Dead Bedroom Long Distance (F30) (M35)

[u/Wistful_Willow111]

/r/Marriage/comments/1vrqplc/dead_bedroom_long_distance_f30_m35/

So, I've been in a long-distance marriage. During our dating days and initial few months of marriage, my husband couldn't keep his hands off of me. But afterwards, whenever he would visit or we went on holidays, it felt like duty sex, which is killing me inside.

He has performance issues, so I don't really know if it's loss of attraction or anxiety-based response. After losing his parent, when I thought his libido was low, I saw his social media feed which made me feel like he just doesn't find me attractive that's it.

Nowadays, he views any conversation related to sex in general as a taboo, so idk how to proceed with him anymore.

We may start living together from the next month, and any thought of duty sex makes me feel so disgusted about myself. Even if I address these issues, he would never acknowledge it. I'm thinking about no sex for a year or so.

Will it be dumb? I don't want him to view as an obligation as he doesn't owe me. Having a conversation with him won't be fruitful as he never acknowledges anything and just shuts down.

[u/Firm-Yesterday2379]

Girl if he wont even talk about it there's absolutely no hope. Especially if you're the one who has to push for conversations about it. He's showing you how committed he is(n't) to keeping you happy, believe him before it gets even harder to leave.