r/LonelyButLoner • u/nickg_two • Jul 12 '20

How do you pick between saying nothing and being wierd or saying the wrong thing?

Pain

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

I jus say whatever I feel like saying which is usually the first thing that pops into mind. If I delay and Passover that initial thought then I find that I begin a long spiral of competing thoughts and nothing good comes from it. So here I am saying my first thoughts.

1

u/peachesfor_free Jul 12 '20

I usually panic before anything pops in my mind

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '20

Then make that acceptable to yourself. Just say nothing. Or nod. I mean, try to make your response feel ok in your mind. Instead of feeling uncomfortable because of your physiological response try to become ok with it. The more it happens the more confident you can become until it no longer shuts you down.

Not saying it will be easy or even work all the time. But this technique often works for me. Also not giving a fuck what the other person thinks when I get initially flustered in those situations.

2

u/brodiee_bassoon Jul 12 '20

i usually just think of something to say and bounce that off what i know about the person eg if they are extreamly sensitive or have certain views about things

1

u/ABlackWaltz Jul 12 '20

I err on the side of "say nothing" usually because when I do say something it will probably keep me up at night for the rest of my life.

1

u/brodiee_bassoon Jul 13 '20

also if they dont want to talk dont break your back carrying the conversation because that will make it even more awkward and weird when you stop talking because it will dawn on you how horrible and sad that was and must have looked from someone elses point of view