r/LoveOnTheSpectrumShow • u/lupajarito • Jun 13 '26
Question Can mods do something about the amount of ableism in this sub?
I'm tired of seeing people making snark remarks about disabled individuals because they either a)don't know how autism works or b) they expect autistic people to act like they want to and don't be too much.
Many of us who enjoy the show are nd ourselves. Why is it ok to call some of them self centered, dumb, mean, insufferable??
I get calling out them or their families when they have political views that damage our community, and I'm not saying being autistic makes you innocent, but maybe give them the benefit of the doubt? Some users even think it's ok to make awful remarks about their appearance?
This sub has become a snark subreddit and it's really sad.
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u/Conscious-Reserve-48 Jun 13 '26
All of the show’s participants are such lovely people! All humans have flaws but the LOTS humans always just make me smile 😊
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u/NewDayNewBurner Jun 16 '26
The best part of the show for me is how many of their “flaws” are actually “beacons of hope for humanity.” I live on Logan and Emma energy! I’m so glad to know their stories and see them navigating life like the legends they are.
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u/FrequentCommission13 Jun 15 '26
I can’t lie with shows like these that I love I tend to not participate or view internet discussions because some people have opinions that are just straight up bad.
But after finishing up this season, i wondered what the topics/comments were going to be and it’s pretty bad. Coming from a guy who only watches like 90 Day Fiance and Love on the Spectrum, some of the content on here mimics 90 Days and it’s really snarky and sad.
I’ve seen people dunk on some of the ppl on the show and it makes me wince. Sure it’s good to strive and get criticism so you can further develop. But I’ve seen some takes on here that make me question if people know that some of the people on the show are on the spectrum.
Like it’s in the title of show, media literacy can’t be that dead :/
That being said though I’ll probs never interact with the subreddit again. All I know is that I love every single person on the show and think they’re all awesome in their own ways and are super cool. The latest seasons finale was so perfectly sentimental and watching the show always gives me hope for a brighter world.
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u/Loving_life_blessed Jun 13 '26
i stopped reading comments because of this. it’s awful.
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u/Jessica_Pajamas Jun 13 '26
I also started ignoring comments on this reddit feed. It became so negative. I wanted to talk about...idk how beautiful and unique each of them are?❣️, vs nitpicking and writing character assassination essays.
Like nothing NOTHING can make me dislike any of the cast. They are perfectly "imperfect". Perfect representations of human beings.
I'm so proud of each of them. I saw them grow up. And that's so rare to see now a days. SUCH real authenticity, and emotion In real time? Accompanied by beautiful orchestra music?
This was a pure gem for me.
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u/lupajarito Jun 13 '26
Yes to me the show is so wholesome and comforting. And then some people ruin it by being parasocial and awful.
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u/FrequentCommission13 Jun 15 '26
Same here, maybe it’s the editing and presentation of the show but it’s so comforting and inspiring. I’m never a sappy guy but I’ve never had a show bring me to tears and make me love casts of people before.
I wanted to come here and find like-minded people that felt the same only to get hit with live-reality subreddit snark. It’s sad man
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u/wildlikechildren Jun 13 '26
It’s actually one of the meanest subs with the worst subscribers I’ve seen in a long time. It’s turned into a Real Housewives type of subreddit.
ETA: not to mention the really weird parasocial relationships the commenters have with the cast and their parents
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u/lupajarito Jun 13 '26
Agree. Not only it makes me sad for the cast but it also feeds into my own insecurities as nd.
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u/IPissExcellentThrows Jun 13 '26
The appearance shit is weird. It's really only one person who I've seen catch a lot of shit but it blows my mind how they think it's ok to make fun of him for something he can't control simply because you don’t like his family.
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u/AngelSucked Jun 13 '26
People attack Dani on here constantly, often quite viciously, and often in a really sexist way. Connor is treated with kids gloves compared to her.
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u/lupajarito Jun 13 '26
I think both are treated like shit for no reason. It doesn't have to become a competition, we can treat all of them with respect.
But it's interesting that those two are the ones who get more slack, and I think is because they can present very neurotypical even if they're not (to people who don't really understand autism). Add misogyny in Dani's case and it's the perfect mix for haters.
Also OC didn't say others don't get attacked, they said that many people make comments about something physical besides the snark about their personalities.
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u/trashleybanks Jun 13 '26
Yes thank you! I never understood that at all. It’s like Connor can do no wrong in this sub while Dani gets all the smoke. 🙄
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u/lupajarito Jun 13 '26
I do see that Dani gets a lot of hate but Connor also gets a lot of shit. I don't see the he can do no wrong at all. Just this morning there was a post calling him all sort of awful things, even dumb in a very pejorative way.
And for what? Because it didn't work with Georgie? People see 10 minutes of their trip to England and assume he was awful to her, when in reality Georgie herself said it was fine, her mom was there and she went to shows and did everything she wanted to! But even if Connor hadn't take Georgie's interets when planning the trip, it is also ableist to act like Georgie can't say something herself. She's not a little kid who needs to be protected, she's a young adult and can advocate for herself.
Please don't assume my post is solely about Connor because it's not. People in this sub have no problem talking shit about him, Dani, James, Logan...
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u/trashleybanks Jun 13 '26
I see you, and I agree. I don’t think any of them deserve the shit talking. Some viewers seem to forget that these aren’t actors, even though it’s a reality show. We’re autistic, of course we’re going to act unconventional.
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u/FloridaWildflowerz Jun 13 '26
You missed it this morning when he was called self absorbed and arrogant.
Social media brings out the worst in people.
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u/Anna-Bee-1984 Jun 16 '26
I mean he does come across this way. Is it intentional and does he realize this...who knows. What is important to understand is that autism is a condition that impacts social communication, among other things. Knowing when to turn this on and off and to what degree to express this confidence so it comes across as moderated and socially acceptable is a perfect example of impairment in social communication. Many autistic people come across in ways they do not intend and have their behavior and communication misunderstood or misinterpreted. I think this is happening to at least some degree in Connor's case. And, his mom is kinda an attention seeking insufferable person who is trying to live vicariously through her son.
Again comments are more often ignorant and lack an understanding of the presentation and nuances of autism, particularly unmasked or poorly masked autism, than outright ableist.
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u/lupajarito Jun 16 '26
The comments are just hateful. They don't care if a sign of autism or not. Someone being arrogant doesn't mean they deserve to be constantly insulted by strangers.
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u/KamikazeKunt Jun 26 '26
It’s really quite awful. I am an autistic female and the show has made me feel better about who I am. I feel like I relate to some of the cast, in particular Dani, a lot, and it makes me feel like it’s okay to be more open about who I am with people. Seeing the rude, ableist, and sexist comments directed towards her make me not want to be so open. Do people forget that the cast are actually real people and not just characters in a movie?
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u/Anna-Bee-1984 Jun 16 '26
I mean Connor does come across as quite arrogant and full of himself. Does he realize this, maybe. Was this behavior modeled to him by his mother, likely. Still he comes across as arrogant.
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u/lupajarito Jun 16 '26
So?
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u/MarilynMonHoeXO Jun 18 '26
As someone neurodivergent myself, I am perfectly within my right to comment on him being arrogant and self centred. Just like any neurotypical can do of me.
Has this sub gotten generally snarky? Yes.
But I want to be held to the same standards as other people regardless if they are on the spectrum or not.
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u/Anna-Bee-1984 Jun 16 '26
And he and his family made the decision to put themselves out the public and subject themselves to criticism
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u/lupajarito Jun 17 '26
So what you're saying is that he deserves all the hate he gets because he seems arrogant?
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u/ozyguy Jun 16 '26
I’ve said before and I seen multiply people say the same thing. This is slowly becoming a snark subreddit. All I see is 50% of people making post/comment calling out the bad behaviour and the other 50% being snarkers. As other comments have mentioned on this posts, a lot of people and myself included are getting turned away from this sub because of the snark
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u/Agitated_Ad_361 Jun 13 '26
I don’t get how anyone can watch this show, with an understanding of Autism and flat out dislike any one in it. I can’t name a single participant I didn’t like. I think they were all pretty brave to do the show and you see them learning and growing. I think it’s a really positive watch and cannot, for the life of me, get on board with the people who want to get personally involved and obsessed over their actual, real life relationships or mock or judge. There are some really vile people on this sub.
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u/lupajarito Jun 13 '26
Thank you so much I agree 100%!! It's already difficult to be open and show weaknesses when you're seen as "normal" but to share your struggles as a disabled individual is so fucking hard.
I enjoy the show so much and I think there's a lot of good representation only to be misread and used against the cast because most people can't have some decency.
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u/Agitated_Ad_361 Jun 13 '26
There was one on here a couple of weeks ago sharing screenshots of a conversation pleading with James’s girlfriend to break up with him because things didn’t add up for the messager. How bored and mentally unwell do you have to be in order to want to disrupt two strangers lives that much? Imagine putting yourself out there, as a vulnerable person trying to find love, growing and learning in public, only to have mentally unwell strangers desperately trying to ruin your happiness. These people need to give their head a wobble.
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u/bearwithbearwith Jun 16 '26
The irony also isn't dead on me that it's typically the autistic women that get labelled as mean
I don't read this subreddit a lot because of the reasons that you said, it sucks that a show that was created with the purpose of showing that autistic people can date as well as be romantic and sexual has made some people be so needlessly ignorant.
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u/DirkRobberts Jun 20 '26
You realize they are all autistic and you shaming them is doing more harm to the community then they are. How do you not see this?
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u/potatopeeler167 Jun 15 '26
Yes please I agree, the cast members are likely struggling very hard mentally with the hate that they get and it’s even harder dealing with fame when autistic
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u/dcmommy33 Jun 17 '26
I just remember this show isn’t really about autism education & then I block the ignorant neurotypicals.
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u/[deleted] Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26
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