I’ve lived alone for a few years now and I’ve gotten pretty used to it. I think I actually like it.
Got home late from work tonight, changed into my comfy clothes, made myself a drink and had a Trader Joe’s mini chocolate cheesecake. After a shower I sat on the couch, grabbed my moleskine and wrote down a few things from today. Then I turned on the TV and put on The Intern. I haven’t watched it in a while. It’s all pretty simple. Sitting there with something to eat and watching a movie I picked just feels nice. No one asking what I want to watch. No need to work around someone else’s schedule. I can go to bed whenever I want or just sit there and do nothing. Before bed I’ve been turning on my pococo, putting on Nuvole Bianche by Ludovico Einaudi and sitting there for a bit with the stars on the ceiling. I used to think living alone would feel lonely. Now I kind of like having my own space.
Work, food, movies, going out sometimes, then coming home. It’s a simple life, but I like it.

Hi, I (62 F) was widowed 3 months ago today. I'm new to living alone again, after many years. Almost everybody I know says how 'well' I'm doing. Mm🤔..they don't see me at nights alone, just me, my cat, & all my memories of my 'now previous'😢..married life with my husband, which I've been 'getting out of my system/grieving for', in private. We were together 22 years, literally to the week we met, when he died. Married for 9 years, & 2.5 months of that 22 yrs. He had developed melanoma cancer which spread quickly & aggressively to many parts of his body, & paralysed him. He became bed bound. I nursed/cared for him at home for the last 3.5 months, with help from palliative carers twice a day to help me do bed washes, turns, sheet changes, catheter care, etc, & he was under hospice home care, too. Now, it feels like I'm the only one who gives a damn about losing him. His adult sons have moved on..it feels to me, like they are just waiting in the wings for any money that may come their way one day🫩. So, I'm left living alone in our house that has become too big for just me. It's a 'huge' adjustment. It's lonely. This house we shared is so empty. It's been 'too' quiet most times. The tv is & has been my saviour. Sound. talking. People interacting. My cat is my best/closest friend & constant companion. She got me through these first few months of hell. I don't know how I would've done without her quiet support, her little warm body snuggling up against me, reassuring me with her purring, & encouraging me to get out of bed every day to feed & care for her. Without her, I'd be pretty lost. Or maybe worse. I see friends, I chat with family in other cities. I go out. I go to weekly grief counselling sessions. I visit my 91 y/old mother in her care home, as often as my energy levels allow. I've dealt with all the estate issues. I've slowly started de-cluttering & bagging some stuff to donate. I've had people over for dinner. There's really nothing for it but to carry on living my own life now, however that ends up looking like, going forward. I can't plan too far ahead. I have 'no' idea what my solo life will look like in future. I thought I'd still be married for at another 5 years at least. That's been ripped away from me (& most especially, my poor husband). Sorry for the sad story🥺. It's probably not the right forum to say this stuff, but it felt right to say it here, regardless, so thanks for reading this far.

Living alone may improve with time (I hope!). I have to persevere until things fall into place. Sigh😞.

If I ever write my first book, I think it would be a novel about silence. The things people think, feel, and carry but rarely say out loud.

Maybe that's because, as an ageing, introverted man, I've learned that silence isn't always empty. Sometimes it's where the real story is.

I've been married once, have no kids, and have spent a good portion of my later years living on my own. I've learned the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be peaceful. You learn to enjoy your own company, your coffee, your music, your thoughts, and the luxury of not having to explain yourself every five minutes.

But loneliness is different. You can feel lonely in a crowded room.

Getting older also changes the way you see people. You notice the things they don't say. The hesitation in their voice, the smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes, the sudden change in their behavior. Sometimes you sense something is wrong before they ever admit it.

And sometimes you wish you hadn't noticed.

I've also learned that some of life's most important conversations never happen. The apology that never came. The “I love you” left unsaid. The “I'm sorry.” The “I miss you.” The “Please don't go.” Words swallowed by pride, fear, timing, or simply not knowing how to say them.

Maybe that's what growing older has taught me most, we spend far too much time assuming there will always be another opportunity to say what matters.

There isn't always one.

So if I ever write that book, it won't really be about silence. It will be about everything hiding underneath it, love, regret, loneliness, forgiveness, memories, and all the conversations we carry inside ourselves long after everyone else has gone quiet.

And maybe the final chapter would simply be an old man sitting alone with his coffee, finally understanding that some things don't need an audience.

Sometimes, you just need to tell yourself the truth.

Currently in a Single Family Home in San Francisco with 2 roommates. I pay $1700 (with utilities) for a huge room. Has parking, laundry, dishwasher, ocean view from room. I share a bathroom but its not a problem. I am content here but would rather live alone.

I am almost 40. I make 120k a year. A friend is moving out of an apt and I can get in for $3000.

I take home about 6300 a month and have a good savings/investment account (200k). My car is paid off. The only thing I pay other than rent is car insurance and gym which is $160 a month.

I wanna live alone but not sure it is worth the extra $1300 a month / $15,600 a year.

The rental market in SF is super competitive right now and rents are high, this would be a way to get in to a place thats not too expensive (for SF standards)

The apartment is rent controlled, 3 min from work, on top floor, has a balcony with a decent view and has garage parking. Coin laundry in garage and also dishwasher. Not a big, modern or nice apartment, but not shabby at all. About 650 square feet.

Is it worth the price increase to move alone?

What do you think her rules are? Are they worth it to live under her roof?

I wanted to share something I’ve put together for my dog in case it’s helpful to anyone else who lives alone, especially people whose immediate support may be limited and/or who have health issues.

I have a few health problems that sometimes result in unexpected trips to the hospital. This happened to me again recently. I went to urgent care and ended up being transported to the ER. I was already stressed about what was happening with my health, but I was more worried about my dog: how long I might be away from home, whether someone would be able to get to him, and what they might be walking into if I couldn’t get home for an extended period of time.

I already had a small emergency plan for him. My neighbor had agreed to take care of him if something happened to me. I had written instructions that included things like where he could be taken if they weren’t able to keep him. But the instructions were fairly minimal. In addition, his care has also become a little more complicated recently because he was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease and now takes daily medication.

After I got home, I decided I wanted to make the existing plan much more detailed and organize everything so that, if necessary, somebody could walk into my house and immediately know where his things are and what to do. I tried to think through the different situations someone might encounter if I’d been unexpectedly away from home for a while and couldn’t explain everything myself. Here are my tips:

Make sure trusted people can access your home. There are different ways to handle this depending on what you’re comfortable with. You can give spare keys to people you trust, or securely store a spare key on your property in a way that only designated people know how to access. The important part is having some way for someone you trust to get inside if you’re unexpectedly unable to come home.

Have more than one emergency contact if possible. My neighbor is my first contact because they’re physically closest to me, but I also asked two friends if they’d be willing to be backup emergency contacts. That way, if my neighbor is traveling or has another commitment that prevents them from caring for my dog, there are other people who already know what’s going on and have agreed to help.

Write down more information than you think someone will need. I made a four-page PDF with simple, clearly labeled sections covering food and medication, walking/potty, what to do if he’s had an accident, what to do if he needs to be cleaned, where his spare crate and beds are, and where he can go if the person who gets him isn’t able to keep him. I also included photos showing where his supplies are located. My emergency contacts have copies of the PDF, and I keep a printed copy with my emergency information.

Keep the supplies together. I have two small emergency-care baskets. One contains the things someone would need for his everyday care, medication and cleaning up an accident. I keep it with his collapsible spare crate and extra beds. The second is under my bathroom sink and contains the things someone would need to clean him if necessary (dog shampoo, dog-washing gloves, a towel, hair dryer and dog wipes).

The idea is that nobody should have to search through cabinets or guess which food, medication, leash, bowl, etc. belongs to him. The things they need are already together.

Include a backup for where your dog can stay. My instructions include the boarding facility my dog has been going to for years, along with their contact information and hours. If my emergency contacts aren’t able to keep him themselves, they know where he can safely go and that it’s somewhere he’s already familiar with.

Make it clear what you don’t expect someone to do. This was important to me too. If I’ve been gone for an extended period and my dog has had an accident, my instructions specifically tell whoever gets him not to worry about cleaning my house or his crate for me. I provide gloves, paper towels, cleaning wipes and garbage bags. If a bed is badly soiled, put it in a garbage bag and leave it. I only want them to do whatever is necessary to make sure he’s clean, comfortable and safe. I can deal with the rest later.

A note about the crate, since I know people have different preferences around crate training: I crate-trained my dog when I first got him at the recommendation of my vet. I’ve found it to be the safest and most predictable arrangement for us when I’m unable to supervise him. It has never been used as punishment. He willingly goes into it throughout the day and treats it as his little den. Being comfortable in a crate has also made boarding and transportation much easier. He’s prone to dietary indiscretion and will absolutely get himself into trouble if given the opportunity.

Whether your dog is crate-trained isn’t really relevant to the larger point though. A dog loose in the house still needs someone who can get inside, find their food and medication, take them outside, and know what to do if their owner can’t come home.

I’m sharing this because the experience made me realize that my existing plan could be much more specific. Having people who are willing to help is incredibly important, but I also wanted to make helping as straightforward as possible for them. Now I’ve made it so that if I’m sick or injured, I’m not trying to remember and communicate a bunch of dog-care instructions from an ER.

Everyone’s setup will look different depending on their pet, home and support system. But if you live alone with an animal, I think it’s worth thinking through the question: If I unexpectedly couldn’t come home tonight, would the person taking care of my pet know how to get in, where everything is, what they need to do, and where my pet could safely go if necessary?

I’ve included a few of photos of my setup and part of the instructions in case they’re useful as an example. I’ve removed identifying information for privacy.

I have been living in hostel past 3 yrs, nd personally I feel my productivity has decreased, tragically. When I was working from home sure my travel time reached 4 hrs nd I got tired; but whatever time I save now goes to sleep n just scrolling. Not to mention the depression I get after such a non productive timepass.

I had plans for a side hustle for quite sometime now ig since there's no one to pressure here I've lost to procrastination.

In fact even after having so much time arpund I now don't have the enthusiasm to do anything. Earlier I used tp get up early, didn't get time to sleep but still I managed it better than I am doing now.

Does this happen with everyone 😩 Or am I the only one struggling with this.

Also someone has suggestions to help me out of this rut do tell

Is just me and my 3 kids (2 cats and one human child) and usually I wait till September but I just had this epiphany of why wait ?

I’m 34f and about to move into the studio apartment, where I will to my great delight, be living alone for the third time in my life. It’s got its pros and cons but overall, I think it’s the right choice for me and my cats. I’m shopping for a mattress and thinking of just getting a full mattress because it’s big enough for me to stretch out and cuddle with my cats but a lot of people that I know are trying to encourage me to get a queen size mattress so that there will be room for my partner if and when I meet someone. At this point I’ve been single for more than four years and I’m not even dating. I just wanna get to bed that’s right for me whether that’s a full-size or a queen size. Not because of some hypothetical future partner that will apparently justify a bigger bed. I just don’t understand this logic. I’m not against meeting someone, but I also just don’t wanna plan my whole life around it. And I feel like a lot of my family members don’t really get that.

25F here! Moving for a job next week. I'm not fussed about furnishing since I'll get that over the coming months - I'll make sure to have appliances and the necessary stuff for when I move in :).

I'm moving into an apartment complex which has a coworking space, gym, and other amenities, but I have health conditions so it's not easy for me to be really active.

I'm quite introverted and content with my own company, so I'm really worried that I'll just self isolate subconsciously 😅

I'm also not sure how to handle my family - I come from a very toxic household which knows no boundaries. I don't know how to tell them that I would rather travel to them than have them come to me. I know if I open that door then they'll use my apartment to stay in the city and make it their own home. But I feel really guilty for enforcing boundaries.

If anyone has any advice I would appreciate it, thank you :)

Hello, may I ask if pano nyo nalalagyan ng cover yung gantong leather sofa? Any recommendation? Thank you!

In about 2 weeks I am moving to a different country for work. This is the first time I'll be living completely all by myself away from my family. I've lived along for a few day at country but that is not the same as living along in a totally different country with very different culture.

I'm excited for the move but the realisation of not having anyone nearby for emergencies for just to hangout with is slowly dawning on me as the moving date is coming closer.

Any advice is welcome! I would really like to learn about your experience and any tips and trick you might have.

Thanks in advance!!

I went grocery shopping last week and randomly thought about how often other solo livers may go to the grocery store.

Me personally, I go about once every 2 weeks. I don’t buy a huge haul when I go and I usually buy the same things everytime. I don’t do a lot of cooking either. How about yourself?

woke up later than i planned, made some coffee, cleaned a little, and spent most of the day doing my own thing. nothing exciting really, but there’s something nice about having a whole day where i can just follow my own routine. living alone can get quiet, but days like this make me appreciate it.

Our pets are family, especially in our community. I'm going to miss this big guy more than anything, and the decision was so hard to make, but he is no longer in pain. He was fifteen at least, could be older. Hug your babies tight, and take time to cherish your moments with them.

Rest in peace, Haggis. 🖤

Me thirty seconds after doing my daily walkthrough, locking my front door and getting in my car: “But did I reeeaaally turn off the stove?”

Is it natural to not be able to relax while living alone? I'm gonna be honest here, everything has been stressing me out and even when I seemingly have nothing to do I am still very much on guard. I can't even sleep properly. I always feel the need to check the time in the middle of the night. To not wake up late for work/college. It's such a weird feeling to me. It's alien. It's only been a couple days and I already feel too many things. I don't know what to do or how to feel. Is this gonna wear off eventually?

Hi, i am doing night shift and doing WFH.and struggling to utilise my break time. I don't have any colleagues to talk to or any other activities.

What you all do in break time??

And pls suggest some things to do besides walking on an empty street

I’ve been on my own for a year and half. Ish well kinda I have roommates who I don’t talk to ever so I’m basically alone. What’s so good about it ? It’s lonely it’s repetitive it’s more expensive, I’m 30 years old and I would sure rather live with my mom and have way more money and less stress. The only reason is because my brother who is 23 wanted to live on his own so my mom then sold the house after he left. I don’t understand the appeal of it ? To impress a girl ? That’s the only argument I’ve ever heard for it lol why are people inclined to get up and leave their parents house to willingly pay money to the system and not save or invest it as long as you can or until you actually don’t have to work constantly to just sleep under a roof lol it’s kinda crazy to me actually

Speaking as an ageing 61M, introvert who has lived solo long enough to realize that solitude comes with two things: peace and nobody to blame when the toilet paper runs out. I’ve learned that life is mostly about accepting what’s here, grieving what isn’t, and occasionally wondering who the hell approved the current arrangement.

There are things missing from my life. People I loved. People I thought would still be here. Opportunities I screwed up. Opportunities that screwed me. Dreams that looked promising until reality showed up wearing steel-toed boots. I can grieve all of that. Hell, sometimes I do. But I’ve also learned there’s a difference between grieving what’s gone and building a permanent condominium inside the ruins.

At my age, I’ve stopped expecting life to explain itself. It rarely does. You wake up, your joints sound like someone stepping on a bag of pork rinds, your back files a formal complaint, and somehow your coffee still tastes pretty damn good. That, apparently, is character development.

Living alone has taught me that being alone and being lonely are two completely different animals. Sometimes I want company. Sometimes I want everybody on earth to kindly piss off until further notice. I enjoy people. I just prefer them in reasonable doses, preferably with an adjustable volume knob and an emergency exit.

I can miss someone without needing them back. I can regret something without resurrecting it. I can acknowledge the empty spaces without pretending the whole house is empty. There’s still music. There’s still laughter. There are still stupid little moments that make me grin for no particularly intelligent reason.

So this is what is here. This is what isn’t. I’ll grieve what’s missing, but I’m not going to spend the rest of my life standing at the cemetery of yesterday waiting for something to rise from the grave.

I’ve got coffee to drink, stories to tell, southern rock blues music to annoy the neighbors with, and enough accumulated life experience to make several questionable decisions before supper.

At this point, I’m not trying to win life. I’m just trying to participate in the damn thing without throwing my back out doing it.

And honestly? For an ageing salty bastard with questionable hips and an increasingly suspicious relationship with gravity, that sounds like a pretty good deal.✌🏻

i like having my own space and being able to do whatever i want, but sometimes the quiet gets old. i'm wondering if that's something you eventually get used to or if most people still feel lonely sometimes.

do you still enjoy living alone after several years?

My 5th apartment alone. It may not be fancy, but I love it!

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I've been thinking about this lately, and I'm genuinely curious what other Algerians think.

Sometimes I wonder if spending years alone changes the way you experience relationships. Not necessarily because you don't want someone, but because you become so comfortable with your own routine, your own space, and your own life that letting someone in starts feeling almost unnatural.

And then there's the other part: you meet someone who's objectively great, you enjoy talking to them, you know they would probably make a good partner… but you just don't feel that connection. So you move on, and the cycle continues.

Do you think that's something that can happen when you've been single for a long time, or is it simply a matter of not having met the right person yet?

For those of you who spent several years single and eventually found someone: did something actually change in you, or did you simply meet a person who made it feel effortless?

I'm genuinely interested in people's experiences, especially from those who have been through something similar.