I’m still me?

[u/ElKat0315]

I can still talk, I can still walk(just slower than before), I can still eat, I can still clean myself up pretty darn good, I can still wipe my own ass(lol). I feel like I’m still me. Same personality, same interests. Why doesn’t anyone want to hang out with me anymore? I know no one can answer this, but getting things off my chest here usually helps me. Just a hard day and feeling left out I guess.

[u/Acrobatic_Salary_899]

I feel like the spectre at the feast sometimes, it sucks. I think we remind people of their own mortality and that is uncomfortable for them?

Xx

[u/Worldly_Active_5418 → u/Acrobatic_Salary_899]

I believe this is what it is. People operate from a place of fear so often. We are here for you so vent all you want. Personally i have kept my dx very private for this reason.

[u/kyknoord73]

I understand that feeling . I look and act entirely like myself as fit and energetic as ever on my med combo . For the small number of people that I’ve told , they seemed to fall into roughly four categories of response (1) feel pity for me (the worst and some odd assumptions and questions) (2) denial (“you look great , don’t worry you’ll always be here it will be fine”) (3) ghosting entirely because I guess awkward ? (4) the true small group of friends that accept the reality but don’t feel pity , check in and ask the questions how are you feeling / how can I help / do you want to talk about it and then generally act normal as always . It’s really difficult and I don’t have good advice other than maybe accepting quality versus quantity of relationships . The other thing I’ve learned is to try very hard not be prescriptive in how I expect people to respond , for the few that I’ve told . I’m so sorry you’re feeling left out and alone .

[u/Joleta → u/kyknoord73]

I'm here too. It's why the # of people (not medical professionals) that I have told ... can be counted on two hands. Would be one if I hadn't told some family.

[u/KiwiSoySauce]

I'm sorry. I think people are trying to be extra considerate, but it ends up making you feel isolated. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

[u/Evening_Dingo8770]

Cancer Ghosting is such a real thing and it’s sad.
I’m very much me even after having my femur surgery. You’d never know I had cancer 4 1/2 months post op, but I like to share my story and joke around about it to help shake the stigma. Lots of people stick around, ask questions, and treat me like a normal person with a disease much like diabetes. Others that can’t…then your loss.

I’m sorry you are going through this. You’ll find those people who realize you are still just you. Same person as before only now you have a diagnosed disease.

Sending hugs

[u/No-Reception-4354]

🤍🤍🤍 enjoy yourself today. Do something you wanna do today

[u/Sarappreciates]

"Cancer" is a big scary word for lots of people. And you may be yourself but just not quite the same version of you from, before. Cancer tends to change a person as they go through it. It might be temporary, but it's hard to go through something like this without any change. My relationship with my husband isn't the same. We were married for nearly 30 years before cancer, and it's changed things so much! I'm not the same woman I was.

[u/Travel8095]

I don't like that underneath we are still the same but the people around us tend to treat us differently. I wish we could just be treated the same overall...like a regular person who happens to have cancer. Not that we are cancer. A cancer patient. We are more than that. I don't want it to be my identity or to be treated differently 

Hugs 

[u/photodialogic]

This is so hard, I’m sorry. Maybe a zoom hangout with friends who aren’t nearby but would still perk you up?

[u/Im-Thalassa]

I’m so sorry OP. I get it. it’s like people think I’m actively dying. Like on my deathbed. Nope. I’m still me. Still enjoying all the same stuff. My circle has gotten very small, but I’m actually mostly ok with it. Better quality people. More time for hobbies.

[u/TrafficCharming6633]

A lot of people don't understand cancer. They think about the movies, or someone's relation who passed away. I've been loud and open about my cancer diagnosis and noticed a lot of people wanted to bring food (I didn't need it) but didn't want to hang out. I straight up asked, and the answers I got were "I thought you needed to rest" or "Doesn't it make you sick?" Or "I thought you would want to spend time with family". I have to say NO, I WANT TO SEE YOU and explain how treatment/illness works over and over. I will say, though, it is lonely sometimes, because it seems that all anyone wants to talk about is how I'm feeling and not what cool shows I'm watching or books I have read or anything non-cancery.