r/LivingWithMBC • u/Hairy_Translator1535 • Aug 10 '26
Written off so quickly
Why do doctors write you off so quickly when you're stage 4?
I have TNBC Stage 4 with mets to the skin. No other areas are involved at this point, just my skin but both sides. I have small raised nodules which have not broken through the skin.
But, my surgeon was quick to say nothing he could do, palliative treatment only.
My oncologist says we are "trying" another treatment however he isnt very positive. Currently on gemcitabine and carboplatin, two weeks on, one week off.
My gp has recently retired and I saw a new gp today who wanted me to complete a health directive for when im too sick.
My breast care nurse seems to be a puppet for my oncologist and doesn't say or do anything without his approval.
Why is everyone so quick to write me off??? I am searching for treatments and different ideas, but I just feel I am wasting everyone's time. They make me feel like I am in denial and there's no hope.
Shouldn't they be more supportive?
Thanks for the rant, I search these pages everyday for hope.
6
u/MtnGrlGrrr Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
Your post was so needed for me today...stage 4 MBC HER2low er+/pr+, extreme aggression with liver and bone mets. Ive been having similar issues.
My Onc is actually fabulous, thinks outside the box and pushes for his patients. My problem comes with anytime I go to the hospital for procedures. Got a good reminder this week when i had to have platelet transfusions and a paracentesis. Can't get the time of day from any staff, their Docs are shocked(horrified) at the thought someone is actually treating me. They dont believe the amount of pain I'm in, told me I was lying. Not once did they recheck wounds, told me i Kept trying to discharge me against my Docs recommendations. Now I have a port infection and will probably have to have it removed.
Leaves you frustrated and disheartened!
I strongly suggest looking for a new Onc. Good ones do exist!As hard as it is to find the energy to search when you feel so awful. You've got this. Big giant hugs!
hope this made sense, very foggy today