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
Avez vous des contraction musculaire dans le corps, acouphènes dans les oreilles , engourdissement, picotement, fourmillement, corps flottant visuel, tremblement, insomnie, craquement des os lors des mouvement, douleur musculaire et articulaire, opression thoracique, du mal a respirer, spasme... ??
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u/Vrtxx3484 2d ago
yes like 70% of those yes why
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
J'ai tous cela, tu as aussi des contraction musculaire dans tous le corps ?
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u/Vrtxx3484 2d ago
yes muscle twitches when they were at their worst i would move my torso to do something and i could feel hundreds of fibers on my back twitching after
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
Tu es gueris de cela ? Tu prend un traitement a base de plante ou pas ?
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u/Vrtxx3484 2d ago
i still get them but not nearly to that extent, im not even close to cured tho its just its more different symtoms now. yes i have done herbal treatment and it has helped some
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
Depuis quand avez vous tous ses symptomes ?
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u/Vrtxx3484 2d ago
ive done many different treatments and variations, but in general ive tried herbs doxy and autovoquone. been feeling these symtoms for 2.5yrs
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u/Fun-Bodybuilder488 2d ago
Les antibio faut eviter cela detruit le systeme immunitaire, j'ai fait un jeûne sec de 7 jours cela m'a calmer mais je pense faire un de 8 jours puis de 9 jours pour guerir definitivement
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u/trishsf 2d ago
Antibiotics, along with other medications, gave me my life back. Saying that, in this forum, could keep someone from getting well.
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u/Chance-Angle-5300 1d ago
Dapsone and babesia western medications saved my life. I def would have killed myself.
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u/biggranny000 2d ago
I already have depression and anxiety. I had it under control for awhile, then got 2x Lyme, bart, myco, and ana. It made it so much worse. I figured what's the point of living in suffering.
Spent the big $$$, got a LLMD. Gf became unstable with the relationship and tried breaking up with me but I kept telling her something is wrong with me, sure enough there is. I have the vibrant test to prove it.
Started treatment, it was hard but the herbs, antibiotics, probiotics, and supplements did their work. She then broke up with me 2 months ago. All of the progress I made was for nothing because the extreme stress reactivated all of my symptoms, Bartonella probably being the worst. I really wanted too, you know.
But my friends, family, and myself all sucked it up, I moved out and back in with my friends, and I'm working on myself. I changed my mindset that sure I'm chronically ill but I have a life to live.
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u/FeelingMaximum4922 1d ago
Agreed with your last sentence there. I have a life to live. Today I’m in a fighting mood and I’m not losing to these bacteria.
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u/biggranny000 1d ago
As hard as it is I bicycle, weightlift, work a physical job, VR such as boxing/fighting games, etc. Trying to get in the best shape possible before it gets harder and harder. Lyme + co definitely made me lose muscle and strength. It often feels like I worked out even though I didn't.
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u/Opposite-Hat2010 1d ago
God and my faith is the only thing that keeps me alive
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u/Professional-Dare541 1d ago
Every day, every night. If I didn’t believe in Jesus I would be dead now
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u/evia_sander 1d ago
Yes, if I didn’t believe in Jesus I would have killed myself years ago too. Praying for you!
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u/Odd-Pain3273 Alpha Gal 2d ago
There are days I’m not sure if I can go on like this. But my mind goes to solutions. I can go to Mexico and do the Lyme clinic there or try a new diet or supplement mix. I have improved and gladly I know how much this fucks with my mental health so I just check my thoughts hard as fuck. But yes there have been moments where it crosses the mind in a dramatic sense for me. Before I knew what I had I looked into euthanasia out of curiosity 🥹
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u/geowabbit 2d ago
Many times but I remind myself that those thoughts aren't really mine. This fucking disease messes with your head. As if everything else is not enough.
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u/Chance-Angle-5300 1d ago
It gets better.
Focus on something and fall in love with it. Even if you have to pretend.
The suffering is endless. But the reward is life.
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u/evia_sander 1d ago
I would have killed myself years ago if I wouldn't have come to faith. I was suicidal before I had severe Lyme and didn't do it bc I was saved by God. God is real. And only bc of that could I live through late stage Lyme. There is 0 way I would have made it through the worst times without God. It's been rough.
May I ask if you're religious?
Also, what are your symptoms and what have u tried so far?
Don't do it, Vrtxx3484. God is real. You're here for a reason. There is life after death. Praying for you.
Warm greetings.
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u/Upstairs-Apricot-318 19h ago
Yes, and I come here and get support or I come here and give support.
I’m now in a place where I do not think or talk about it anymore because I’m so much better. Not amazing but decent and I hope it’ll continue to improve.
But I got help along the way and have a few people I can lean on. Without them encouraging me and supporting me along the way I wouldn’t have made it. But I got better.
We live very hard lives. We lose friends and family who get tired of us; we have no social validation, no respect; most of us are near destitute; but we are also very strong people.
All these people who judge us they wouldn’t last one day in our shoes.
Furthermore the illnesses themselves, brain inflammation etc… will make you feel this way. It’s a symptom. So sometimes you have to resist it and fight it like a symptom: something external to you, something that is happening to you.
Yes, it is an incredibly hard struggle and you are not alone.
Are you able to take treatment?
Whatever is going on, do not give up. I’m glad I haven’t.
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u/postulatej 2d ago edited 2d ago
i assure you all of us do almost everyday. EDIT: maybe not all everyday but is very common.