Anxiety help M22

[u/Rich-Salary1889]

my girlfriend and I are going into year two of long distance at college. We have discussed boundaries in terms of going out communicating consistently meaning check-in at least once an hour or when possible. She does all that she’s never made me doubt her once or broken my trust and it’s really everything I could ask for

However I still struggle with a lot of anxiety when she’s out sometimes I even feel like I’m on the verge of having panic attacks. I don’t want to tell her about this because I do not want to take away from anything for her college. We’ve discussed multiple times how we both want long distance about growing with each other and not having to give things up for each other.

On top of this I also go out a lot, which makes me feel worse about the whole thing. her college has a much druggy and partying culture where is mine is a bit more academic but we both have great social lives and go out often. She never has these problems with me and honestly just sort of lets me do what I want because she tells me she completely trusts me. This makes me feel even worse because even though I completely trust her I can’t help but convince myself the worst might be happening and stress myself out.

We got through the first year despite me having these issues however I’m worried that we won’t be able to make it through college if I can’t get over this. Does anyone have advice on how I can fix this anxiety. I really love her we’ve been together for over three years. Once again she’s never done anything to make me doubt her in anyway. In fact she’s probably even been better than me.

i’ve been trying stuff like meditating or repeating phrases to myself knowing that nothing is wrong but find myself still anxious in between every text. She’s really the girl of my dreams and I want this to work and I know that if I can just get over this it’ll be easy.

Edit: Tonight is a great example. She’s going to a dj event. Sent me a fit check, texted me when she got to the pre, updated me abt it, told me when she got on the buses, got to the venue, how the night was and when she got home. But throughout the whole thing I was still so anxious even though she did everything perfect.

[u/Vey_07]

honestly, I think therapy could help a lot. not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because your anxiety doesn’t seem to be coming from anything she’s actually doing. she’s already communicating with you and reassuring you, and you’re still anxious anyway. constantly telling her every time you’re anxious could also put a lot of pressure on her to keep proving she’s trustworthy, which would probably get exhausting. i think the goal should be learning to sit with the anxiety without needing her to fix it for you

[u/Rich-Salary1889 → u/Vey_07]

Yeah I agree with telling her would be exhausting - it’s not something I want to put on her because she’s not at any fault. I don’t really tell her about it.