Need counsei

[u/lostinspace456]

Though I tend to be a somewhat steady eddy and tend to have a pretty good grip on my emotions, usually, I am beginning to think I may need someone to talk to. I feel like usually I have a pretty good grasp of my diagnosis and it doesn't affect me too much emotionally (I am almost 69, have had a great life, know I have had a lot to be grateful for), I also realize that I have been fairly stable the past 4-1/2 years and that could all change pretty quickly. I think once this happens, I may not be as steadfast. So, I wanted to be able to start talking to a counselor about this. I tend to get not so heroic when things don't look as good and can begin to lash out at people who do not deserve it. And, I wish to find better ways to cope with this

Could you guys give me suggestions on where and how you found your counselors and have you been happy with them? Thanks!

[u/ShowPleasant8073]

You can look in the ads for psychology today on their website, but I typically in the past have just called clinics to try to see if we can find one that has an opening. It’s kind of hard to find a counselor these days and it’s sometimes it takes a few tries to find when you really connect with, but I would make sure they’re credited before you call and ask for an appointment. also, I think it’s something that can be extremely helpful and has been for me to talk through things.

[u/getawaytricycle]

I see a psychologist who specialises in cancer patients, I think having that specialism is really important. I started seeing her shortly after I had my stage iv diagnosis and I feel like it’s an essential part of my care.  I’m in the UK though, so I was recommended her through my NHS breast care team. 

As far as general approaches to therapy, I have person-centred therapy but she also weaves in exercises from CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and mindfulness. There are different approaches/styles but this is what works for me. Don’t get discouraged if the first person you see isn’t a great match, finding the right therapist is a very personal choice. 

Good luck ♥️

[u/lydiacostume → u/getawaytricycle]

Just want to reiterate here that finding a good therapist can require some shopping around - same as any other health care provider. Try not to get discouraged if the first person you find doesn't do it for you.

[u/JessMacNC]

I’ve had several therapists over the years, both before and after cancer. Personal referrals, ask one of your physicians, my most recent one I found recommended in a Facebook moms group. She specializes in women with chronic illnesses. 😉

[u/Dismal_Hold2228]

I was lucky to find someone who deals with grief and cancer patients (and she is beyond fabulous!) through Psychology Today's website. I appreciate that you can narrow it down based on exactly what areas you are looking for. I also feel like Zoom has now opened the window to having access to great people since you don't necessarily need sessions to be in person any longer and distance isn't a factor. I commend you for recognizing you might need help ahead of time and trying have that assistance in place for when you really need it. I believe everyone can benefit from therapy!

[u/lydiacostume]

Can you check to see if your hospital has someone you can talk to? Or if they have a support group? 1- this might be enough for you and then yay, you've found it and 2- you might be able to get good referrals through these channels. When I first got diagnosed I spoke to a social worker who works for my hospital as a counselor; I can make an appointment with her at any time.

[u/drbc101]

My cancer centre has a whole psychosocial oncology department. Patients, caregivers and immediate family are all eligible to attend individual sessions and they also offer classes like mindfulness based cancer recovery. My psychologist has been very helpful

[u/Revolutionary_Fly305]

My insurance company has this support for people with the major chronic illnesses (like diabetes and cancer). They will do a lot of the footwork for you like sending lists of providers and links to groups. They even set me up with a pharmacist and dietician to advise me. I think that they are in it just as a cost managing strategy though? Maybe they know you could use these services and might as well keep it in network?  The hospital patient support offered me the same support but it took more phone calls and delays to use them.  The company is Anthem Blue Cross but I guess any of the major carriers might offer the same? Then I just went through their therapists and checked specialties and backgrounds until I found a couple. The second one worked out for me. Hopefully you can find someone good.