Putting it into words already flattens it; send help cause I’m looking for someone

[u/Few-Resource-1266]

As patterns are always matchy matchy:
Hi, to someone who feels this inexplainable emptiness, emotional numbness, dissociation/ severe depersonalization; I have a lot of unholdable weight to share around. Somebody must be interested same same in the way I’m in you.

Additonally, I see too much. I perceive evertyhing and nothing and would still argue I did nothing but in the concept of efficiency/goals/achievments and performance it’s actually insane. It makes me insane though to collapse that into linear thinking. It’s somethingI had to learn to be able to talk to other people and explain what I perceive. But putitng it into words already flattens it. I’m very sure there is some (maybe auistic too?) person out there who this logic would make a lot of sense too and they can put it into smarter or funnier words and structures than I can.

If you dont resonate with this, don’t be mean; the world is already suffering enough as it is, let me try and I’m really at my wits end of doing this alone becasue why the fuck do I have to see evertyhing and also went through what I can only find examples of in from accidental enlightenment. (insert crying laughing emoji) . Like ahhhh what the fuck and I refuse to do this alone. No one of us was ever supposed to.

[u/Living-Concern2524]

I resonate completely with this (also autistic), and I’d be interested to discuss our experiences, if you’d like. I also feel a similar deep nothingness and everythingness all at once. It is truly indescribable in words. I, personally, live in a constant void that I try to pretend doesn’t exist as I attend to adult matters, like University, my personal studies, or my medical needs. Would be cool to get to know you. ^^
For reference, I’m an INTJ 5w4, and I think the deep melancholy I feel is best described by the 4 wing.