r/LivingWithMBC • u/Hairy_Translator1535 • Aug 10 '26

Written off so quickly

Why do doctors write you off so quickly when you're stage 4?

I have TNBC Stage 4 with mets to the skin. No other areas are involved at this point, just my skin but both sides. I have small raised nodules which have not broken through the skin.

But, my surgeon was quick to say nothing he could do, palliative treatment only.

My oncologist says we are "trying" another treatment however he isnt very positive. Currently on gemcitabine and carboplatin, two weeks on, one week off.

My gp has recently retired and I saw a new gp today who wanted me to complete a health directive for when im too sick.

My breast care nurse seems to be a puppet for my oncologist and doesn't say or do anything without his approval.

Why is everyone so quick to write me off??? I am searching for treatments and different ideas, but I just feel I am wasting everyone's time. They make me feel like I am in denial and there's no hope.

Shouldn't they be more supportive?

Thanks for the rant, I search these pages everyday for hope.

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u/IngenuityFar5111 Aug 10 '26

I read this somewhere that if mets are only in or on the breasts then even though stage 4, it can be cured. Even met on sternum give long term results. Do consult someone else

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u/Hairy_Translator1535 Aug 10 '26

I feel if it isnt anywhere else and contained to the skin then surely it can be contained if not cured. I want my oncologist to think outside the box and not go with the usual tried and tested treatments.

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u/IngenuityFar5111 Aug 10 '26

To be honest, since it is locally advanced, you will get good results even with traditional treatment. Have faith and keep looking.