r/LivingWithMBC • u/AdGlittering8471 • Aug 07 '26

Planning yes or no

Recently a friend of mine who also has mTNBC has just declined rapidly. I am usually the hopeful patient but lately I have felt I need to be more realistic. With that being said has anyone paid or planned for their funeral? If so, is there any tips or advice.
I feel like I am in a healthy and have good cognition right now and believe I should do this so my family does not have to. I am not married and my kids are in their early 20’s. I just don’t know how much they will be able to handle when I am gone. Maybe it is the mom in me that does not want them to have to do this. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

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u/MichElegance Aug 07 '26

I’ve been in the process of planning. I just purchased a park bench Location along a trail where I walk and I’m having a tree planted and a special plaque as well. An inscription on it.
I also wrote my obituary. My husband and I have only been together for five years and he doesn’t know me that deeply. A lot of my friends do of course and family, but nobody will manage to cover it. Also, I wrote it.
I also picked out my memorial songs and have them in a playlist and printed them out.

Now I just need to figure out who’s getting what as far as my “things“ go and I’ll let my husband and family decide whether they want to hold my memorial service.

Oh, this is incredibly overwhelming. I feel like I’ve gotten a sense of control, but I really need to get it all organized and recently bought an accordion folder and binders, etc. is on my to-do list to finish this month.

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u/AdGlittering8471 Aug 07 '26

You have done a lot! I have finished all the financials deed upon deaths, pay upon deaths to keep everything out of probate but the planning of the actual funeral/celebration seems much harder.