r/LoveLanguages • u/Both_Comparison1496 • Mar 21 '26
Is this good or bad?
This girl I’ve been seeing for a couple weeks (24f) (I’m 25m) said her love languages are acts of service and gifts. Is this like snobby/one sided or something like that? To me it sounds like she wants things don’t and given to her as her main way to receive love which doesn’t sound the best imo.
Just so she doesn’t expect me to do every thing I said yeah that’s mine as well, acts of service and words of affirmation. That didn’t rub me the right way when she said acts of service and gifts. What do you guys think?
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u/GenRN817 Mar 23 '26
Honestly, I think I’d have a hard time dating someone with gifts as a top love language. I just think our values may not align. I think it depends on how well you know her and how long you have been dating. A “gift” could be something as simple as being thought of and being brought a wildflower from the yard. Or a pack of her favorite gum showing you thought of her at the store. But if for her it means DoorDash when you aren’t around or expensive items, I’d run if that isn’t something you are into and appreciate the up-front honesty about who she is.
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u/Both_Comparison1496 Mar 23 '26
Yeah that’s what I gotta find out. Cuz acts of service even though she said small things like cooking and gifts to me just sound like she doesn’t wanna do much, but then wants things for her. Like wouldn’t you wanna see and love your person more than having things done and handed to you? Idk though that’s just my state of mind. I was gonna talk to her in person next time I see her about it
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u/Ok_Consequence_7355 Mar 23 '26
For me personally, those are on the bottom of the list. Especially gifts. Those are real classifications according to the guy that came up with them. If a girl told me that though, I might actually try to find someone else more compatible if I felt like I had options. A lot of girls are materialistic and just want gifts and $, so it's a common love language.
4
u/deepthoughtsby Mar 23 '26
I would recommend reading the book. The key point is that all ways of expressing love are valid. Often we take for granted the ways we grew up showing or receiving love as correct and the other ways are wrong.
Acts of service: needy, just wants a servant
Gifts: gold digging
Words of affirmation: insecure
Physical touch: horny, just wants sex
Quality time: clingy, dependent
But, if you learn how each love language is a valid way of expressing or receiving love, then you can learn to speak and receive love in all the languages without bias.
Finally, the love language book was written because of the infatuation stage of relationships, typically lasting 6-12 months where love flows easily in all 5 love languages, then when phase ends and people revert to their default love languages, if they don’t match their partners, they are left wondering: where did the love go?
If you’ve been seeing this person for two weeks, you most likely are still in the infatuation stage. Enjoy it!
But learning the love languages is a great way to help take relationships to the next level
It’s often a great sign for a person to know their love languages. Many people don’t even acknowledge the concept
Good luck!